LogFAQs > #967232275

Tote_All_ posted...

The relationship is assymetrical, she expects me to do half of shit she does (our kid, basically, which I do), but my responsabilities are my own and fuck me for asking. She also belittles me and treats me badly, which is something I don't do. I have a fuckton of complaints actually, but I guess that one summs up a lot of it.

She's constantly on edge about me "not doing my half" with our kid, which I do. She's literally accused me of making up I need to go to the bathroom so she has to take care of him.

That's certainly a possibility, but I guess we'll see. She can be quite rational when calm and presented with objective information, it's just really hard to be objective in shit like this.

Hopefully things go well for you. Id say keep an open mind about the asymmetrical relationship stuff and try to be as objective as possible thereI dont mean to imply that you are not pulling your weight in this particular instance but its not uncommon for men to overestimate the amount of work they are putting into things like housework or chores related to raising kids, while underestimating the amount of work their partner is doing in that regard. Again, Im not saying this is true for your situation, just something to keep in mind.

As far as the belittling you and treating you badly stuff goes be on the lookout for her reactions to this being brought up. If she starts to deflect or try and paint herself as the victim, start getting ready to bail. Emotional abusers generally dont change unless they are forced to, and going to couples therapy often only makes them worse, because it gives them a new avenue through which to reinforce the psychological power imbalance in the relationship, and a whole new set of tools with which to manipulate their victim.