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Snowball Fight #Selphie's Age - Selphie Tilmitt

Ritz drove off from the Smiffficia graveyard where she had just visited gravestone #24. She had heard rumours that her previous victim had survived, but after digging up the grave and further desecrating the corpse, she was satisfied with the results. After all, nobody could have survived such a devastating Reverse Uno.

She flew down the highway in her snazzy as hell pink Corolla while listening to the Inception soundtrack because Hans Zimmer slaps, with the volume cranked and windows down. As "Waiting For A Train" began to play, she saw a Doomtrain crossing in the distance with a young girl, slightly older than she was, standing beside the tracks. Given that Final Fantasy VIII had been on her mind as of late, she immediately recognized this girl as Selphie Tilmitt.

She pulled over on the shoulder and stepped out, wondering why Selphie was standing there by the tracks approximately 37 miles from the nearest food, water, or shelter. She deliberately chose to leave her new wig on the passenger seat, because Selphie might recognize the hair. "Uh, hey! I'm Ritz. Are you uh... okay?" she asked, feigning concern. A girl stranded in the middle of nowhere would make a perfect victim.

"Oh hey! Yeah I'm totally fine! I'm just waiting for a train to come by because I love trains!" replied Selphie. As Waiting For A Train blared in the background, Ritz noted just how fucking meta it was that Selphie had used that particular phrasing. Ritz made a mental note that there were approximately 4 minutes and 25 seconds until the climax of the song. "Doomtrain is supposed to pass by here in exactly 4 minutes and 20 seconds! And omfg is that Waiting For A Train from inception? That's my favorite movie, especially the part with the train! I actually don't watch the rest afterwards because it doesn't have a train." explained Selphie excitedly. Ritz immediately knew she could create a perfect crescendo here.

After a bit of casual conversation, the crossing lights indicating the Doomtrain was approaching began to flash and Ritz heard Hans Zimmer's deep brass horns start to BWOMP BWOMP. She said "I'm really not sorry that I have to do this." Confused, Selphie stood between Ritz and the tracks, and Ritz pulled out a couple of snowballs and began to throw them at her. She threw more of them at an escalating rate, making sure not to throw so hard they'd kill Selphie on the spot. Selphie stumbled back with each snowball, and the intensity of the music grew with each throw. Ritz caught the Doomtrain approaching in the corner of her eye.

As the climax of the song hit, Selphie stepped backwards onto the tracks and the Doomtrain arrived right on time. In a blink and with a thud, Selphie was no more. She had become a victim of both snowballs and that which she loved the most. She would never dream again.

Once the Doomtrain passed, Ritz returned to her unbelievably sickening pink Corolla and continued on her way, changing the song to Dream Is Collapsing in memory of the latest victim.