LogFAQs > #874488134

TL:DR I've been off work since the end of January on medical leave due to sleep and heart issues, going broke not working, doctors suggest extending leave due to complications, not sure work will let me, not sure can afford it, freaking out tremendously over it.

So there's a possibility I might need some more serious treatment or surgery related to medical stuff. I won't know until I get some additional tests done. It's weird how the body is so intertwined and connected in every way if you really think about it.

Last year, I went to the Doctors as the back pain I'd been experiencing for most of my life was bordering on unbearable. I was sent for x-rays and was not contacted because my family doctor was a joke. A couple months later my back was still killing me so I decided to call, and was informed they'd spotted something on my x-ray and I was being referred to an internist. They never even bothered to contact me.

So I got that scheduled and underwent a series of tests. What they'd spotted is I suffered from a pretty serious cardiomyopathy. I was told to adhere to a strict low sodium diet, exercise, and to avoid high stress environments. As some of you know, I work in a contact center selling internet services. It's a pretty high stress and tenuous environment. The hours are long and it doesn't allow for much free time. My diet and exercise started lagging behind and being neglected after the first couple of weeks, I just felt strapped for time and I've never been great at keeping things in balance when faced with stress, my mind just doesn't handle it well.

Things got worse. The holiday season wore a heavy toll on me as things were incredibly hectic, I stopped really sleeping. Near the end of December and for the first three weeks of January I was sleeping on average 2 to 3 hours a night, and that was heavily interrupted as I woke up constantly. I tried taking melatonin but it didn't help. It got to the point where I was having difficulty remaining conscious during day-to-day tasks. I used my sick days and most of my vacation for the year in mid-January while trying to get in to see my Doctor. After he refused to do anything whatsoever to help me, I effectively had enough of that s*** and switched doctors to one roughly an hour away. I also took a leave of absence from work, which effectively started on January 27th.

The new doctor was good. I finally got a referral put through for a sleep study, new x-rays and ultrasounds were being done for my back, and I was prescribed something for sleep. The sleeping pill worked, and it took my body a long while to adjust to it. It just leaves me exhausted, I know I'm sleeping but it's as if I didn't actually rest. But it saw improvement. I had to extend my leave in February as I was driving an hour for various tests a few days a week, which my employer wasn't willing to schedule around.

My leave is scheduled to end on March 8th, but from a call I just got from my new Doctor it seems they think sleep apnea is causing complications with my gigantic heart. In the meantime, he wanted me to avoid any serious stress. Which is the sort of the definition and entire basis of my job.

Being off work has put a serious strain on my finances, I'm not bringing in enough to cover bills and if I was to extend my leave again I don't know if I could continue to afford, you know, being alive. I'm not even sure my work would let me extend it again or would just fire me. The worry over all of these things is causing me quite a lot of stress and my mood has zeroed out. I feel worthless. I haven't been able to do anything for months, and it could end up longer. I have no f***ing clue what to do. I'm honestly freaking out. I don't know what to do. I don't know what would be best. I'm at a complete loss.

Yeah. Sorry. I just really needed to vent.
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