Lurker > LinkFanatic

I wanna be on the receiving end of that, please.

I thought you were talking about the MTG card game at first; I was confused. Now I'm also strangely disappointed that my initial interpretation was incorrect! :(

Yes.

Usually it's innocuous, but when I have intense meltdowns, it becomes way worse. Sort of like Gaara murmuring to himself under his breath when he's inside his sand shell during the battle against Lee in Naruto.

I'm fucked up, and my psych meds ain't helping.

GranolaPanic posted...

Nintendo has deep connections to the Yakuza. By the logic of some posters here, if youve ever bought a Nintendo console or a game then it means that youre complicit in organized crime.

The complicit thing has always just been gaslighting.

hockeybub89 posted...

shit, guess i better start picketing pride events and yelling anti-lgbtq slurs at work, maybe start talking about how i'm a recovering former lgbtq person. apparently i'm as bad as those bigots if i ever buy this one video game. i will never be able to make up for it. i might as well be passing the fascist legislation myself!

except i won't do any of that because this is a ridiculous controversy and it doesn't invalidate my entire fucking existence!

pwned

CRON posted...

Shame is a very important quality to have, regardless of culture.

It is, but not for something as flimsy as a burrito.

Perhaps if the dude killed someone, but this? Who cares? It's just people being xenophobic and you defending xenophobia.

CRON posted...

This is what happens when you don't teach people to have shame. It's objectively a bad thing that he feels comfortable enough to take a picture of something like that and publicize it thinking people will find it quirky.

No it's not. This is just some stupid social norm thing.

There's no objective morality to begin with. It's all culture.

party_animal07 posted...

This is literally a case of get good.

git gud*

I prefer collecting Japanese katanas because I'm a NEET weeblord, but I won't judge you for your choices.

This never happens where I live (Louisiana), so idk.

I'd probably just stay inside if temperatures were ever that cold anyway, because unlike most people, I keep my cock in my pants during the winter. Such a lame season.

bsp77 posted...

Naw, you didn't offend me at all. I just didn't feel like giving a bunch of examples. But I realized I wanted her to notice what I was doing, or what I had done, like multiples times everyday. That is what children do with their mothers. Like, look I cleaned up my toys, aren't you proud of me?

That's a bit more extreme than something I had in mind. I could probably still do something like that no problem, but it's a flaw of mine trying to project that on to other people's experiences. My problem to fix. At the very least, I can see why other people get tired of that.

Didn't know you were so fragile though :P. My brother always says I shouldn't just believe what I see on the outside, and he proves himself right a lot of the time. I'm trying to improve on that as well.

Orochi_ posted...

What is going on between Hogwarts Legacy and JK Rowling that's making people threatening not to buy the game?

Something about Rowling being a transphobe. I haven't looked into it at all.

Kloe_Rinz posted...

because shes purchased non-essential devices that at some point in the development process had input or support from someone somewhere with a bad thought

I honestly don't follow the Rowlings stuff, but if this is all that's going on, then have at it. :)

bsp77 posted...

I know. We have had good discussions. I wasn't attacking. I simply don't think my fiance is petty; she is one of the least petty people I have ever met. I know I can be annoying.

I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable about your financee. I thought the autistic bluntness was worth the risk, but I'm sorry if I overstepped.

I admit, this is a blind spot for me because of my autism. I just can't logically relate to the idea that validating someone is in any way something to be ashamed of or that's taxing.

Maybe I could've phrased it better, though?

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Also just FYI, gunplagirl is complaining about this game, while posting on an electronic device running an operating system that can connect to the internet. So take everything she says with a grain of salt since its extremely hypocritical

I'm not sure that's a particularly prolific burn if you are unable to draw a direct correlation between the two events.

I find people like her obnoxious all the same, but still...

Prison_Mike posted...

that they have to attack users to make themselves feel accomplished.

Guilty as charged. Still, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about being in the same boat as CyricZ. Perhaps a change is in order just so I don't have to live with such knowledge.

bsp77 posted...

i disagree.

Heh. That's fine. But you realize that my belief on this stems from a good place, right? I want a truly egalitarian society; people can be vulgar without the other person immediately getting anxiety or thinking they have ulterior motives. Things like that.

There's obviously nuance, but just like...instinctually, stuff like that shouldn't just immediately send someone running, regardless of you are in their personal hierarchy.

hockeybub89 posted...

i've tried. nature and nurture have locked me in. almost 25 years of undiagnosed autism and a lifetime of severe social anxiety don't just get reversed.

At least you're honest. I'm undiagnosed (but very likely per evaluations of psych professionals at various mental hospitals that I've been to over the years) autisitic myself, with the added "bonus" of having been homeschooled. I was definitely not expecting you to be able to just rewire your brain overnight (or even at all), so I tried to be careful with my terminology.

