LogFAQs > #886394444

LittleRoyal posted...

Ultima Dragon posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

But that doesn't make sense.

It should be more important to spend quality time together baking goods and going out and having fun in ways we both enjoy

You could consider those things equally important or maybe even more so, since that's what you will be spending the majority of your time doing. Relationships aren't just 100% sex all the time, but sex cannot be completely absent from any relationship that you expect to be healthy or long lasting.

If you still wanted to date, basically all you could do was join an asexual support group or dating site and see if you meet someone there. You will never be able to have a healthy relationship with a man otherwise, it's just not possible. Sex is always expected, and if that's not something you're willing to compromise on even a little then the only option is to find someone who also doesn't want sex.

I've tried to compromise it and I can't. Makes me feel gross and wrong, just can't do it.

And I think it's very off beat and just inconsiderate to sit her and tell me I don't deserve/can't ever find a good relationship because I need more than a month to build up to be ready for sex.
Or to say no relationship I can be in is going to be healthy/viable just because one thing I don't want to do.

My parents are both married and didn't even have sex before marriage for whatever their reason is. I don't need to go put out and have sex with every guy just to find the guy I want.

And that CE thinks every guy I find interesting or likeable has earned/deserves sex is an absolutely incorrect mindset. I didn't say I'll never have sex and I'm not waiting for marriage specifically and I don't need just one special guy as my only ever partner like my mom did.

Butim not gonna go on 3 dates and suddenly put out.
I'm not gonna have sex with every frat boy that thinks I'm cute or think it's funny to spank me either. Not that this is the part you're arguing but still.

So no~ I am not wrong for wanting more than 3 dates. I'm not the bad guy for not being ready or willing to have sex with everyone.

Honestly, the whole "meltdown" argument, you have to just brush off when people say that. I don't even care anymore. When my points are on the table, they are allowed to take it or pass it to the next person.

On topic though:

I am one to believe that unless a guy specifies he has no desire for sex, that he definitely hopes and expects it somewhere down the line. At the same time, I believe no one should feel pressured into anything of the sort.

I am like you Little. I think the act of having sex is just outright disgusting and I can easily do without it. The truth is, almost every single man has those "man" needs and going into a relationship with a guy who wants a sexual relationship would definitely be unfair to him for either you or I if we are not going to budge on our views.

Can a couple have a healthy relationship without sex? I definitely believe so. I just think it would be a long hike through many, many men before you could find one with a similar take on sex. Men are just naturally horny creatures. If they sense there's no chance of "sticking it" with the girl they are with, they'll bail out. I hate to say that I have never met a guy who could abstain completely from sex and can't even be sure I ever will.

It would take the most perfect woman in every other way for a guy to cut ties with the idea of having sex with the woman, and even that isn't likely. We are in a corner Little. We really are. The pool of guys out there is probably a million to one. Maybe greater.
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