It has come to our attention that you hit retirement age, and after paying into social security your entire working life, you believe this entitles you to some type of handout. Unfortunately, it seems you're just going to have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. If you need money so bad, why did you "retire"? Answer: Because nobody wants to work anymore. We have submitted an application to Wal-Mart to be a Door Greeter until you die on your behalf. Be sure to check those receipts.
Without regard, The Social Security Administration"