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TopicStorm of Swords readthrough topic (spoilers up to where I've read)
LordoftheMorons
06/13/12 12:37:00 AM
#54:


I assumed Arstan was just a new character. In retrospect yeah the names are similar, but I think it's pretty easy to miss if you weren't expecting him to be someone important.

Sansa: The aforementioned suggestion that the Queen of Thorns was the killer came up. Marillion, the cowardly singer that accompanied Catelyn to the Eyrie in book 1, tries to have his way with "Alayne," but Lothor Brune comes to the rescue. Then it turns out that Lysa is still CRAZY (she even yells out "my precious" during sex for f***'s sake), and wants Sansa to marry her developmentally challenged cousin. She also is under the impression that Petyr is her true love and totally not doing this because he sees something in it for himself. Riiigghhhttt.

Jon: Jon and co destroy a turtle. Yay. Then he comes down to sleep only to be woken up and taken to our two favorite douchebag Black Brothers, Alliser Thorne and Janos Slynt, who I am disappointed to see is in some position of authority. Janos "jowls" Slynt has the gall to suggest that Jon is a traitor (look in a mirror pal), and decides to hang him, despite the fact that there are ~30000 goddamn wildlings at the gates. SMART MOVE THERE. Prediction: Ghost will come back and kill Janos, and maybe wound Thorne or something. No way is Jon dying here, that would be way too lame.

Tyrion: Shae's a traitor too! I'm actually pretty surprised, I did buy her actually liking Tyrion, as I thought the point was him being so damaged that he could never believe someone would love him for who he was. But she was just after his money after all! After that Tyrion has another "confession" remarkably similar to his Eyrie confession, and chooses Prince Oberyn Martell as his champion.

"You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children." Oberyn Martell starts off by informing The Mountain of who he is, and says he will have a confession before he kills Gregor. "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children." The Dornishman cannot be touched, and soon Gregor starts to get angered by the constant accusations. "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children." He also starts to slow, and before long The Red Viper has pinned him to the ground with multiple grave wounds, and comes in for the kill. "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children." Alas, they don't call him The Mountain for nothing... he informs Oberyn that he got the order wrong, and proceeds to smash him to oblivion. "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children.... and killed her brother too."

I have to say I was expecting Oberyn to win this one; he seemed like a character that would be around for a while. I have no idea how Tyrion's going to get out of this.

Dany: Meereen is captured. Yay. We finally hear that Dany's conquest is not all sugar and rainbows; a new monster is ruling Astapor and enslaving the old ruling class, and Yunkai is readying for revenge. Dany forgives Selmy, but is so angered by Jorah's refusal to beg for forgiveness (having the gall to try to explain his actions instead I guess), as well as the fact that he was talking to Varys as late as their visit to Qarth, that she exiles him. I'm sure Jorah will be back, but whether it'll be in a chapter or a book or two I can't say. Maybe he'll go to The Wall like his dad wanted.

--
No I'm not a damn furry. Looney Tunes are different. - Guiga
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