LogFAQs > #881456734

LookANinja posted...

The Deadpool posted...

LookANinja posted...

I'm trying to assess how best to approach the situation. I have an idea that is somewhat morally questionable.
I'm thinking of telling her that i feel like she still gets very sexually charged when watching movies with attractive actors (which is kinda true), yet it never gets redirected towards me. As though she feels more sexual attraction towards others rather than me (which we know to be true, but she doesn't know that we know). Then follow up with asking her if this is the case to tell me how i can remedy the situation.

I feel like she either lies and says "no, i'm only attracted to you!" or she will be honest and say tell me what i can do to improve.

Though she's not exactly the greatest in the sack either.

Sounds like you're just unhappy and are looking for an excuse to break up...

Either deal with not being the hottest guy your girl will ever see, or dump her and keep going through this shit for the rest of your life.

I mean I definitely see your point. And I've been doing a lot of introspection lately to try to be open. I just feel like it's weird if we're watching wonder woman and she sees Chris pine and is like "Omg he's so hot, he gets me so turned on and I just want to sit on his face." then we get back from the movies and she's not feeling anything at all anymore.

Tell me if I'm honestly just being crazy.

That's two different things altogether:

Don't bring up the fact she's attracted to other guys and that it bothers you. That's pointless. The problem there is on your end: she's going to be attracted to other guys. As long as doesn't act on it, any problems you have are on your own. Any solutions will have to come from you. You can't even ask her not to flaunt it in your face since you will just break into her phone and read it anyways...

The other problem is a stagnant or boring sex life and that's something that you both need to work on. You can try changing the routine to spice things up, but you can also just sit down and talk to her about it. Don't bring up the other shit at all.

If you're going to have that talk, a few common pitfalls to avoid a bigger argument:

This isn't a you or her problem. It's both of you. Your probably bother causing it and you're probably bothe suffering from it. Remember that with how you word your sentences.

Try to avoid making accusations, even accidentally. "It's like you don't even want me anymore" is far more likely to start argument, or merely be taken the wrong way, then "I'm not exactly feeling wanted sometimes" is, despite meaning functionally the same thing.

The last thing you want is for her to go on the defensive. You don't want her to fix this problem, you want her to help you fix it. Present your grievances, sure, but ask her about hers too.

Sexual compatibility is a serious thing. Sometimes two people get along great and the sex just doesn't work out. Sometimes the sex is great but people don't get along. I don't know you two, but understand that while this may just be a hurdle, it can also be a wall. It's not a pretty thought, but reality rarely is.

Not saying you shouldn't try and fix shit, but be realistic about it. No harm, no foul.
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