Lurker > GrandConjuraton

LurkerFAQs, Active DB, DB1, DB2, DB3, DB4, DB5, DB6, DB7, DB8, Database 9 ( 09.28.2021-02-17-2022 ), DB10, DB11, DB12, Clear
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TopicAt this point, I think my therapist just straight up hates me.
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 4:28:13 PM
#1
(Well, my secondary therapist. My psychiatrist was originally at a different clinic that didn't require me seeing an on-site therapist, i've been seeing my main therapist for four years... the second therapist became a requirement for the new clinic my psych moved to a while back. I wanted to keep seeing my original therapist, so I ended up with two different ones)

She's been about as uncaring as possible ever since I started seeing her two or so years ago, always rushing me out of her office as quickly as possible while offering the bare minimum of effort at all. When our appointments moved to the phone, she did the same thing, attempting to get off of the call as quickly as she could... fast forward to around a month ago when I had another appointment, and she let the phone ring a total of three times before hanging up (writing me down as a no show in the process). Today I had another appointment to make up for the last one, and she never bothered calling at all; when my mom called her office and asked, the receptionist said that the therapist called and never got an answer, writing me down again as a no show. She said she'd tell her we called and that she should call us back, and here I am... two and a half hours after the original appointment, and still no call. She probably took the chance to make yet another "no show" to write on my records.

I've always strongly disliked her because it always seemed to me that she didn't care, and this pretty much proves it. My primary therapist is the complete opposite; always supportive and willing to go the extra mile, takes the time to get in touch if something comes up, etc.. They're worlds apart.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicCant an asterpid or something explode in the atmoshphere during a huge sun storm
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 2:02:48 PM
#2
Cant
asterpid
atmoshphere

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicRemember when saying the fuck word was banmed here
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 1:58:30 PM
#11
SweetieBeIle462 posted...
banmed


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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicSpiderman 4 is being made according to Kevin Feige.
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 1:47:52 PM
#17
The topic title made me think of the Tobey movies... and now i'm disappointed.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
Topichow do you feel about people who arent into politics?
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 1:02:59 PM
#40
Garth_Marenghi posted...
ignorance is bliss


---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicC/D: You are starved for attention.
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 12:24:20 PM
#13
[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I think part of me is desperate enough to want to hear from a wide range of people in the vain hope that one of them will say or do SOMETHING that could finally end up helping. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem possible, but...

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicIt's entirely possible to change who you are as a person
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 1:20:08 AM
#35
Veggeta_MAX posted...
It's pretty simple to notice who is forever set on their ways on this websight
Including you, it seems.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicC/D: You are starved for attention.
GrandConjuraton
12/21/21 12:41:37 AM
#1
Confirm

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicIt's entirely possible to change who you are as a person
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 11:49:47 PM
#19
Incorrect.

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicLet's Go Brandon is further proof the right can't meme
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 11:48:45 PM
#2
Inb4 @Gobstoppers12 "You're not part of the audience, so you don't find it funny!"

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 11:46:12 PM
#109
BadKarma_JT posted...
Can you elaborate further?

Also, who did you vote for last election? If you didn't vote, who would you hypothetically vote for?
Well, several are mental health related, diagnosed by a psychiatrist i've been seeing for over four years.

  • Agoraphobia
  • Major Depression
  • Social Anxiety Disorder
  • Insomnia (which leads to me not getting rest, which also makes me tired most of the time)
  • Bulimia (which is at the point of affecting my physical health in the form of increased hair loss and decaying teeth, as well as some malnutrition)


Those things aside, there are are the societal factors, too. I've been the subject of bullying and general mistreatment throughout life and it has fostered a fear of other people, to the point of being unable to leave my house unaccompanied (which goes into the mental health as well). I don't feel safe anywhere. There's the lack of hopes or dreams, too, but you could construe those as a lack of motivation if you wish to; in any case, it does further compound into the plethora of problems that I have.

I'm not a registered voter, but I would have made the effort to get out and vote if Bernie were an option.

