LogFAQs > #881340726

MariaTaylor posted...

maybe it just goes back to them wanting to make themselves look good rather than trying to be nice. like, they don't want to be seen negatively as a person who rejected me. but, then again, I think way more negatively of a person who just lied to me. so yeah. either way the whole thing is weird and makes no sense from my perspective.

It's because there are some people who feel like they have obligation to be accommodating towards others, and that they'll be perceived as rude unless they can establish a legitimate excuse. It's like a peer pressure thing which is felt by some people regardless of who the other person is, what interactions they've had, or what the event is.

It's not an entirely baseless belief either--I had friends as a kid who would basically straight up call me an asshole to my face if I ever just said I didn't want to hang out with them and so they basically trained me into doing this. I'd long since realised they were the ones in the wrong here, but the habit was still pretty deeply ingrained in my psyche and I've only been able to kick it in the last 2-3 years if at all.

Edit: I guess a good way to say it is it's less about being nice and moreso a self defense mechanism. It's as if you actually can't reject a date or whatever unless you do it like this. And I mean it sounds stupid when you put it like that but psychology is a real thing.
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