Lurker > No_U_L7

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thinking about becoming a stand up comic (sample joke bit inside)
No_U_L71712/31 6:04pm
in 24, how does jack bauer stay awake for 24 hrs straight?
No_U_L7612/31 11:06am
taylor swift netflix special reputation tour official topic
No_U_L7512/31 9:22am
If millennials ruin porn, that would be the last straw for me
No_U_L7612/30 8:20pm
i just noticed scratch marks on the outside of my front door
No_U_L7312/30 3:34am
i love how whenever i talk about watches the response is ''just use your phone!'
No_U_L71012/29 11:05pm
why do guys always get mad at me when i make out with their girlfriends?
No_U_L7112/29 6:29pm
i'm a washed up pick up artist
No_U_L7712/29 8:03am
i saw nba superstar tobias harris at the club tonight
No_U_L7112/29 5:39am
girl: btw they're real me: but are they spectacular
No_U_L71212/27 11:57pm
i love that moment when a girl sticks her chest out to indicate she wants you to
No_U_L7712/27 9:27am
this 919 has the most depressing insta
No_U_L7612/26 11:55pm
my family is trying to guilt trip me about not going to my cousin's christmas
No_U_L7112/26 5:49am
girl: ''if you've ever jerked off to me, you owe me a christmas present!''
No_U_L7412/26 3:23am
why do nerds on reddit like to downvote so much? lost 140 karma on 1 thread
No_U_L71012/24 10:10pm
wrapping presents is such a dumb fuck tradition
No_U_L7512/24 3:36am
i have such an amazing girl story to share with you guys
No_U_L7212/23 12:21am
my friend's girlfriend and kid caught him jerking off in the car
No_U_L7612/21 10:36am
lana rhodes or jessa rhodes, who do you think is hotter?
No_U_L7212/21 3:32am
my market value is $51 an hour
No_U_L7312/20 4:42pm
would you bang a 2 if it meant you got to bang an 8 afterwards?
No_U_L7512/18 7:33am
ran into girl on her way to volleyball match, told her i'm pulling for her
No_U_L7912/15 5:30pm
when are barry and caitlin totally gonna bone? flash spoilers
No_U_L71912/13 8:56pm
your driving and see a 919 trying to hitch hike...do you pull over and pick her
No_U_L71712/13 6:50pm
have you ever thrown up on a girl when you were about to bang?
No_U_L7312/13 6:41pm
how can i stop all these spam calls? i get like 5 a day
No_U_L7412/13 5:59pm
If I feel a tickle in the back of my throat should I skip gym?
No_U_L71312/13 4:42pm
hot girl memes are the worst
No_U_L7612/12 5:23pm
pick up artist pro tip #92: how to avoid the friendzone
No_U_L7612/12 3:43pm
my friend is trying to tell me that foreskin reduces the chances of getting STDs
No_U_L7912/11 11:53pm
wait, steve mcqueen is black?
No_U_L7212/11 10:02pm
what does it mean if i bang a girl, go to the bathroom and she's gone when i get
No_U_L71212/11 6:28am
sucks that i can't eat on dates because i get ridiculously bloated
No_U_L7312/09 8:55pm
how can i get better at poker?
No_U_L71112/09 8:35am
Last night I went to a sorority house got drunk made out with a sorority girl
No_U_L71012/08 3:29pm
it's ok for a vegan to try to convert me but if i try to convert a vegan, it is
No_U_L7912/07 5:55pm
when you realize you've been walking around all day with tooth paste on your shi
No_U_L7312/07 3:10am
that feel when after strip club you're covered in glitter and smell like girls
No_U_L7812/07 1:17am
once meat this stripper who's implants literally felt like bags of sand
No_U_L71612/06 9:33pm
i've won sports gambling every night the last 2 wks, made 5k
No_U_L7312/06 12:02am
if a girl is constantly calling me fuckface, she wants the D right?
No_U_L71312/04 5:53pm
I had a date planned...then I flaked on it
No_U_L7912/04 11:07am
i spend $30 a day on eating out, is that a lot?
No_U_L71412/03 4:17pm
how do i deal with a girl's racist friend?
No_U_L71412/03 4:02pm
sucks not being able to eat at restaurants because an ex-girlfriend works there
No_U_L71712/03 11:52am
''thanks for calling *italian restaurant*, can we put you on hold?'' sure
No_U_L7412/02 9:16pm
''when your best friend's boyfriend takes you to dinner while she's out of town
No_U_L7412/02 6:51pm
i wish CE had upvotes/downvotes like reddit
No_U_L71512/02 1:40pm
ugh just got a phone call that said "7 days" and then they hung up
No_U_L71312/01 9:57pm
i don't understand people that order eggs at restaurants
No_U_L7812/01 6:53pm
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