LogFAQs > #886392720

LittleRoyal posted...

I've tried to compromise it and I can't. Makes me feel gross and wrong, just can't do it.

And I think it's very off beat and just inconsiderate to sit her and tell me I don't deserve/can't ever find a good relationship because I need more than a month to build up to be ready for sex.
Or to say no relationship I can be in is going to be healthy/viable just because one thing I don't want to do.

My parents are both married and didn't even have sex before marriage for whatever their reason is. I don't need to go put out and have sex with every guy just to find the guy I want.

And that CE thinks every guy I find interesting or likeable has earned/deserves sex is an absolutely incorrect mindset. I didn't say I'll never have sex and I'm not waiting for marriage specifically and I don't need just one special guy as my only ever partner like my mom did.

Butim not gonna go on 3 dates and suddenly put out.
I'm not gonna have sex with every frat boy that thinks I'm cute or think it's funny to spank me either. Not that this is the part you're arguing but still.

So no~ I am not wrong for wanting more than 3 dates. I'm not the bad guy for not being ready or willing to have sex with everyone.

I didn't say any of those things though, I am just saying that you should be more realistic. Compromise doesn't necessarily mean giving it up as soon as the guy wants it. You can still take your time, but maybe try rounding some of the bases a little without going all the way home? Again, very few guys will want to date a girl that just wants to cuddle and hold hands for several months or more. That is like middle school stuff. I am not judging you or talking down to you, that is just the reality of the society we live in. A relationship without anything sexual (not even a little groping or hand play) is going to have a hard time surviving.

If you feel sex is gross and wrong, what makes you think that giving it more time is somehow going to change that? It takes more than three dates to really know someone and get comfortable, but if you're not feeling any attraction or physical desire what makes you think you ever will? It's not like after a month, or two, or three, six, a year.. your feelings are magically going to just change on their own. Maybe sex isn't for you?

I'm assuming your parents immigrated here? If that's the case, they're from a different country with a much, much different culture where no sex before marriage is pretty much the norm or is at least extremely common. It was even more common here with older generations. Today? lolno. It's not really fair to use them as an example.

So to sum it up, no guy deserves sex from you for any reason.

You're also not wrong for not wanting to have sex or to blame for your relationships not working out. You deserve to have a relationship too.

But like, how can two people be compatible when one person wants sex and the other doesn't? I think you should try to sort this out while you're still young, because it's only going to get worse the older you get.
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"It's Canada, their idea of rioting is a half-muttered swear word." - deathbeforelife