Lurker > KokoroAkechi

4
6
3
10

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Wellllll

Ryoko
Class: Gunslinger (Ragnarok Online)
"Shoot first, ask questions when they're dead."

Saveus Maria
Class: Inquisitor (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2)
"I knew you did it even before you did it."

Nick Spence
Class: Monk (Final Fantasy)
"I have two fists and 1000 flasks."

Sess
Class: Paladin (World of Warcraft)
"My sword fights for equality, and smites those against NY sports."

GenesisSaga
Class: Cleric (Advanced Dungeons and Dragons)
"The Power of Christ repels the name Carl."

Mer
Class: Black Mage (Final Fantasy)
"F*** this f***ing s*** with FIRE."

AND EXTRA CHARACTERS

Pun
Class: Illusionist (Advanced Dungeons and Dragons)
"I'll make this headbutt seem like a good thing."

Nia
Class: Bard (RIFT)
"My songs probably hurt the enemy more then it actually helps us."

darkmac
Class: Dark Knight (Final Fantasy)
"I've found an error and the only way to get rid of it is to kill you."

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

i'd say 4 is a few

>.>

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

1st Week Spring Rankings! (This is up to Zetaman episode 2. So Jormungand is not on the list)

Priority
Haiyore! Nyaruko-san (Pokemon master? Gordon Freeman?)
Space Bros (Bros in Space)
Acchi Kocchi (Daigo gets perfected)

Very Good
Is This a Zombie? Of the Dead (Cross Dressing Adventures)
Mysterious Girlfriend X (Drug Saliva)
Fate/Zero 2nd Season (Berserker Ace Combat)
Zetman (Already a time jump)

Good
Kuroko no Basket (How long has this show been here?)
Sengoku Collection (Reverse Zero no Tsukaima)
Medaka Box (How much can Medaka carry the show?)
Upotte!! (Trigger is a little tight)

Chopping Block/Average Shows
Tasogare Otome x Amnesia (I remember you just used this animation 10 minutes ago)
Lupin the Third: Mine Fujiko to Iu Onna (Back a few decades)
Sankarea (I have to see this show naked to measure it's growth)
Folk Tales From Japan (Like do they tell kids these things?)

1st Episode Drops
Accel World (Lost in an alternate reality)
Natsuiro Kiseki (I'd need magic rocks to think this show was any good)

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

psych is on

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

8

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

From: th3l3fty | #357
so you acknowledge the flaws and shortcomings in your own story, but you still think it was the best huh

Don't give me that especially when you don't harp on saveus maria for putting his in first without any self criticism on himself at all.

Also, even I don't really think mine was the best, I really do still have to rank it first since it's impossible to be objective about that. It's not like a really think any of this weeks entries are extraordinary or anything, my own included.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Entry 7
Again I'd like to repeat try not to mix tenses in a story. Looked is in the past, but sees is an ongoing action. You're kinda good about this, but it's just something to watch out for. I find it's rare that people do it a lot, but it's an easy small thing that sneaks up on people. I'll be honest I'm unsure what happened. It's just too... I don't even know. It just moves so fast, characters are just there, please just write one thing.

Entry 8
Hello Jeff Zero.

First, I instantly think of James Bond. Good job with that "super-duper annoying" part, even if I didn't know who said it I could instantly guess it was some teenage girl. There is a LOT of dialogue in this one. Add in some more descriptions. I mean, half of your descriptions is like the narrator making a joke or being sarcastic about something... jokes i dont get. Oh but good job again with the Punnyz.

Entry 9
This is one of the only entries in a true traditional format and I appreciate that. I've harped on this before, but you all should know the golden rule of writing is "Show don't tell" so something like this

"Jennifer Cicero Saget had always been a perfectionist with two most unfortunate conflicting traits: she had great confidence in her own organizational and time management skills, but she was also one hell of a procrastinator."

You're telling us about Jennifer and her traits, but it would be much better if you could show these in action. I know this does add length... and work to a story and it can be difficult when dealing with a word limit, but showing helps build character much more.

This is the most readable of all the pieces, if a little generic. I OMGed though at the plot twist.

