LogFAQs > #889706558

LeetCheet posted...

Ok I get what you're all saying but I do feel like my mood can kinda often become the opposite in an instant.
I realize now that I kinda forgot to elaborate on that part in my opening post.

Like one thing that happen often at work; I work with a guy and we deliver food to elderly people and we often laugh a lot while we drive in the car to our next destination.

But in the middle of the laughter I realize that I'm working with one of the laziest guys I've ever known and that I'm usually the one who does almost everything all the time.

Driving the car, delivering the food, answering the phone. I always have to do all of that while he just loafs off doing shit on his phone and eating snacks.
It gets pretty annoying.

I do feel kinda happy at home sometimes though. But my good mood can easily go away for something as little as small complaint.

A common example would be when my girlfriend points out that I've done that was apparently wrong. Stupid shit like that I didn't send her a text when I got home.
I immediately get bummed out and lose any will or desire I had to do anything.
She also tend to bombard me with lots of texts that I don't even bother responding to.

This still doesn't sound like bipolar to me.

I grew up with a bipolar parent, so I'm pretty good at spotting the symptoms. It's not just "mood swings" - again, what you've described sounds more like depression to me, though I freely admit I'm not an expert. It's really difficult to describe the mania that goes with bipolar disorder, but the best example I have is Jim Carrey, who is actually bipolar. Go watch the most insane parts of his movies - like the parts where he has so much energy he seems to be almost not in control of it, like he's about to burst at the seams. That's mania. People going through a manic phase can almost seem like they're on speed or cocaine or something similar - they'll have boundless energy and restlessness and an almost pathological disregard for the long-term consequences of their actions. Bipolar people in a manic phase will suffer from things like hypersexuality or insomnia and will do things like go on massive spending sprees or hosting huge parties. My mother used to go downtown and start handing out $50 bills to homeless people, something my family really could not afford to do at the time.

And contrary to the common portrayal of bipolar disorder, manic energy is not necessarily positive energy - when my mother would get angry while manic, she would absolutely explode, and even when she wasn't a big tip-off for me that she was hitting a manic phase was that she would obsess over everything, never sitting still and always fretting and worrying about absolutely everything. It would wear her out, but she couldn't stop.

So yeah, I dislike the characterization of bipolar disorder as mood swings between happy and sad; it's more like energy swings between extremely high-intensity and extremely low-energy, to the point where bipolar people hitting a depressive state have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. It's not something that happens mid-conversation; manic and depressive phases usually last days or sometimes even weeks, rather than being something you'll notice changing on an hour-to-hour basis.

But, once again, beware the risks of self-diagnosing. Go see a psychologist or other mental health professional and get their opinion on it. I know it's difficult to bring yourself to do, but trust me, the sooner you get a professional involved the sooner you can address what's bothering you.
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