LogFAQs > #894306120

KogaSteelfang posted...

No, just that I'm unfit to be with as I am. That I need to fix myself before I can consider being with anybody. It just feels like they're saying I'm not worth being with, and it seems like half my issues are from being unwanted anyway. I thought being with somebody be good, but I guess not.

Well I hope you'll listen to me as somebody who's in a situation that's not so different from yours. At 27 I'd had no experience with women, but stumbled into a quasi-relationship with an oddly persistent woman. She was unattractive and selfish. She was a liar, and a thief. She was heavily into drugs, including heroin now if I credit what I hear. She was jaded and cynical and never happy. She would constantly lie to me and solicit suggestive pictures that she would turn around and show to other people. She was an absolutely awful idea on my part. Just atrocious. I let her use me as a doormat for a while before she threw me away as disdainfully as she possibly could.

I'm not sure if I could overstate how grateful I am to her. Her coming into my life was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I'd had this conception of relationships and love as something remote, something on a pedestal, something miles away from me. She took a needle to that bubble with sadistic glee, and it was liberating for me. It got me out of my own head a little and helped me stop overthinking about these things. Just getting some experience, however embarrassing it ultimately was, was really valuable.

It's been just over a month since that absurd experiment ended, and I haven't magically turned into a 'Chad'. I'm still an ugly, awkward, lonely loser. But I'm much happier now than I have been in a long time, and I have absolute faith that I'm going to find somebody better. It's really not so hard after all when we tear down these walls we put up around ourselves. I really think you should just find somebody. Anybody. Not Ms. Right, just somebody as lonely as you are, because that's not so rare as you might think. Just something different to pull yourself out of that rut and to get some experience and to hopefully change your whole perspective on these things. If I can do it, I find it difficult to believe that you can't.
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Feeling really good.