In a world, where tombooking does not exist. The WWE hires one man they randomly met on the internet, and gave him full control of their entire business.
This is the story of what resulted. Welcome, to Dantebooking.
WWE Raw, live from some place in Illinois!
Preshow: pfft who needs it
Show:
To open up the show, DEAN MALENKO comes to the ring. He informs the wwe universe that he's had enough of this damn company, and he's quitting RIGHT NOW. This is led to many puzzled expressions in the audience, as they all wonder who he is. Just as he begins leaving, he gets a call on his cellular phone. It's Rey Mysterio! He apologizes for being unable to show up tonight, but he agrees with Dean. He's quitting too! (43)
Next, Sheamus walks out. He grabs the microphone and wishes Dean and Rey well on their future endeavors. After all, he is the one who masterminded the plot. You see, WWE never really wronged those two - he just made them think they had! Sheamus never really explains why he decided to make them quit, but the audience ate it up (85)
Then, Jack Swagger does pushups for five straight minutes. Everyone enjoys it. (78)
-Match: Air Boom vs Ziggler/Swagger.
Swagger wrecks shop, mostly at the expense of Evan Bourne. Swagger picks up the win with an ankle lock on Kingston. (66)
After the match, Bourne and Kingston both fight over whose fault the loss was. They decide to break up their tag team :(. (64)
Sheamus then comes out again, making a bold declaration: He was going to walk out of tonight with TWO wwe titles! (81)
-Match: Sheamus vs Ryder vs Ziggler elimination match for the US Title.
Ryder was outclassed and eliminated almost immediately, and Sheamus took out Ziggler not long after. Hail the new US Champion! (61)
Next, we see Alex Riley looking really sad backstage. We're pretty sure he's sad because he's alex riley. (71)
-Match: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan
In a match that was booked solely so the internet fans could enjoy this show, Punk defeated Bryan with the anaconda vice. (82)
After the match, Derrick Bateman runs into the ring for no apparent reason. He grabs a table, and slams himself through it. No one knows why he did it, and quite frankly he wasn't even entertaining doing it. (28)
The camera then moves to Ezekiel Jackson and Michael McGuillicutty plotting backstage. They both see Sheamus as a huge threat, and vow to team up to stop him. (62)
Mason Ryan then comes out, ready for his next match. As he gets into the ring, the lights turn off. When they turn back on, he's a bloody mess in the ring and the perpetrator is nowhere to be seen. (56)
To give workers time to clean the ring, a training montage video of Sheamus is played (86)
-Match: Del Rio vs Sheamus for the WWE Title in a Tables Match
In a stunning feat, Del Rio managed to defeat Sheamu- bahahaha just kidding. Sheamus won handily and now holds the WWE Championship! (67)
After the match and to close the show, Sheamus demands a sacrifice. Jinder Mahal is dragged out, and Sheamus grabs a razor. He then shaves him bald. (68)
post show: who needs it
Overall: 63, excellent considering derrick bateman literally pulled a 28!
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boring and mundane signature congratulating SuperNiceDog
Now with more bold! Less Italics due to bold