Lurker > User728

StartTheMachine posted...

Will you drunkenly dance to 70s music after someone's 80th birthday party

Already do

MZero posted...

Wow you're 70?

Divide it in half.

Xeybozn posted...

Is this why your job gave you a $20k bonus?

That is the reason why. They were only going to give me $3k but then they found out I dance to 80s music in the bathroom for my dogs after getting drunk at a 70th birthday party and they decided to give me a larger bonus.

I danced for them to Heart and Pat Benetar. Im also currently drunk from Macallan at a 70th birthday party. One of my 2 dogs is licking my lips, nose, and eyelid as I write this post. Thank you for reading this post.

VintageGin posted...

Did they pay it all out at once? I feel like companies usually pay bonuses like that out quarterly to avoid high turnover all at once when people get their yearly bonus

At once. I was pleased and i utilized no poker face in front of my superior officer.

RikkuAlmighty posted...

Wait who was the guy that bailed on paying everyone actual cash several years ago?

Dont know but I hope it was me.

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

Can I get $40?

40 doll hairs?

Aecioo posted...

Yeah, they're not worth nothing. You could probably sell them to a doll company and get maybe $40,000 for them.

This is a straight up lie. Mods!!

banananor posted...

that's cool. is it more than they usually give you?

Ive been there for 6 months. Ill find out next year I guess. But my prior job paid me $85k base and a $2k bonus which pissed me off. Here Im getting $140k base and got a $20k bonus. I am bragging. Dont care. DONT CARE!

ninkendo posted...

My job just gave me a pizza bonus

I mostly cut carbs out of my life. However, if this is thin crust, perhaps even cauliflower crust, spicy sauce (ex: fra diavolo sauce), perhaps some onions and/or peppers on top, Ill buy it from you for a few thousand. A few thousand what you ask? I dont know. I need to poop. Ill let you know when Im finished. But I take very long poops so stay tuned.

masterplum posted...

Is this a sad brag topic?

Its a happy brag topic.

Peace___Frog posted...

Does your bonus enjoy being given to you?

It loves me very much. Were besties.

wallmasterz posted...

TC is dividing it evenly among the first 8 posters besides himself thats why he mentioned it

Im dividing 20k doll hairs

SwiftyDC posted...

Thats it?

Thats it!

RikkuAlmighty posted...

Time machine

Indeed

$20ktime to buy a hot tub

My job just gave me a $20k bonus

Paratroopa1 posted...

First yes this is absolutely what punching down means, and second of all you don't think a white person shouldn't tread super fucking lightly when telling a joke about a black person? I'm definitely not saying you can't tell jokes about other people, but you can't do it with a lack of awareness of your position versus the person you're telling the joke about. Chris Rock did not tread lightly. This joke should not have come out of his mouth.

Even if you feel he shouldnt have told the joke, any sympathy goes out the window when the guy responds with his fist instead of with words.

CasanovaZelos posted...

Why would Will Smith do something that will clearly damage his career as a stunt? Like, his whole career up to this point has been based around a rather clean image.

Heat of the moment. We all have our moments. Were human.

greengravy294 posted...

so, what happened

or does your tummy still hurt

I took a few anti-depressants and asked my wife to rub my tummy. I then tried continuing to binge Babylon 5 but I was exhausted and passed out. My tummy is currently in recovery and I made a healthy poop this morning.

DreamEater12 posted...

Assert dominance in a show of force by crushing 2-5 chips to show the chips on the inside you mean business and will not be held hostage by stomach ache.

This seems like a solid plan tbqh

banananor posted...

well, just make sure you learn your lesson

i'd drink lots of water (hydration is good & it'll dilute the salt) and use over-the-counter ibuprofen.

if it's really that bad, yeah, you can use more aggressive painkillers for sure. just don't forget why you took them and eat more

My head tells me to follow this post.

KommunistKoala posted...

coat some more chips in pepto bismol and get back in there

But my heart tells me to follow this one.

Super Dodgeball, Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle, MM4, Mario 3those all deserved to be there. I have no issue with the original FF either even if it was unremarkable. Ive either not played the others or dont feel they deserve to be here.

Suggestions?