LogFAQs > #975662484

KI_Simpson posted...

I'm slightly younger than you (36) and also barely knew what being trans was growing up (my understanding as a child was basically "some men have surgery to make them women"). After quite a bit of internal denial and then struggling, I realized I was and came out as nonbinary about a year ago, and I can promise you that kids who aren't cis do have to worry about it regardless of how much they're told. In fact they have to worry way more about it if they aren't aware of what they're going through. I remember having intense feelings of sadness as a preschooler over being consigned to gender roles I never chose and my belief that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change them. I suppressed them as completely as I could and never told anyone, but the pain they were causing me was still there and there are plenty of things I recognize as being caused by it in retrospect. As a young adult I knew transwomen and transmen existed, since I didn't specifically want a female body (I was AMAB) I still didn't realize I wasn't cis since nonbinary identities were still out of my radar.

So basically, not knowing about gender issues and that they can talk to people and make changes in how they identify if the gender they were assigned at birth is hurting them absolutely can harm children and has been all along. It isn't something you can just tell them to wait until they're an adult to think about.

Thank you for telling me this. Gives me something to think about. I appreciate you giving me your perspective growing up. As a straight male, it is difficult to see from a perspective like yours and I think more open dialogue will help all of us as time goes by.

It really sucks that how people feel has been politicized (to put it very mildly). I feel older people feel "attacked" (I know it is silly) when they are told they must comply with proper pronouns etc. without having the discussion on what that MEANS. Instead, we get "news" that straight white men are being targeted and all masculinity is bad. The generational divide is pretty wide and we need discourse so we can at least try to understand each other (I had to look up what AMAB meant).

Some of us ARE willing to learn!