Lurker > Pepys Monster

I had unprotected sex with my female friend and had to buy her Plan B because she didnt tell me she wasnt on birth control. Then she was mad at me. It was expensive.

The_Creep_2020 posted...

Was that all? I thought you used to get drunk and yell at her because she wasnt your (previous) ex?

I did get drunk and say mean things. I hate that I did that. But the next day, I would tell her that I'm sorry and that I love her. We would often go on adventures and have wonderful times. Going to Disneyland together was probably the peak of my life.

She used to say things like Im your wife and I wont ever leave you and you know that. She did leave me for another guy, because I called another girl beautiful. After she left, I fought for her, with no success. I tried various strategies like apologizing, being optimistic that well be okay, telling her how much I love her, telling her we can still be friends, telling her how unfair this was, etc. I pretty much just gave up. I met women who just wanted to use me for my money. Its been over 9 months and shes still with that other guy. I wish that I had devised a winning strategy instead of trying to move on.

https://youtu.be/esFWHBNjaYg

Prisons should be government owned. Privatized prisons care about profit more than justice.

Robot2600 posted...

you wrote this with AI

Considering every last one of those "written by AI" stories are fake...no.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Which is why people should unionize, so that they can protect themselves and each other from bullshit like that.

Amazon workers trying to unionize against Jeff Bezos/Andy Jassy (Take your pick).

https://youtu.be/Dt_g8ieMTd0?t=115

I still have mine.

XxKrazyChaosxX posted...

You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!

The shelter put him down, so Brad can't.

Imagine working hard for Amazon your whole life, until you're old and slow, and your boss is like "Pick up the pace, or you're getting fired!"

Peanut the Dog

Heartbroken from his girlfriend leaving him, Brad got a dog from the shelter. He was a fluffy orange and white Australian Shepherd, and his name was Peanut. When Brad would get home from work, Peanut would jump up and kiss his hand, or give him a hug. Brad wasn't so sad anymore.

Brad began dating a woman named Megan. Three months later, she said he had to get rid of his dog so she could move in with her two cats. Conflicted, Brad brought the dog back to the shelter. Peanut became depressed and ate little. Nobody adopted him. The loyal creature, who never betrayed Brad, always held out hope he would return.

One day, Brad woke up and Megan was gone. She left no note. No texts. No explanation. She wouldn't return his calls. Brad fell deep into depression again. He called the shelter, but they informed him that Peanut was put down. He looked at a picture of him with Peanut on the front lawn. They both looked so happy. He broke down and cried.

The End

I've made $40K+ from crypto...but I've yet to cash out the Big Portfolio.

KogaSteelfang posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/5/7/AAOK_sAADbNB.jpg

lol

Yes, but you're probably picky like me.

How many women have messaged me first on Tinder, and never got a reply? A lot. How many did I talk to when I was drunk, and never talked to again the next day? A lot. How many did I pursue with 100% effort, all year long? Like 3.

Confirm.

No, I don't use ad hominem attacks.

https://youtu.be/cv84Ki8H2Q4?t=84

Can Biden just...do something? Sign an executive order. Organize a protest outside the Supreme Court. I don't know. What are his speech clips on TikTok supposed to do?

DespondentDeity posted...

How much are you eating now? Can you log for like three days and post it? Calories, protein, fat, carbohydrates will all be useful to know. How much water do you drink per day? Do you regularly drink alcohol or do other drugs?

Whats your goal weight?

So...I don't know most of that stuff. I could attempt to log my food. I drink many glasses of water throughout the day. I have regularly drank alcohol for the last year. My goal weight is 170 lbs.

DespondentDeity posted...

You dont eat enough, which you need to do in order to be able to train with progressive overload.

How much do I need to eat?

I really dropped the ball somewhere. Before COVID-19, I was doing great in the gym. Then it kept shutting down. Then it re-opened and stayed open. But it was never the same.

I'm 5'9" and 152.3 lbs. I've been going to the gym for over a year...I bench press 115 for reps.

This guy is probably an alcoholic who regularly takes morning whiskey shots, went overboard one morning, and said "Damn, I can't call out again! I'll lose my job."

I dont get it.

She was talking about me. Lol

coolguyjimmy posted...

I don't want to be immortal through my works, or progeny. I want to be immortal through not dying.

I think it would be pretty cool to be a vampire.

Having children is the only way to live on. Pretty depressing to think about.

I thought the Democrat mascot was the donkey.

K181 posted...

https://youtu.be/TJf9Pf9rjO4

When a mod has to moderate another mod.

K181 posted...

Whats your point? A lot of targets for you?

It would be a civilian victory.

K181 posted...

The purpose of the second amendment is to give citizens the means to overthrow the government if enough people deem its become too tyrannical.

Until we as a society recognize that thats a ridiculous sentence, were not changing anything.

What's ridiculous about that? American population: 329.5 million.

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

EvilResident posted...

So did you ever get your $

Why would these apps give away money due to the pandemic?

She said "They giveaway money due to the pandemic so I was just wondering if you have gotten yours yet ?"

I guess she got hacked. Weird.

We're afraid to say "I love you" first because some girls will stop seeing us

Note to mods: I'm attempting to tackle this question.

Would it be Trans-Exclusionary Men Going Their Own Way? Or TEMGTOW. I'm sure guys like that exist.

She asked "You got Cashapp or Zelle?" I asked why. She hasn't replied.

MrWizardWorld posted...

Happy. Who the fuck is happy? Happiness is overrated. Just keep walking lifes path and not give a fuck.

I will. The girl I'm currently sleeping with his not actually making me happy. But I'm getting laid.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

You're the coolest dude ever.

PoundGarden posted...

If you haven't already you need to see someone. I recently went on Fluoxetine and feel like a fucking idiot for not doing it sooner, changed my life. It won't go away by itself.

This is all I need.

https://youtu.be/xJ48UqknGHQ

BearlyWilling posted...

oh yeah, I mean, I can see him paying for it but thats the only way here

I've bought her an $80 headset, nails, drinks, etc.

BearlyWilling posted...

Lol imagine thinking anyone believes you

It's okay if you don't believe the sexual things I've done with her.

The_Creep_2020 posted...

I know, right? Hes absolutely adorable.

*blushes*

Xavier_On_High posted...

TC looks precisely as I always imagined he would. No, dreamed he would.

You dream about me?

Mearcstapa posted...

nevermind. Apparently wash sale rule doesn't apply to crypto for some reason. (IRS, please fix))

The IRS is pathetic.

RenescoStCewl posted...

At this point I don't believe anything tc says. Just yesterday he was complaining about being in love with his ex and how he'll never get over her. Now he's paying this chick for sex.

I'm not over my ex, but this girl IS giving me sex.

JordanStout posted...

I prefer dark skin black women.

thats just my type.

Also I dont really care to throw around money. If she isnt interested in having sex with me then Im good.

Black women are good women.

Axiom posted...

Tbh I had doubts that one pic was real and TC might have been trolling cause who would post that unironically but that is the same dude from the first pic that got memed to hell and back. Lmfao

Yet I'm seeing a hot girl, and you aren't.

Mearcstapa posted...

So in other words, you wash-sale'd yourself?

I gained $870. Therefore, I won.

LincolnDuncan posted...

Yeah, I think you're wrong. Can't say I'm all too interested in the man's body, and I'm bi. It's mostly the dick I'm looking at on the man. That's why Ron Jeremy had a job.

Well...would you want to see the girl in the OP take 7 inches?

I also got 15 kills with the Glock on Plunder, but as we all know, people suck shit at Plunder.