TC, glad you didn't lose the house. What was your relationship like before this?
Well, I'd say more good than bad, but the bad was very bad.
But for me the bad with her is that she was always the kind to get aggressive when she was not happy, which was often. It got worse as the years went by.
For example, when I went to see her during weekends at her college, it was like flipping a coin. Usually she was the sweetest thing. But if she had worries on her mind, like a difficult exam was coming up, or she didn't get along with a teammate on an assignment or something... then she'd be super aggressive and lash out about everything... like she would get super angry if she tried to get herself some tea and the heater was empty, for example. It was like if everything had to be perfect to get her in a good mood. Honestly it was exhausting sometimes.
I swear she would sometimes scream at her mom and sister on the phone when they would try to cheer her up. If she was having a bad day for any reason she essentially became a monster. Then she'd calm down and be sweet again, but her attitude made everyone basically take their distances and her family didn't contact her as often as they did... so as time went by more and more I became the only person who talked to her regularly since everyone else including her family was avoiding her. Even her best friends became more distant with her as the years went by.
It was like... for example, she would say "I'm super stressed out. I only slept 2 hours last night." So you would answer something like "I really hope you can sleep better tonight." Then she'd just scream "You don't understand anything! It's not that I'm not sleeping well, I'm not sleeping enough!"
One thing that I remember being really worried about is... this girl is a sweet thing, but she gets in that state over a meaningless stress like a mid term exam... how is she going to get when we have a kid and that kid is sick and has to go to the doctor or something? It kind of scared me.
Wow TC - as others have said, it seems like the good times were really nice, but the bad times were like a nuclear warzone. I'm guessing trying to discuss this pattern with her wasn't ever productive either?