FarmDog posted...
Nice :)

Whats your favorite handheld console? Favorite handheld games?
Not many people seemed to care for it, but I really liked the Vita, >.< . I loved it and used it quite a bit for several years.

The World Ends With You, Metroid, Danganronpa, Pokemon, Fire Emblem, Cytus Lamda, some Hatsune Miku games... I've played a lot of different ones.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com./user.php?db=.9.user=MorningRose/games/rated

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 9:27:34 PM
#106
FarmDog posted...
Do you have any posters up on your wall?
A few, >.< . A Game of Thrones poster (featuring Ned Stark), one with a ton of different butterflies, a Kingdom Hearts one, a small Dissidia (Final Fantasy) one, and one with with Disney princesses on it. I few wall scrolls, too; two Precure ones, a Madoka Magica one (though it's not currently hung, due to a lack of wall space), and a HDN one.

I have some miscellaneous things up on my while, like smaller pictures or framed puzzles that my mom and I have worked on together.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 6:30:24 PM
#104
BadKarma_JT posted...
Does this video help motivate you? Right now you are less productive and self sufficient than someone making minimum wage at Wendys... securing a small bag > than no bag.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWSGU5cnZls
No? My life is the way it is for a lot more reasons than just a lack of motivation.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 6:17:48 PM
#102
MarveI posted...

I hereby award you a medal of awesomeness!
That's deserving of a medal? >.<

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 6:14:41 PM
#100
MarveI posted...
Would you wear pantyhose for a guy if he thought u were hot in em?
>implying I haven't already

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 6:13:37 PM
#98
RedLuigi posted...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/1/8/AAfJppAACuOS.jpg

Would it help if we put you in a very smol cup thing and went on adventures like this?
<3

It might be kind of fun, so maybe?

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicWhat is the most painfully average piece of media you've ever consumed?
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 6:05:18 PM
#14
Attack on Titan

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 6:03:16 PM
#95
WarfireX posted...
r any of ur mental health issues diagnosed by a professional?

if so, which ones becuz i dont believe all of them r
All of them, :P . I've been seeing a psych for over four years and am on a few different kinds of medications for them.

I'll lose sleep over you not believing me, though.

FarmDog posted...
Thoughts on this guitarist?
https://youtube.com/shorts/smpeJMa5rpc
Adorable, :D

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 5:43:17 PM
#92
Bump

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicMan finally I am back on CE
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 3:35:17 PM
#30
nfearurspecimn posted...
no
Rude. Bad kitty!

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicThe Addams Family or The Munsters?
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 12:21:49 PM
#9
Munsters by far.

Never liked Addams Family at all.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicMan finally I am back on CE
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 12:19:53 PM
#16
RIP Man finally

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Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicWhy do many people still not attend college?
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 2:25:05 AM
#23
Kloe_Rinz posted...
Financial aid in America means Ill give you 30k now and you have to pay me back 500k minimum over the rest of your life


---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicDo you ever go to specialized message boards and feel like an outsider?
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:52:25 AM
#2
I feel like an outsider everywhere, x.x

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:48:28 AM
#91
BadKarma_JT posted...
Are you obese and incapable of moving? Just doing a daily walk would help.
No.

LeoRavus posted...
It's not really an attitude. It's reality. I live in a small shitty town full of rednecks and crackheads. I shouldn't feel self-conscious going to the store.

I started feeling that way going to local places. Then I started going to Target where I still felt superior to those around me. So now it's like the sky's the limit
An ant comparing itself to a speck of soil doesn't make either of them any bigger.

That being said, I can relate in the sense that I live in an extremely rural area filled with flaming racists and homophobes and such, :/

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:38:03 AM
#88
_Angel_ posted...
Do you also go by @_MorningStar ?
MorningRose

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:37:50 AM
#87
LeoRavus posted...
TC I used to be like this as well. Self-conscious as fuck even though I'm not bad looking. Afraid to be around people.

Then something happened. I came to the realization that I'm actually better than most people I encounter. There's no reason to feel like a lesser person than anyone.

