LogFAQs > #880751286

Interesting story. It reminds me of how this morning, I was on the train with my mom to go into the city. My mom promised me if I went to the city to help her carry her bags she'd take me to Red Mango, and while I do not care for frozen yogurt, I figured I would just fill up a cup with the cookie dough bites and bleed that bitch dry.

Anyway, as I was sitting on the train and leafing through the pages of my manga, I noticed a familiar face, wearing a suit, walk by and sit down a few rows behind me. My mom caught my gaze and asked me who that was.

I explained that his name was Frank Chang and he was my Chinese bully in high school. He would give me swirlies whenever I was in the bathroom stalls (frequently laughing at how I had to pull my pants all the way down to pee), flushies when I was at the urinal (basically flushing the urinal while I was in mid stream, causing water to rush in and splash all over my pants), and slushies when I wasn't even in the bathroom (basically saving toilet water in a mason jar to splash all over me whenever he noticed I got an involuntary boner in gym class).

My mom said that I should go talk to him. I said "bitch, are you trippin?" but she explained that perhaps things had changed in the 15 years since 10th grade and that he seemed like a fully functional adult.

After a while of arguing (and after my mom confiscated my manga), I got up, wiped my sweaty hands on my kimono, and moved to the back of the train car.

"Hi Frank," I said nervous. Frank scrunched up his face, said hello, and gave me that "do I know you" look. "It's me, Toby, from high school," I said. "Oh, hey Toby," Frank responded. "How are you? How has your year been?"

I told him everything was going pretty well. I had been writing a lot of fanfiction, I have been trying to eat better, my son died, and I recently purchased a PS4.

Frank told me things were going well for him too. He had recently gotten married and his wife was pregnant with their first child. He mentioned that they had moved to a nice house in the suburbs, where he commutes to his job at an investment bank in the city, and were enjoying a normal, quiet life.

As many of you know, I am a huge amiibo collector, and I knew what he was trying to do and I wouldn't let Frank bully me again like he did 15 years ago. I reached under my kimono to pull out my tanto when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Please, do not spill blood on this train," the voice said. "Allow me to act instead; I'm FINNa take down some bullies." I then saw a fist slam into Frank's face, and Frank slumped forward, his head crashing into the seat in front of him. His body twitched a little and then didn't move.

I turned around to thank my new friend and found out it was none other than actor John "Star War" Boyega!

Before I could open my mouth to thank him, John "Star War" Boyega said "there is nuFINN I hate more than bullies. As a young actor in my prime, I take great pleasure in policing the trains of the Northeast with my fist. Seeing you stand up to this cruel man has inspired me to take action in my own life. I am going to quit acting to realize my true passion: working part time at Home Depot while attending community college night courses so I can eventually become a medical assistant."

John "Star War" Boyega bowed to me, gave me a kiss on a cheek, and handed me an envelope. "In this envelope is a $25 Gift Card to Best Buy," he stated. "Use it wisely."

Like that, he was gone, and I went back to my seat. I reached into my satchel and pulled out a breadsticks sandwich. Taking a bite, I thought to myself "what a nice man." The train pulled up to our stop and as I was getting off, I threw the gift card into the trash. Best Buy is for plebes anyway.