LogFAQs > #965875908

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I feel like they're not as obvious to her as you're perceiving them to be. Because they're so intense to you that it's hard to believe someone else wouldn't notice them. But most people see people acting strange and just go "hmm.... odd" in their head and then go back to whatever they were thinking about before. We're very self absorbed creatures for the most part.

Are you sure that's not what's happening? I noticed you said "witnessed" instead of something like "known about".

Also, if this is not a good time for you to talk about this, that makes sense.

I hate admitting this as it makes me sound pathetic, but they're fairly obvious. I stutter, my breathing gets faster and heavier, and my voice becomes pathetically whiny. I'm well aware that it's just my brain being weird and I can move on relatively quick, but it takes all the energy out of me and I get depressed for coming off as so weak, pathetic and not in control. I was having a relatively decent few days, but this ruined it.

She's made some hurtful comments in the past, like "cut the shit". My ex would do the same thing. I remember having a panic attack after almost getting into a car accident and she kept rolling her eyes saying "this is so fucking stupid". It makes me feel even worse. I can't afford therapy, I'm uninsured, and I've tried to apply for Medicaid multiple times but the process in my state is a major pain in the ass and never seems to work out.

thronedfire2 posted...

Did you apologize for apologizing so much?

I do, and I'm ashamed of it, as it makes me look weak.