LogFAQs > #882306989

It's cute that you're this trusting and a lot of times that's alright. But sometimes when the girlfriend says she's got a gay guy friend she spends A LOT of time with...he's actually bi/pan/llama/whatever and she knows it. That's the point.

Does this guy ever interact with you too?
Would you consider him a friend or acquaintance to you as well?
Obviously he's not going to automatically be a BFF with you like he is with her.
The point is does he ever initiate socializing with you? Has he tried?

Because if the answer's no: red flag.

You're his friend's boyfriend, he should want to try socializing with you at some point because you're a part of her life. If he doesn't and he's had plenty of opportunities being in the same room, that's suspicious. I mean maybe he's just super shy, but I've known even shy guys try to say hi to their friend's SO at least once to break ice. And the girlfriend should be doing her part trying to get you guys to chat anyway to make sure these parts of her life are compatible. If she doesn't make a couple attempts...that's strange. Women want to make pieces fit. If they're not trying, something's up.

I'm a legit gay guy with a bf and female friends. I'm also friends with their boyfriends because they're good guys. I alert them when I catch one of the girls straying (just like I would tell the girls if I saw one of their men cheating). You know why? Because I occasionally chat with the boyfriends too. We're on good terms, we interact. You get what I'm saying?

If this dude doesn't interact with you at all or at least invite you along to hang out as her bf once in a while and only wants to spend time with her



Now a red flag doesn't absolutely mean the worst is happening. It's just a sign to check on. A lot of the situation could be nothing more than coincidence. Maybe the guy really is gay and they're just friends. If he's already friendly with you, that sounds good. But do your job as the boyfriend and get to know her friends at least on a basic level so you get some of those lingering questions answered without having to start an argument. Get some interaction in there, be sociable. That is your job if you want relationship security, do it. The possibility of making friends with them too is just a bonus. You should be able to do all of that without making drama or pissing off the gf. 2 birds, 1 stone. That's what you have to get in the habit of doing if you want to keep a relationship running.

I got my own work cut out for me sometimes keeping guy whores away from my man and fidelity is a challenge as is among gay men. I know wtf I'm talking about. We're going on 3.5 years living together without an open relationship. For gay men living near a city in the US, that's impressive. You don't get that by avoiding your SO's social circle. You dive into it. You have to.
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Bite me like one of your French rolls.
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