LogFAQs > #885407012

So I've got my little cousins over here with my grandpa today, we were waiting for their mom(Technically, shes my cousin and they are her kids, but at a certain point everyone is just cousins, its simpler that way) to come home so we could all go out and eat dinner..

So my cousin arrives, says we're going to a restaurant and that "aunt x and y are there we are all going to dinner together". Unexpected, and not the place I expected to go to. We were thinking BBQ before, but whatever. The place ended up being an italian place that honestly I don't think is as good as it used to be.

So we get there, and my aunts are already all there. There response is "oh, I thought you guys were still in Oregon". Me and my grandpa were in Oregon with my uncle for the eclipse, we got back yesterday. We'd told everyone like 6 months in advance, and then reminders all up to this week, that we'd be back yesterday. It wasn't exactly a secret(They just didnt give enough shits to remember). One of my aunts is having a minor freak out because they'd asked for a table for 10 and we were now 12. So we were definitely unexpected.

There were a few other things they do at the start that I wont get into, mostly rude and inconsiderate towards my grandpa, but whatever. That annoys me more than it makes me feel shitty.

So we get to part B, they have (crappy) mini cupcakes and birthday candles. They had planned this dinner, intending for both me and my grandpa not to be there, as a birthday dinner for my aunt. First off, they literally planned this dinner for my grandpas daughter, my grandpa likes his kids, and they intended to celebrate without him. Second part of this, her birthday was the 18th, so its not like this was some day of thing. They could have done this whenever.

So anyway this was a birthday dinner I wasnt intended to be invited to. So I'm already feeling awkward.

The part that effects me here, the 20th was my birthday. So we get to the point they are going to sing happy birthday to my aunt, since it was basically my birthday too, I guess they feel obligated to sing to me to(They combine us into one dumb song) even though the dinner wasnt for me and I basically wasn't invited and felt like the an outsider the whole time there. I don't think I've ever felt more insulted than being sung happy birthday to with a yellow cake(I think) mini cupcake with plain frosting on(I don't think I could think of a less desirable thing to eat) it at a dinner that was planned intentionally at a time when I was apparently thought to be out of state.

Look, I'm 31, you don't want to have birthdays for me, fine. But my cousin is 36, she still gets birthdays, my other cousin just had a big giant party for his 30th(I had a small dinner for mine last year). Or if they don't have a birthday, they at least give them presents(Or, hand them over a token sum of cash. Some sort of recognition is the point). No one mentions anything for me. No presents, no cash changing hands. Hell, my grandpa writes everyone from grandkids down a check for $100 on christmas and birthdays. But even he forgot me(Which is fine, hes 92 years old, he forgets things, and I see him literally every day).

And its not like I am an outsider to this family, one aunt here I literally took off work to go to her daughters birthday a month ago, another aunt here I literally take care of her grandkids all the time(I took them to Disneyland a couple weeks ago before they started school too).

Anyway, the dinner was awkward as hell, made me feel pretty depressed, originally a bit angry on the inside but now I'm just feeling kind of sad.
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