Nervous, I tell ya. You, closest friend. So terribly nervous I have been these past few days. And yet, how can I be blamed? I would give the world for a pittance if I could but steady my hand and see the thing through. Oh, I know it all sounds so awful and dreary, and for that I do apologize. I neednt involve you in such personal matters, I suppose - and yet, to keep the truth locked inside simply will not do. No, not at all. And so, my ever faithful companion, I come to the matter of contention with which I find myself so vexed: I killed her.
I burned the body afterwards so as to leave no trace of my misdeeds, if misdeeds they should turn out to be. I scattered the ashes on a southerly breeze and there felt my soul unburden in cathartic relief. Do not be so hasty in your judgement of my character just yet, however - for I tell you in earnest, and with nothing but the truth on my tongue, that the horror she would have wrought was most grave indeed and not to be abided. Please, permit me to explain myself further, and perhaps I may yet be exonerated in your eyes.
The first of many oddities began in the sweltering yet dulcet Georgian summertime, when the whippoorwills punctuated the cool, otherwise silent breeze, and when Johnson and Stern were at the height of their influence. Surely you must recall the day when that gaudy dining room table and those rickety chairs were brought into the manor. I say you must remember because the uproar among the household that day was quite severe. Charlotte always was a rather peculiar woman, you see, and the help certainly made their disdain known to all that would listen. Oh, she meant well, my friend. You know how things are, though. The ostentatious will always scoff at the underwhelming. Social castes exist for a reason, I suppose, although you and I both know these arbitrary dividers are not always correctly placed. I know for a fact that the elder Thomas sister had her way with the bellhop down on Clarence Drive, and Mr. Treadway - well, I neednt remind you of Mr. Treadways nasty little habits of chewing tobacco and strong whiskey.
Thanks, but I don't agree with the changes all that much. Exorbitant can describe a person's position, and shall is just fine as a word choice. It's supposed to be verbose and old fashioned. Simplifying sentences would serve no purpose other than to subvert the style I'm going for tbh. I get that they disrupt the flow for you, but for me I find words like "quite" and "rather" add to the manner of the speaker.
Though your re-write isn't bad. I don't dislike it beyond a few those few omissions. I like the idea of the dash I suppose. ---
Now playing: God of War Reading: Swann's Way by Marcel Proust