Oh god will I really have to watch Rikishi try to climb a cage. Why is Val's hair so short.
Steel Cage match: Rikishi vs. Val Venis
Rikishi's already trying to climb out and he's moving so slow. Val wants to go out the door so Rikishi stops climbing. Oh, now Rikishi wants the door and he's stopped.
A couple hard shots and Val is down in the corner. He hits a low blow to stop the stinkface. Big clothesline and somehow Rikishi spins way around on his way down.
Val apparently sucks at climbing too. So he walks the rope to drop an elbow.
Now Val gets caught on top of the cage and Rikishi pulls him back in. Lawler says if Val were to drop from all the way up, he'd end up in a hospital. Val's no Daniel Bryan.
The door's open, wait now it's not. Val's face is bleeding and he rolls 15 feet to end up in the corner to take a butt splash. Now Val does a Flair flop or something.
Banzai and Val's foot on the rope saves him. Rikishi goes for the door and Trish shuts it. Money shot and Rikishi kicks out.
Lita runs out for some reason, she beats up Trish with a belt. Wonder what's going on in the match, haven't seen it in a minute. Oh, val is climbing out.
Val gets caught and thrown down again, he falls on the ref. Rikishi's on the top, he's not gonna jump, is he? Oh my god he splashes down from the top of the cage and he's hurt his knee in the process whoops. But holy crap he actually did it.
Tazz is at ringside, he opens the door and hits Rikishi with a TV camera. There were no refs to see it. Val reaches and gets a cover. Poor Rikishi does his most daring spot and takes a loss in the process.
HHH wants to find Kurt Angle, but runs into Jericho and gets his butt kicked.
Shane is here to call out the great one. Wayne Gretzky? Wait, here comes The Rock. They're wearing matching shirts.
Shane is a cat in slightly different words. This isn't PG! Rock expects Benoit to be under the ring. Oh, he's in Rock's locker room and destroying his things.
Here's a recap of Kurt Angle and Undertaker feuding. Angle just screwed up, but Undertaker is so badass he wants revenge anyway.
Kurt Angle comes out with that novelty sized wrench. Undertaker doesn't even wait for his own music.
Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker
They go straight into the crowd. Taker is killing Angle.
Into the ring, big boot, and Taker's got a cover. But he lifts up, he wants damage. Long suplex.
Another two count and Taker lifts up again. Whoops they catch Taker mouthing an f word.
Angle tries a sleeper but that won't work. Now he's getting crushed in the corner, sidewalk slam.
Taker is mad, he pushes the ref away. Angle grabs that wrench and htis Taker's knee.
Time for some knee holds by Angle. "ANGLE SUCKS" says the crowd. Oh no, chokeslam coming and Angle kicks free. Leglock and some elbow drops to the knee.
Undertaker finally rolls free of the holds. Here's the chokeslam, what a badass. Now he wants to hit "the last ride", oh it's a power bomb. Taker wins.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...