If you want my honest opinion, most people don't stop carrying about acceptance after they "grow up." Most adults seem to just be children trapped in adult bodies, but really, none of us have any clue what the fuck we're actually doing.

hockeybub89 posted...

you get a lot of anxiety when your brain is telling you: "holy shit, how do people go around being wrong every day? how can anyone disagree with the things i've experienced or tell me what i think or what is right? i'm sharing facts of my life, facts of life in general, and they have opinions on that? they're going to tell me who i am?"

I actively look down on people who are illogical and aren't receptive to changing their own beliefs; at the very least, I'd expect them to adapt to others if they're in a relationship with them. Any relationship.

It's not exactly a brain process I can help, so these days I just avoid friendship and dialogue. I have a few decent friends, but in the end, I would choose being myself and offending them if it meant I get to be me. It hasn't come to that and I don't think it ever will with some of them, but if it does...

Why are they so ch0nky?

Red. Nowadays, I prefer Yellow.

bsp77 posted...

she is not my mother and i shouldn't put her in that situation.

What situation?

bsp77 posted...

i am not going to overly explain the details.

Then I am likely to bow out if you reply again.

Oh wait, is Entropy the guy TC is talking to? Then imo, he's asshole here, regardless of whatever legacy catboy left behind here.

Calling someone a piece of shit is not something that people should be quite so trigger happy about. Myself included. Do better.

GrandConjuraton posted...

i consider myself a misanthrope, too, but... it's because of all of the cruelty that people inflict upon each other and the world at large. as a transwoman, i in particular keenly feel the cruelty when i see all of the hatred spewed at people like me and when i see so many places trying to erase my existence and/or take my rights away. it only adds to the fear that controls my life.

Sorry about your struggles as a trans person. Autism is my big struggle, but I won't compare them 1:1.

bsp77 posted...

when my typically very sweet fiance pointed out that i have this issue and that validating me was tiresome, it really made me think about it.

I've never had my brother tell me this (we're not lovers obviously but he's the closest person in my life for sure. Tied with an online boyfriend I have), but I'm curious if your wife telling you this enacted any sort of change on your part afterward? If so, how did it go?

For me personally, comments like that don't generally help, because they're not telling me something I don't already know; if I thought I could just turn my neediness off, I would. So in the interest of gaining a better self-image, even relative to something, I'm curious how things went for you after that conversation.

I also don't understand why it would be tiring to validate someone. All you have to do is affirm them. Takes no effort. I think your fiancee is being just a little petty unless I'm missing something broader.

MrKapowski posted...

Why are you bringing this shit here

A lot of these people are deeply unhappy, probably. Whether they admit it or not.

Starline posted...

holy shit they booted me lmao

Wonder why that is...

I have no idea what's going on...

I don't think either one of you are helping matters, though.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


CyricZ isn't actually known for high-effort posts.

I'd bet a million dollars these people think they're actually decent folks, too.

Do I have to? No. Do I choose to? Yes.

r/lowselfesteem

I do.

Hey, looks like Bruno still sucks. Poor Bruno.

Ephinea has their own private server. Try that?

Hoodroar posted...

I don't receive any.

I've seen your posts and I agree. If you need validation, I don't mind doing it...but I am making active efforts to avoid CE as much as possible because I'm beginning to know my limits; how long I can be on here before going apeshit.

The_Korey posted...

I was a kid and didn't know the first time. Uncle broke my heart when he explained to me the reason I kan't find my favorite character is because he's dead and all because I didn't wait for him.

Aww, this sounds kind of bittersweet. Like you guys were able to bond but you were like awwwww.

I'm sensitive to small things...

As a little kid in the mid 1990s? Nah. After that though, I always did.

GrandConjuraton posted...

i'm too much of a wreck to search in the outside world, and so i can attempt to comb the internet for what i cannot find in myself.

Ussss*. I've been a NEET for four years and the only reason I'm attempting to climb out of it now is so I can move back to my hometown with my brother. Neither one of us are happy here with his mercurial SO who almost threw us out in November. However, in my case my social anxiety is so bad that I'm limiting it to online work unless I absolutely must attend local jobs. I worked at Walmart for five years from 2011-2016 somehow, but I seriously doubt I could replicate that again today. I'm a different person, and I went in to Walmart (socializing) with innocence, and emerged from it sans innocence. That's the key distinction.

I also have a hard time with people due to being an autistic misanthrope. The environment I'm in so stressful that it's actually worsening my autism (which I believe is a thing in the DSM-5. Look it up if you're curious) because it's constantly pushing me beyond my limits and always keeping me on my toes. That's not going to translate well to a job, especially one that isn't remote. Easy to make grandiose plans to move out, but talk is cheap.

