LogFAQs > #969559915

IDK man. I was a huge piece of shit in my teens. I was a bully too.

I had a rough childhood for sure and was bullied myself as a kid but that's no excuse.
I regret the shit so much. I've apologized to all the people I could that I wronged back then.
But yeah, one thing that always sticks out in my mind that I have never forgiven myself for.
There was this kid, he was picked on and disliked because he was different. Hyperactive and goofy.
One day between classes, on the stairs I just slapped all of his shit out of his hands for no reason.
He was shocked and he fell. So there he was on the ground with his stuff scattered all around.
I'll never forget the look on his face while everybody was laughing at him. His school life was bad enough.
Then my stupid ass came along and just made it worse for no reason that day. The worst thing about it is nobody even tried to help him. He had zero support in that shitty school.

Another time, there was this girl. She had a thing for me, and I hated that because I hated myself.
So I treated her like shit, but she kept trying to be nice to me. One day, she sat at my table at lunch, where me and some douche kids I used to hang around sat every day for lunch, 'our table'.
She wasn't very popular, and I didn't want her affecting my reputation as a piece of shit so I kicked her chair out from under her. Man, why the fuck did I do that? But that was the day she gave up on me for sure. She never really talked to me after that. The douchebags I hung out with at the time thought it was hilarious. They were so disrespectful to her. Then I humiliated her for trying to be kind to me. What a piece of garbage.

I look back on the way I used to be, and I really can't believe that person was me. The shit still trips me up. I still hate myself for a lot of it. I wronged a lot of people when I was young. These two things stand out though. These two, man, I definitely hurt them on a spiritual level and they did nothing to deserve it and that just makes it so much worse.