I walk into stores with pride now knowing I'm the prettiest and most likely the smartest mf in the place and they're probably jealous. That's how I approach life at this point.
No offense, but people with that kind of attitude usually aren't any better than anyone else, >.<

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:24:59 AM
#83
Occupy_This posted...
Do you shower? Brush your teeth?
Of course I do.

The problem with my teeth is less about brushing (though I could definitely stand to brush them more often) and more about the purging, though. I have a ton of teeth getting ready to cause me grief through the form of more cavities, according to the dentist.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:23:14 AM
#82
_Angel_ posted...
Everybody already asked all the questions I might have.

Count your blessings that life seems to have worked out for you like this in light of your condition, I guess. I'd wager there's a lot of men and women out there on the streets right now just like you with no safety nets, that are fucked or about to be.

Also, electric guitars are quiet and there's various ways to play through headphones.
It's debatable whether or not I have "blessings", depending on your point of view. To me, I would be better off starving to death.

Also, interesting.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:10:32 AM
#79
Occupy_This posted...
When was the last time you stepped outside?
Three weeks ago, I guess? It was whenever I got my tooth pulled.

Before that, it was over three months.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 1:07:02 AM
#77
armandro posted...
are people really afraid to go out because of covid?

its been long enough
I'm sure there are, but i'm just a shut-in. I couldn't really care less about covid, myself.

FarmDog posted...
Ehh maybe not the very first. The picking might be trouble for a early beginner and later on in the song it gets a little more difficult. Come As You Are by Nirvana is one of the easiest. You should learn chords first when starting out then move to picking. Guitar is a long slow process so if you dont have patience then I dont know what to tell you. But when you get good its super fun and relaxing. Heres something that gives me relaxation and peace. Took me many years and hard practice to play this good https://voca.ro/1a7s20OJAYRu I think you might like the melody.
This is just theoretical, anyway, >.< . I don't have a guitar, access to one, or any way of getting one, and I doubt my family would want to hear me practice, anyway.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/20/21 12:22:14 AM
#74
FarmDog posted...


Twinkler sounds like a easy song to start on the guitar. I just learned the intro by ear :) https://voca.ro/1lUrENQTHg4r
Nice! :)

I ever had a chance to play, that would be a good place to start, then?

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 11:47:15 PM
#72
FarmDog posted...
whats your fav song off that album
Board Up the House, I guess? I love pretty much every song on it, so that's a pretty tough question.


---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 11:31:55 PM
#70
FarmDog posted...
That band sounds familiar. I think they have a song about bones or something? Take my bones away I believe. Thats the only song I remember.
Yeah, that's one of them, lol. It's from my favorite album of theirs, Yellow & Green.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 11:17:39 PM
#68
Occupy_This posted...
How old are you?
27

FarmDog posted...
Have you ever been to a metal concert? If not, who would you like to see if given the free opportunity?
I've never really had the chance, >.< . Living in the middle of nowhere limits chances of getting touring musicians, and plus, no one else in my family likes metal, so... it's not really been a possibility.

That being said, i'm not sure if i'd go to one or not. I'd love to see Baroness (my favorite band) in person, but the idea of being in a crown of people gives me anxiety.

BlingBling22947 posted...
What's the last thing you ate?
Some cheese and crackers.

MedeaLysistrata posted...
Are you familiar with any of my uh... ideas... about message boards?
Nope. What are they? x.x

Sayoria posted...
Because it's your name, or.......? Like, I am genuinely curious. It's been years and still don't know the answer. >.<;
It's because you're silly and you gave it to me as a nickname a long time ago, :P

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 6:24:32 PM
#61
BloodMoon7 posted...
I live my life awaiting death. My heart is a serene night sea because I know deliverance from this nightmare will come eventually. To rest well and have this respite after the longest day. To kiss her lips and walk together hand in hand with the fair Lady Death. I can think of no greater bliss, no better reward for one's struggles.

