LogFAQs > #978590388

-Yes I am debating logic in a game that features a mer-elf leave me alone.
-Sparky gets himself into hysterics and faints again. Clearly out of GUILT. Im on to you Sparky McBuildingexploder or whatever your last name was again.
-Sparky: Well, the security guard saw Seanta enter the warehouse and then a few minutes later it exploded. His charred corpse looked super guilty, trust me.
-Couple of other important points: list of people allowed in is very restrictive and only Seanta was around at the time (clearly someone not on the list just snuck in, calling it now) and the security guard didnt see anyone else around at the time (they were distracted and will admit as much on the stand, also calling it).
-Trickle doesnt think Seanta would have motive to do it but Sparky volunteers one immediately (BECAUSE HE DID IT AND IS TRYING TO SHIFT SUSPICION!)
-According to Sparky, belief in Seanta is down. Kids these days have TV and Video Games to entertain them. So the real killer of Christmas wasTHIS GAME! I knew it all along. Take it away, boys.
-Sparky says people are saying that this got to Seanta. Mm hmm. Who is this people? Is peoples name Sparky Kaboom?
-Sparky: They all want such complicated toys! Have you ever tried to make a Playbox 720? Yes kids should want simpler toys! Like a smaller console. Maybe yellow. That has visuals from the early 1980s. Yes, that would be the thing that saves Christmas!
-Also Sparky you just told me kids dont believe in Seanta because they want video games instead of toys. Now video games ARE toys? Wheres my OBJECTION button?
-Sparky says Seanta is researching alternative ways to get presents made to meet demand. Were mer-elf jobs at risk due to automation?!? Is that why you blew up the toys, Sparky Toybreaker?
-Sparky: Seanta needs a defense lawyer. Mer-elves dont really have many trials or anything like that. We dont have mer-courts and instead dole out mer-vigilante justice. Its usually a mer-massacre.
-Apparently the people managed to get a fancy Atlantean prosecutor, so Seanta is screwed. Well, good thing ol Sparky here came to someone who has been on the job for exactly one day. Ill take the case!
-Sparky is a little less than enthused when he finds out this is Trickles first day. Maybe you shouldnt have made your legal decisions based on your agoraphobia, dude. I was too scared to go into the law office with a bunch of people inside of it so I went to one with no people and oh no there are consequences! Yeah duh.
-Also Sparky reveals the trial is tomorrow. So you waited until the very last day to get a lawyer and you picked one with no experience. Almost like you want Seanta to be found guilty, you no good elf!
-Sorry. Mer-elf.
-Apparently Sparky was the one to come because every other mer-elf thinks Seanta is guilty. -Imagine being such a bad boss that all your workers turn on you the second they can. Only one thinks you actually love Christmas, Seanta, and hes probably the one who did it since his name is Sparky OFirestarter.
-Sparky puts a bag over my head not because Im ugly but because he cant let outsiders find the way to the North Pole. Fair. I would immediately put out a Tik Tok if I could.
-Trickle: MFFMFMMFFFFMFMMFF!! And Trickle died asphyxiated by the bag. The end.
-Investigation Day 1! Oh so this is a multi-day affair? Interesting!
-We are on the last of the polar ice, kept safe by Seantas magic after the rest melted. See, mer-elves? You convict Seanta and global warming wins.
-Also hey Seanta maybe use more of your magic to help with the climate and we can figure out the whole toy thing on our own.
-Trickle just casually drops that she can switch from fins to legs. Did you happen to make some sort of deal with a sea-witch, Trickle? Those never work out.
-Theres someone giving a speech or something on a nearby stage, and Sparky excitedly tells me Rizzle is back!
-Rizzle did it. On account of her being the only other named character for now, but she totally did it.
-Rizzle: I have enough Rizzle brand toys that every little boy and girl can have a Rizzle-Razzle Christmas! Oh Rizzle actually totally did do it, didnt she?
-Someone in the crowd asks Rizzle to marry them. I wouldnt, man. Im about to send her to elf jail.
-Sorry. Mer-elf jail.
-Sparky: Did you hear that? Rizzle has a plan to save Christmas! Sparky you idiot. Youre lucky ol Trickle is here to save the day from this charlatan.
-So Rizzle is apparently a WORLD FAMOUS ELF with her own tv show (that Sparky has never seen) and her own line of toys (that look cheaply made). So she sabotaged Christmas to sell her knock-off dolls at a huge profit, Im guessing. CASE CLOSED.
-Sparky bemoans the fact his toymaker 5000 went missing just before the warehouse exploded. Hey Sparky, this wouldve been something great to bring to my attention IMMEDIATELY.
-Trickle: Looks like Rizzle is still giving out her toys to the crowd. She has them eating out of her hands. Sparky: Yeah, shes always had a knack for getting people to see things her way. Something about her just makes people want to do whatever she says. Trickle: (More like two somethings, Ill bet. Ugh.) I really was hoping to avoid the phrase elf tits but here we are.
-There are four locations I can inspect. The guard room is locked down since theres nothing left to guard. Im a bit curious why there was an elf guard in the first place. How bad is crime at the north pole?
-There are also the elf dormitories. Seanta is currently in a jail they made in the old laundry room. It smells like old elf socks. Sorry. Mer-elf socks.
-Theres also the blown up warehouse! This one I can actually go check out so I do.
-???: YOU CANT BE HERE WITHOUT PROPR AUTHORITISATION! NO TRESSPASSIN!Ah, the classic trope of the hillbilly mer-elf strikes again.
-So this angry guy is Lox. Hes the security guard and his face is completely covered by his beard. I look forward to destroying this guys testimony.
-Also Sparky created a thing that goes on the top of this guys hat to show his emotions since his face is always hidden by his beard. Sparky not to poo poo your invention but I feel like maybe you couldve also used the invention of a razor and accomplished the same thing. But cool emoti-hat, I guess.
-What happened? Lox: SEANTA DONE GONE WENT MAD IS WHAT HAPPENED! Alright man jeez can you answer my questions without having an aneurysm, please.
-Lox wont let us inspect the rubble without clearance. Guy. Its rubble. Im not going to turn it into super rubble.
-Lox: II let that rule slide one time and look where it landed us. Ill no let it happn again. I have no clue what accent this is supposed to be at this point, but its wild.
-Lox: I shouldve known! We shouldve know the pressure was weighin on im. I never figured hed burn it all down for the insurance money! Seanta has insurance? Are there mer-insurance agents, too?
-Trickle: Who on earth insures Seantas toy warehouse? Trickle asking the important questions.
-Sparky: Im pretty certain nobody does. Ok Lox I see a small error in your theory.
-Well Lox still wont let us in until we get authority. Who gives authority? Seanta. Lox, once again I am forced to question your logic.
-Ah well, I got to go see Seanta in jail so he can give me clearance to see the spot the guard thinks he blew up. Fine.
-Theres something kinda weird and laggy here. Like I cant quit out on one button push. For every other game, you press the top button and it closes out the game. Here it takes like six times like the game is trying its hardest to ignore you.