*Is this what the cool kids are saying these days? Hard to keep up at 32. This is what they're saying, right?

GrandConjuraton posted...

in any case, i lived with a very real fear of punishment from my parents if i made any missteps (like getting bad grades or getting in trouble at school)

My dad, aunt, and grandma were some of the most abusive people I've ever seen. Especially my grandmother. The constant gaslighting and denigrating because I dared defend myself from her abuse has created a monster inside of me. Doesn't take much to piss me off, and when that happens, said monster emerges; at times indiscriminately. I'm trying to do better with it because I get the feeling it'll inevitably destroy some of my friendships.

I'm sorry you went through a similar familial environment. Why the fuck people think behaviors like that are acceptable, I have no idea. Like yeah we get it, that's how parents were brought up, but honestly, I don't give a shit. I expect some change and adaptation.

GrandConjuraton posted...

and combined with constant rejection from my peer

Hug? :D

I'd like you to define where you're getting all these statistics, for starters. Then we can go from there to whatever extent I can actually discuss this topic.

I wouldn't even be able to live on my own without others (a form of validation), so yes. My brother provides validation in areas of my life where I am currently unable to, and as long as we're both okay with that, I don't really care.

Nevertheless, there's merit to trying to squirm my way out of my explicit comfort zones. I've been trying to do that with some modest success, but my self-esteem is still rather dimunitive. Consequence of growing up without a supportive family, being sheltered/homeschooled by them, and then relentlessly getting ostracized when I finally segued into socializing; work filled the public school niche, and I was not prepared for it.

And before anyone tries to be cliche ITT, you can't just pull a self-image out of your ass. I think when you're at a certain point, like me and the TC are, other people need to fill some of it for you until you can stand on your own two feet again.

This might go against traditional relationship values, but I'm not obligated to formulate an opinion that results in me being stereotypical or normal, am I?

hockeybub89 posted...

this advice is about 30 years late

Are you saying you can't reverse yourself and at least try taking the advice?

Crimsoness posted...

stop worrying about other people's judgments.

This. People are going to judge no matter which position you take. Let them judge.

super_clout posted...

i learned to separate the art from the artist

This. And nobody is going to gaslight me into rescinding that position.

No. Not for someone like myself anyway.

For you? Who knows? I dunno!

KanWan posted...

Doesnt Carl Jung think its all a bunch of bs terms anyway because people just label themselves whatever instead of within a clinical setting?

I dunno, but a lot of psychological disorders are characterized by how well you fit your particular culture, including sociopathy. I'm not entirely certain if psychopathy is classified the same way, though.

Note that I'm not invalidating psychology. It's a wonderful field that does plenty of help to others. But facts are facts.

bsp77 posted...

Unfortunately, yes. And it's not really healthy. I think some interest in acceptance can be healthy, as it is good to find people who accept you for you. But that acceptance shouldn't involve anxiety or ever being untrue to oneself.

I'd be a little apprehensive of someone who said they didn't care about what anybody thought of them. That seems a little sociopathic, even for me (I don't have a fondness for most of humanity).

But it's entirely possible I'm taking the entire maxim of being yourself too literally again. That's kind of an unintended consequence of being autistic. :)

I think a more reasonable thing is to try to train yourself to only value the opinions of those who are important to you.

epik_fail1 posted...

i have explained it earlier. while introverts might experiment comfort in loneliness, extroverts might overthink while alone and fighting with our own inner dialog(which according to introvert social media pages do not exist if you are extro apparently). being with a group of 5/6 friends shut down the atrocious inner thoughts i have sometimes.

Makes sense. I'm an introvert and definitely battle my inner critic on the daily; but I'm also mentally ill. The really shitty part is when the mental illness supersedes my motivation to do anything other than wallow. So then the inner critic wins and the vicious cycle simply self-perpetuates.

epik_fail1 posted...

i also hate the sound of electricity when i am alone if the tv or some video games or even a fan are not open. but i think it's just me being weird for that one

I don't think this is as uncommon as you're implying. I use Chromecast to blast a greenhouse fan (those 10 hour ones) from YouTube into my room to shield myself from autistic sensory overload, and even my neurotypical brother claims that he's come to like hearing Chromecast reverberating throughout the walls of this trailer.

Plenty of other people that I've encountered also like white noise, autistic or not. They may not be the majority of people, but they definitely exist.

bsp77 posted...

The thing is that for many people, they don't necessarily want to be the center of attention, it is an anxiety induced need for relevancy and validation. Not all extroverts of course, but just saying how anxiety can manifest for them.

Interesting. Do you think a lot of adults value acceptance from their peers more than they say they do? This has been my experience, but it's also possible being a misanthrope is causing an air of projection on my part. I like to be open to broadening my perspectives, so I wanted to see if your experiences have been any different.