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It's Saturday tomorrow; don't order delivery before noon.
Philoktetes202/08 11:38am
has anyone else mostly stopped using deodorant bcs they heard it will kill them?
Philoktetes502/07 5:57pm
was I the only one who thought Harry Potter's scar was a capital N
Philoktetes402/07 8:58am
Public schools are indoctrinating are children to believe in fairness
Philoktetes902/07 8:17am
a millennial job interview
Philoktetes302/07 7:50am
Iraq before and after US intervention
Philoktetes1102/06 12:26pm
Ran my car over a concrete parking block
Philoktetes1202/06 9:06am
My mother believes all weather events in a 400km radius affect me.
Philoktetes402/06 7:46am
Do you pull ahead at the drive-through when asked?
Philoktetes902/06 6:15am
times medical professionals were rude to you
Philoktetes502/05 6:14pm
This meme pwns socialists
Philoktetes802/03 12:01am
like most CEmen, I've been struggling with lifelong depression
Philoktetes402/02 10:56pm
im working on improving my sense of humor
Philoktetes202/02 6:38am
Daria ruined female millennials.
Philoktetes7201/28 8:20pm
would you eat this tater tot hotdish
Philoktetes501/28 6:14am
Last week, I decided to visit my favorite Mexican restaurant on my lunch break.
Philoktetes301/27 5:12pm
When people say there's no practical use for alexa
Philoktetes401/26 6:56pm
somebody vandalized the butt ugly martians wiki
Philoktetes1401/24 8:42pm
I just drank a fifth of vodka
Philoktetes101/22 11:04pm
microwave for 2 minutes, peel back film and stir, then microwave 1 more minute
Philoktetes1301/22 10:36am
The Death Egg Zone theme from Sonic 2 is longer than you think
Philoktetes301/22 3:36am
In some parts of Africa they still play PlayStation 1
Philoktetes1401/21 7:38pm
Los Angeles has waited so long to be in the superbowl
Philoktetes1801/21 4:59pm
dead batteries bounce
Philoktetes101/18 11:55pm
is being called "sweet" by a female an automatic friendzone?
Philoktetes1601/18 2:22am
I had an awkward meeting with my faculty adviser at school
Philoktetes201/17 10:44pm
did you hear about that kid who won the daytona 500?
Philoktetes401/17 2:04pm
I lost a potential girlfriend by showing her and her roommates 'Airplane'
Philoktetes2001/16 10:46pm
why millennials can't into social interaction
Philoktetes601/16 6:32pm
Why do CEmen get so mad about drunk driving
Philoktetes1701/16 3:44pm
I hate when there's a boomer ahead of me at the Coca cola freestyle machine.
Philoktetes301/16 3:01pm
Calvin discovers his mom's secret
Philoktetes201/15 10:50pm
I set up a booby trap in case anyone tries to enter my house
Philoktetes1101/15 9:51pm
would you pirate a bike
Philoktetes101/15 9:47pm
Donald Trump is rescuing are children from Michelle Obama's school lunches
Philoktetes1101/15 4:21pm
New York school urges students to stop wearing, and losing, $350 beanies
Philoktetes1501/15 10:19am
Remember when The Simpsons was funny?
Philoktetes2901/15 6:11am
How often do you shower?
Philoktetes901/14 9:53pm
My family is threatening to cut off contact with me because I had a heart attack
Philoktetes1001/14 1:46pm
At the club last night I did fortnite dance and then a chick started grinding me
Philoktetes1101/13 6:52pm
Would you do the jalapeno challenge?
Philoktetes2801/11 8:41pm
Did you know that one 18 inch za has more za than two 12 inch zas
Philoktetes1401/10 1:15am
why don't TVs have picture in picture anymore
Philoktetes101/09 9:00pm
health care isn't a right
Philoktetes10101/08 3:52pm
lmao this diss track PWNS the beatles
Philoktetes101/07 1:01pm
would you eat this za
Philoktetes1301/06 10:41am
Millennials are killing Sears
Philoktetes5701/06 10:27am
How about charging a toll at the border to pay for a fence?
Philoktetes201/06 6:07am
i want to start perfecting a 3 ingredient chili
Philoktetes501/04 4:27pm
would you eat this chicago style za
Philoktetes2401/04 2:46pm
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