But like. I don't wanna get old either cause old people are gross.
My life revolves around waiting to die, but this particular post reads like a copypasta.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 6:23:49 PM
#59
EffectAndCause posted...
Youre in a relationship with your soulmate and other people will pay for your entire life from birth to death. You fucking won existence itself.
If you say so.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 6:17:44 PM
#55
EffectAndCause posted...


You seem weirdly certain about that for a shut-in with so many mental issues. Your boyfriend is completely okay with this version of you? Do they live with you and your parents? In which case holy s*** I want your life.
He has all of the same problems that I do, and we like pretty much all of the same things and have most of the same opinions on everything. He considers me his soulmate, and I consider him mine.

My life is anything but amazing, though.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 6:14:58 PM
#53
FL81 posted...
I spent three years of my life as a hikikomori and it was the lowest point in my life in terms of my mental health

I often see posts glorifying it and saying "gee I wish I could do this" but really it just isn't worth it
It's 100% true. It might seem grand if you have a life where you're busy with work and other things a lot of the time, but it's really not; the isolation and hopelessness is stifling to the point where it's nearly impossible to derive any enjoyment from living. It embodies "too much of a good thing" to the maximum degree, in terms of having time on your hands.

AngelicRadiance posted...
We live in a society
An extremely deplorable one.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 6:04:21 PM
#50
EffectAndCause posted...
Does your sister agree to pay for your entire life and give you shelter?

Also how are you possibly gonna marry a dude if you dont interact with the world?
She has already promised me.

Online dating. I've already been with someone for two years, and our relationship doesn't have the slightest chance of ending.

---
Swansong, I can feel you fade.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 3:07:41 PM
#48
EffectAndCause posted...
Whats the plan financially when your parents die?
Sister or husband.

Sayoria posted...
Tfw your question wasn't answered.

):
You know the answer, >.<

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 10:59:00 AM
#45
AngelicRadiance posted...
Who shut you in!? I'll come rescue you all Liam Neeson like
Society, D:

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 10:57:26 AM
#43
FarmDog posted...
If you started playing the guitar what type of genre would you learn? What song(s) would you like to play first?
Metal is my favorite type of music, so i'd try to find something relatively simple that I could start with, >.<

At the end of the day, though, playing seems a bit unrealistic in my case...

R1masher posted...
How often do you clip your toenails?
Whenever they need clipped, :P

samurai bandit posted...
Would you want to stop being a shut in?
Yeah, but it's not something I can really change.

NullAndVoidFC posted...
Assuming your marriage works out and you move out with them, how do you plan to support yourself?
There's no chance that it wouldn't work, x.x . Also, government assistance and such; he has MS, and he already gets financial assistance.

TeaMilk posted...
What are some of your favorite recipes to cook?
I'm really good at making peanut butter fudge and meatloaf, but i'm not too sure I like making the fudge, >.< . A lot of stirring is involved, and I occasionally get burned if the mixture decides to jump out of the pot.

Steffenfield posted...
Hiya GrandConjuraton.

If you're online dating with little activities to find with your boyfriend, here's a fun way to waste good time with him.

https://w2g.tv/?lang=en

This site lets you watch YouTube videos, music, movies together in real time.

No need to register either unless you want a proper username and avatar picture.

You two should give it a try. :)
I appreciate the idea, but we do already have a way of watching things together! We use the screen share function on Discord.

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicWhat is your favourite thing about CE?
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 3:50:32 AM
#13
Lion_of_Gemini posted...
Then why are you here?
I don't really have any other options.

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicLook, I know using Q-tips to clean your ears is bad, but here's the thing...
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 3:45:27 AM
#13
How exactly are you supposed to clean your ears otherwise?

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
Topicwhere is Duncan?
GrandConjuraton
12/19/21 3:35:03 AM
#6
Who cares?

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
TopicI am a shut-in. Ask me anything.
GrandConjuraton
12/18/21 11:31:52 PM
#31
Sayoria posted...
I have a question
"Why do so many people call you Aeae"

---
Clear and bright; meant not for me, in unending night.
https://i.imgur.com/WT6Eugc.png
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