I think I've developed a bit of agoraphobia tbh. I walked to my parents house yesterday and it felt weird being outside. Or around people. Sometimes I feel like there is no real me and like I don't exist so seeing myself in the mirror or watching my shadow kind of freaks me out.
I....I don't know how to process that.
It's part of BPD, or can be. Unstable sense of self combined with extreme isolation has created a bit of a mental rift where I don't really know who I am. I have a name and a home and a family, but there is no me.
Maybe get a hobby.....????? I don't know. Find something that taps into your potential and allows you to see yourself differently.
...
I wrote 400,000+ words, 8 books. I drew my own comic. I got my blue belt in BJJ last year. I have more than enough hobbies.
See, right there.....you're an author, a comic book artist, and a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu......there's more to you than just a name.
Well yeah, but those are just things I do. They're surface level. Underneath I feel...odd. Like I'm not who I used to be and the idea of me died along with my friends and girlfriends. ---