Impact taglines work better when there is actual IMPACT
Pre-show: Kidman asks Shango to hax his Charisma (C); Noir d. Slaugher (D+); Schultz hypes Noir (D-)
-Nixon announces a new CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE for all our talented non-drawing vanilla midget friends. *****es love cruiserweights. Also, the title will be awarded by tournament, and the first match is NOW! It's also a tag match just 'cuz.
Rating: A o_O...and the only person to get the boost is somebody who's already passed the charisma req
-Cruiserweight tournament: Golden Dragons v. Speed Muscle
Speed Muscle continue their run of "almost but not quite" losses, putting over Taka and KENTA in a close one.
Rating: C+
-Priceless and RnR get into an argument about who the bigger losers were.
Rating: C-
-Match: Wild Samoans squashed Hart Dynasty
Rating: D+
-Styles' Batista-style invoking of his rematch clause is interrupted by Heath Slater, who is even more proud of himself than usual after dispatching RnR last Sunday. Slater thinks this show should be about him, so they agree to a six-man tag tonight.
Rating: C+
-Match: Tajiri and Omega v. Sabu and Awesome
Awesome proves he's not out of the US Title hunt yet with a big tag win.
Rating: B-
-Truth and Abyss get into an argument backstage over the finish Sunday, and it devolves into a brawl.
Rating: B-
-Match: Cabana d. Morrison
Rating: B
-Guerrero has a fiesta in the ring to celebrate his reign as the first-ever three-time NLW Champion!
Rating: B-
-Match: Styles/Strike Force v. Guerrero/Following
In an obvious attempt to bump Strike Force back down to upper midcard, the heels roll.
Rating: B
Post-show: Dire Wolves d. Riggs/Cor Von (D+); guess I forgot to book an angle here "oh well"
Overall: B- SUCCESS lol angles, Doi overused
Rating: 2.92
--
~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
(aka not Krakenprophet)