Now this next fanfiction isn't bad, just written by someone who isn't native speaking English and thus he can be hilarious:
"It's all my fault, Minerva. My political opposition is right - I am the old fool who is starting to loose his grasp. I failed again, naively thinking that a simple Fidelius Charm would save Potters from Voldemort..." he said, his usual eye twinkle having a nice vacation somewhere far far away from the British Islands
...
The pair entered without an invitation, audible or silent, taking in their surroundings for a few moments. They took blank-faced fat man by hands and slowly, but surely proceeded to the living room, dragging the resisting fat man with them..
--
"intention doesn't matter? clearly your cashier degree did not require a law course." - ND to Joyrock on the legality of drinking a soda before paying