I pulled into her apartment, and I saw her walk out looking for me. I'm about 60 feet from her. Immediately, I'd say she was probably nearing 200lbs at 5'1". Now, I've met up with a few girls from Tinder before. It's not unusual for them to be fatter than they are in their photos; I'm pretty lenient about that sort of thing. This was too much.
As I walked closer, things I saw just got worse, and worse. She was cross-eyed, had some sort of limp, and had a slight southern accent. Pimples covered her cheeks: not the red kind, but the chunky kind that can get almost an eighth inch of height off the face. This girl was just gross. I want to turn around at this point, but I can't do that. It just feels wrong.
So, I end up taking her for Chinese food. She very loudly starts saying the most and embarrassing things about Chinese stereotypes (involving chopsticks, and cats). She is dumb as a sack of rocks, and it's kind of hard to describe because of how vapid and forgettable everything she said was. She couldn't understand the words I was using (like "consequent" and "origin"), and would laugh at things like dropping a piece of food off the table, or employees speaking Chinese to each other.
I take her back to her apartment, and she asks me to come inside. I do it because it would be more interesting than the alternative, and I figure I might as well make things as awful as possible for myself. There's garbage everywhere. Every piece of fabric in the entire unit is stained with God-knows-what. It looks like an episode of Hoarders. Around her room, she strangely has photos of herself everywhere. Some of the photos were the ones she had used in her Tinder bio, 1 framed, labeled, "2014." So now we're in the "Netflix" stage of "Netflix and Chill." We're watching some show as I sit on her bed, having an existential crisis, wondering how the fuck I ended up here. I'm a pretty good looking guy. I'm tall. I'm funny. I'm smart. I'm better than this. I am better than this. Why? Why does everything have to be so hard? She starts making uncouth remarks about sex, we sit awkwardly, as she waits for me to make a move on her. Neither of us say anything for over 5 minutes, I'm trying to think of somehow to finagle my way out of there. I just say, "...I'm sorry to be weird, but I think I should get out of here." She seems perfectly fine with it, happy almost. She thanks me for dinner, and I leave. That's when I made my last post, sitting in my car just before leaving for home.
On the drive home, she texted me 7 times, and called me 3 times. She was asking me to tell her "what she did wrong," and if I was okay. One of her texts said, "When you put your arm around me I could feel tingles down my spine I really want to see you again." I hate to ghost someone, but God Almighty. I had to take a shower I felt so dirty from being in that apartment.
This happened, I swear to you. I did not make anything up. I did not exaggerate anything. I lost my evening, about $25 on dinner, some gas from my tank, and some hope. I'm going to bed, alone (thank God).
I love the way you write. No offense but I hope you go on more horrible tinder dates so I can read about them.