LogFAQs > #977213938

It's apparent that my mum is part of his abuse and I don't know how to come to terms with that. I came home and saw him sat at the table, I don't know how she expects me to feel when my abuser is still in the house.

My mum proceeds to gaslight me and turns it against me for making her ill. I only ever respond to her rationally, yet I'm repeatedly gaslighted, told that 'he's done nothin to me', that 'I can't let go of the past'. I've lived in fear for years but she completely invalidates this time and again. I've been threatened repeatedly, and lived on edge in his presence.

All summer I was ringing helplines everyday as a cry for help due to the intense fear of being in his presence after he's had a drink. He does all sorts of dodgy shit yet she constantly defends him. She even told him "don't let HIM stop you from comin" referring to me. I told her I'm considering a restraining order against him, she said if I do that then I'm not thinking about her stress. She said it's not abuse because 'he's never hurt you'. She even blames it on my reclusive personality, saying I don't come downstairs which is irrespective of the abuse. She even told me that I'm gaslighting her despite only ever responding to her rationally. She shuts me down repeatedly, even simply responding to her rationally gets me gaslighted. This my own mother telling me this. Completely invalidating the threats, the antisocial behaviour, years of living in fear.