LogFAQs > #976746198

-Its Glasya-Labowhatever. Hopefully hes here to thank me for the thing I helped him with and not yell at me for the thing I didnt.
-I have many names. CaacrinolaasCaassimolarClassyaborym. Do you have any names less than 18 syllables? These are hard to type out.
-So he seems a bit grumpy with me. First for giving Cimeaes the idea to recruit his men into his army. Second for releasing Crocell from his servitude. Will an apology suffice?
-His head sits upon a spike at the gates of my kingdom. SoooI mightve bet on the wrong horse on that one. Oops.
-He asks who I fight for and I say him. Mostly because I dont want to get murdered.
-Oh hes cool with me now. Well, then. This demon is kind of a dummy because I didnt even have a good lie.
-He says hell grant me a favor as a sign of gratitude. I can ask for help for one of the two dummies here, or I can ask for the sixth throne for myself, OR I can ask if cats live long enough to be grandfathers. The choice is obvious.
-He says NO and then tells me I can ask something else. What the hell? This game is a full on grandfather cat conspiracy theorist at this point.
-I can now only pick between finding the cat and helping the dummy learn a language. Another easy choice because I dont want to leave this poor cat out there. Other girl can study for French on her own time.
-Glasya-Seomthingsomething is like you know Im an all powerful demon, right? This is what you want to ask me? Trust me the other option was way dumber.
-I taunt him into helping me find the cat, which he does. Her cat is fucking my cat right here in the attic. Seems like we shouldve been able to hear them then. Thanks Glasya-Soandso.
-I ask him to perform a cat wedding. It doesnt go well.
-Apparently Baal is going to murder me for interfering with demons. Maybe I can ask him to perform a cat wedding?
-The president is like it will totally definitely happen but I just dont know when. Uh huh. Let me guess: three chapters from now?
-I will either have to face him or run for the rest of my life. I am good at cowardly running away, so lets do that option.
-Well thats it for now. The demon book has been updated with everyone covered in blood and a final page from Baal saying we need to talk. I need to bring people who have been helping me so far and thats it. No music or tribute. This guys all business.
-Updated profile for Tracey Young: We had a wedding for our cats. I dont want to talk about it. Hey man dont deprive me of the sweet deets of a cat wedding!
-I bring the note forgetting girl, the cat marriage girl, and the debate team guy to help out. Quite the motley crew.
-Cat wedding girl: There isnt anything else I need. I guessI do have two guinea pigs that could get married. STOP MARRYING YOUR ANIMALS TO OTHER ANIMALS.
-Well, this worked. Baal shows up and asks me to have a seat over there. NEXT TIME, ON TO CATCH A DEMON SUMMONER
-Baal says he maybe might not maybe wont kill me. Maybe. I like those odds!
-He wants to talk first and ask me some questions, and hell let me ask questions in return. My question is going to be will you please not kill me?
-He wants to know why Im summoning all these demons and meddling in the affairs of hell. None of the options sound that great so I go that I think demons are more interesting than people.
-I can ask him a question now. Two are catty (including one thats just isnt Shax awful? which is definitely a high school thing to say). I ask if hes ever loved anyone as that seems the most interesting.
-Aye mortal. I have loved Lilith, the lady and mother of jackals and desert beasts. I want to get my wife a hoodie that says Im not a normal mom Im a jackal mom just to see what her reaction is.
-Thou are nearing the end of thy journey through hell. Wait what? Really? Ive been playing for like an hour!
-He asks if I regret my actions. I say yes, for one of my friends. He asks who and I can say Grace or Annie. Waitwho the hell were these two again?
-Ok going through my notes Grace is the one who wanted people to forget her secret and Annie is the one who was a religious nut sleeping with Aaron. Obviously I go with Grace.
-Next group of questions comes with why do I have to die? which was my joke question at the start so Im 100% picking that one.
-Everything must die. There is no shame in this. Ok maybe I wasnt clear. Why must I die NOW is more what I was getting at.
-Final question he asks is do I like myself. I take the middle option as it doesnt sound vain or depressed.
-Final question I ask is the big one. Can cats live long enough to be grandfathers. Truly this is what the game has been building up to!
-Not in this world nor the next. EVERYONE IS IN ON THIS CONSPIRACY.
-Alright help me out google.
-Cats can live 12 to 18 years, on average. Cats can start having kittens at 4 months of age. So not only can a cat be a grandfather, it can be a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather! Add more greats in there until the math works out, my hands were getting tired.
-Demon Quest 85: The Game Trying To Marginalize Grandfather Cats.
-He lists all the bad stuff Ive done now. Sounds pretty bad when you make a big list of it, I admit.
-Not since Joahann Weyer hath a mortal wielded so much influence when facing the demons of hell. Who?
-Wikipeida: Johann Weyer was a dutch physician who was amongst the first to publish a thorough treatise against the trials and persecution of people accused of witchcraft. Oh wow cool. Im not reading the whole article but Im going to guess they burned him alive for witchcraft.
-He doesnt want to kill me. He wants to appoint me a member of the hierarchy of demons! Do I get my own corner office?
-At the rank of Marquis, thou shall carry out mine orders in thine Earthly realm. Hmmmm. Interesting. What sort of salary/perks are we looking at here?
-Debate team guy tells me to do it because Cimeaes has made him awesome at debate since talking to him. Fair point. Cat girl says it's only because he became a dick. Also fair point.
-But its called show business, not show friendship! Well debate club isnt show business so maybe write that down for later.
-Two people say to do it. Grace says not to do it because shes lame and can think things through.
-I go ahead and do it because what fun is it not picking the crazy options at this point?
-My first mission is to go amass my legions because work has gotten to hell and other jealous demons are going to be coming for me. Wow word travels fast down there huh? This all happened literally eight seconds ago.
-Thou must spend 1986 gathering thy forces and preparing for the war that is to come. Wow Demon Quest 86 sounds like its gonna be a banger.
-He says hell see me in one year and then it just says THE END?
-WHAT? Really? Thats it?
-Oh what the hell credits. Thats really it.