LogFAQs > #976065095

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#93 - Globglogabgalab (Strawinsky and the Mysterious House) (Karo Nom. #1/4)
From the dc.wikia.com of Earth-4, under the article of "Globglogabgalab":

"...who unfortunately was transformed by Grossout's sentient sludge, meaning that despite Philbert escaping his years-long monstrous curse, a new being would bear it like a cross. Becoming something akin to an earthworm-human hybrid, the security guard now known as Globgloabgalab (thanks to his inability to communicate coherently) would take Grossout's place on the team in the last published issue of the title. Even though the group would appear sporadically afterwards in titles such as JLA: Black Baptism and Superboy the Ravers through cameos, Globglogabgalab would ultimately disappear after a handful of appearances. His final fate is unknown."

My Thoughts:
In my initial post, I made a ruling that said I'd do no research for any of these nominations. I think that's fair, since you all aren't doing any research either, so that street should go both way. Thus, we witness the first drop of what I call the category of "I Don't Know You and I Don't Care to Know You". I promise, these write-ups are receiving the absolute least amount of effort possible and are deserving of my eternal enmity. Clearly, Karo was going for a joke nomination here. The problem with joke nominations are that, ever since I exited my 20's, I just don't find anything cute or funny any more. Instead, it infuriated me. It earned my eternal ire, and I made a sticky note reminding myself that, should Karo ever host a ranking of his own, I should torpedo it with something equally as terrible, aesthetically disturbing, and out-and-out dumb as some super-niche, badly animated whatever.

Don't worry, Karo. There are other people who ticked me off worse than you with these noms. You're getting off easy.

But let's talk about Globglogabgalab for a moment. Aside from the absolutely horrid aesthetic design, there's a discomfort factor in the nude color palette that makes Globglogabgalab a terrible nomination. The sort of nomination that fits into mid-90s Ghost Rider, Rob Liefeld Image or, as you can see here, a low-rent DC 90's horror outfit that shops around grotesqueries as odd curiosities for the sort of readers that enjoy Slipknot and horror. It's a looky-loo design engineered to play like the freaks in a circus. Point and laugh and leave feeling unsettled - there's nothing worse than that. It's the basest sort of perversion in the human experience. I hope I didn't just drop Snake as a reader.