Also, if by now it's not obvious I wrote the terribly formatted #6. I did tell you I just wrote it without any editing at all. Normally I intended it to end differently because I'm not a fan of the deus ex machina ending, but I was tired and had a test the next morning. I was also originally intending on revealing the boys condition at the end. Fred is blind and Benny is deaf. This is why Benny never speaks except for some jarbled helps. It's also why Benny is always the one who instigates the searching around, and why there is touch associated with almost every action. I was going to have them fight a bear or something.

Rakings
6>9>2>3>5>8>4>7>1

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Okay. Rankings at the end. Write ups in order

Entry 1
First off (and I might say this for everyone) is be careful not to mix tenses. You start with created, which is in the past, but then go into present tense. While there is some room for this, I've learned to try to avoid this habit. Something I've noticed is you tend to have the detective say what he's feeling a lot... avoid this. I mean I'm pretty sure this is kinda derived from the old detective noir genre where this thing is pretty common, so in that way I guess it's done pretty well, but action will almost always speak louder than words in a story. Finally, I have to agree with a consensus that it is very wordy. Adding flavor is fine, but a lot of stuff can be dropped/changed.

And she kissed me.

"Kiss is such a weak word. When our lips collided, the rest of the world melted away, my eyes falling shut of their own accord as a muffled moan slipped out from her. you can just drop or change."

Like here, I'd drop the entire part after she kissed me and put in something less wordy.

Entry 2
Just a small pointer.

" Inside, her mind was a tornado of thoughts, memories, experiences, confusion. A hurricane of emotions crashed through her, sending words and images to all corners of her mind.:

I understand the kind of thing you're going for here. But the two sentences are kind of redundant. This might be nitpicking, but generally if you can get the same basic thing from two sentences its safe to get rid of one.

"She knew the recipe by heart, of course. She'd learned it from her mother"
Here the "of course" just seems like extra you can drop. For one the reader does not know how obvious it is that she knows the recipe, and two you follow with that she learned it from her mother. IMO that's enough of a link.

The text flowed very well and stays pretty consistent throughout. It was kinda like... okay i know how to make cookies too you know, type thing going on. I really don't know whats going on with the characters though I mean it sounds like there was a fight or something and then a makeup, but it might have been something else.

Entry 3
Starting off the opening is very wordy. I'll repeat my advice, try not to be redundant.
"Those were dark times. Times that came after a time of great light. When the light was gone, that meant that only darkness remained. Ultimately, all that was left was darkness."

You can pretty easily drop the section I bolded.

Oh but

“CLOUD....”, I said.

She looked back at me, standing at the gates which led off of the school grounds.

She responded with a “...”

I literally loled at this part.

Other than that I guess there isn't really isn't a lot to say. It does end rather...easily.

Entry 4
Emma died... and I don't give a F***. Her death has literally no significance besides it makes the main character upset about cookies. Also, the back and forth nature (i'm pretty sure you're changing times here) is a little confusing since I can't pinpoint why you're even doing this in the first place. I guess another complaint would be in my mind if the MC has determined that Emma's cookies were special, why is he is continuing in trying to replicate them.

Entry 5
Jeff Zero, is this you? You did say you did yours in 20 minutes and some technical errors are apparent. Actually I have no clue who this is. It's decent how you tied the beginning to the end, even if it didn't feel liek it connected at first. However, I guess I would have liked to see more of a resolution or closure to what happened. Yeah he finds out being anti-social as a child turned into a problem, but what does he do with this information?

Rest coming up.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

A

but the lighting in A is better which is why im more drawn to it I guess.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Disney

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

From: TheRock1525 | #206
Why is Justin Bieber wearing a scarf?

Hipster fashion has spread far and wide.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

yeah I did mine really fast too, so I'm actually aware of a lot of the criticism it's gotten, but just didn't have enough time to really think anything about my entry out

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

From: Emporer_Kazbar | #003
I would have preferred two yellows.

...

*sprints away*

terrible

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

I have opinions... but will probably save them until after judging is complete since I wrote one of the entries.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Postttttttt

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Etna

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

lmfao

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

8.5

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

In google I tend to type the whole thing in out of habit.

