If you can't accept it in your family, you don't actually accept it in anyone else. You're just able to pretend it doesn't exist elsewhere, and tolerate it that way.
Exactly.
Tolerance is not equal to acceptance.
I just find it odd my grandma's best friend was a gay dude, and she was also friends with his partner, but yet she acted like it was such sin for a family member. but I guess that boils down to her Christianity. love thy neighbor, don't pass judgement etc. but she didn't want her close family to be these supposed sinners cause I guess in her mind she taught them better.
It may be surprising to some, but the fact is, many people do feel this way, deep down.
People tolerate things they don't necessarily agree with personally.
And they can be friends with gays but still be unaccepting of them within their private space (family). This is because they view this as a separate issue and does not have a place in their lives privately. Simply put: "It's okay if it doesn't happen in my backyard."
I actually don't know how she felt about more distant relatives, i've only seen that behavior with close family members, but she was that way on more than one issue as I earlier posted about her being supportive of my moms teen and pregnant friends but lost her shit when my mom got pregnant at 20 but was unmarried.
as I said I feel it was her Christianity which does basically boil down to what you said about not in my backyard
Yup. That's right. She was upset because it happened to her daughter. Her daughter's friends and their "misfortunes" are sad but not her concern so while she will sympathise with them, in the end, she won't care. ---
"Ladies don't start fights, but they can finish them." -Marie, Aristocats