But on gamefaqs or other sites I tend to skip words.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Sleep. Even though IQ boosts are nice, having more sleep is a much safer bet.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

gamefaqs is not going to change as long as there is not a mod overhaul

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Wait it was modded?

Lmfao

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

curious

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Guys shave their legs to sometimes

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Spork, please don't respond to this topic seriously. It's more then the guy deserves.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

did you really have to make two topics

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

+8 Blues
+7 Rangers
+6 Coyotes
+5 Canucks
+4 Capitals
+3 Devils
+2 Predators
+1 Penguins

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Yeah the dude is pretty hideous

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Seg

as handily as you could get really at this stage.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Tag, Will vote later

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

It just occurred to me

was the Acchi Kocchi street fighter thing making fun of Daigo?

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

My internet at home is awful, so I'm having trouble downloading things when I'm not at school. But I've manged to see some first episodes for the season...

Zetman was pretty good, I really didn't expect much out of it, but it might have something. I'm not quite sure how the grandpa raises the kid without teaching him about like some basic things in life, but I guess i'll let that slide.

Zombie of the dead was just as good as expected, maybe even a little better.

Lupin was good, again, around what I'd expect from what I know of previous stuff.

Medaka Box was good. It was probably the the new show I was most looking forward to (besides TRAIN HERO obviously)

Natsuiro Kiseki was...pretty boring. It's very close to drop status already. It really has to suck if I'm ready to toss out a slice of life like this after an episode. Well, I as going to say this but then... magic rock... I don't even...

Sengoku Collection...how moe.

Sankarea was better than I expected.

And finally, I really enjoyed Acchi Kocchi.

To Watch
Accel World
Fate/Zero II
Uptotte
That basketball anime that will probably be dropped episode one unless it happens to be about as good as Knight in the Area.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

The worst thing about marijuana are cops busting into your apartment

>.>

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Here is how I break things down...

Nerd: Someone who has a high level of book intelligence and actually enjoys using it in a work/academic setting. Will often be socially awkward. Smart, but usually has to work a bit for it.

Geek: Someone with alarming knowledge of something AND SHOWS/BRAGS about it everywhere. Might or might not be smart. However a geek's "expertise" might make it seem like they actually know what they are talking about. Also, the hobbies that qualify for geekdom constantly changes as things become more or less mainstream. Nowadays, unless your like super obsessed, videogames probably would not count. Socially normal except for whatever his area of expertise is in.

So, I probably approach Geek a bit, but I don't think I'm quitethere.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

From: blindhobo13 | #053
Being short is more terrible since you can't change that.

I can count the members shorter than me on my hand.

>.>

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

I really don't know how this feels. I've been basically the same size forever.

If anything my only problem is finding clothes that fit.

but at least your LOSING weight.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

I took 2 level 1 mules to jeuno >.>

I also had a mule in each of the starting cities, all with max rep for the city.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

I just sent mine in. It's terrible and rushed. I did it in about 90 minutes or so, I just wanted to shell something out quickly. It's not even a genre or type of work I'm used to writing so it's like exceptionally bad.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Oh I got skipped too

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

SlymDayspring posted...
LoD is great, not sure why it gets so much hate

SPOILERS for Legend of Dragoon

terrible predictable story. You lose the hot chick and get the worst voice acted character out of all the poorly voice acted characters to replace her. You predictably lose the best character in the game. Terrible defense first battle system which slows down fights drastically. Lack of attack variety. Terrible inventory management. Slow leveling. Final Dungeon lock in. Graphics were subpar for what you knew was possible (it's not like it was some random studio this was sony doing it) Incredibly lame characters (except for two, and again, one dies).


End Spoilers

Anyways

Favorite: Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Least: Unlimited Saga

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

From: Achromatic | #2153
It was an April Fool's joke, calm down everyone lol.

I called it in Board8chat

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

What? On my server it was very likely you'd party with the same people, Japanese or American several times, unless you sucked.

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

Hahaha

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

10
7
9

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.

I watched Space Bros

I thought it was great

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Chrono1219
The beautiful genius who graduated from Harvard as a child and has an IQ of 1.3^googolplex.