Lurker > godogod

update. got news from the 2nd fte job about taking the next steps. Looks like I don't have to do one more interview and I might be getting an offer!

maybe I should cancel the contract one? I haven't gotten a time/schedule for the interview, but I don't want to be out of health insurance for God knows how long. fuck that.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

badjay posted...

They'd drop you so fast if they found another candidate who was more qualified and cheaper than you. There's no reason to have loyalty to companies when dollars are all that matters realistically. Feel free to leave that job after it has already started if another company offers you much better in compensation. Hell, wouldn't you drop working with one location if it was work from home or five minutes from where you live and they paid the same? That can be the difference maker easily.

That's true. But they wouldn't drop me when they offered me the position.. and not until/if they don't like my performance.

All the jobs are in the city actually so it wouldn't matter distance wise. Compensation definitely matter, as well as benefits and having a cool manager and team to work with. Really trying to take all those into account.

I talked to a family member and I went ahead and went forward with scheduling the panel for the contract position. The other one I'm waiting to hear back.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

No. I would feel more awkward buying condoms.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

bum

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I would definitely work. Whether it's in an office, that's a other story.

I might just take time off to travel at first. It really depends how much money I won. I would invest in some and give to relatives and give some back to the community. Maybe I'll be an entrepreneur and start my own business.

No way in hell am I gonna not gonna work. It's gonna be boring as fuck to not be productive.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

AssultTank posted...

The other thing is having job offers from those other companies will make your negotiating position stronger with regards to salary negotiations.

I negotiated with the one I accepted and I am satisfied with the money. Benefits are okay, but they have stock options.. Sick time accrual form day 1. Could be better.
The director and my teammates seem nice, but I don't know anything about the supervisor I'm reporting with. I had a bad experience in my previous job with a shit manager who never managed people before and was terrible at it.

The other FTE position I dunno if they would be able to match, but their benefits might be better . They have unlimited PTO for one. What's also interesting to me is that the technology used (like Crisper gene editing) is cutting edge and other skills mentioned would also look nice on my resume.

The third job is a contract (think 6 months to hire?) but hourly and it's actually $4 more on an annual basis than the one I accepted, but it's still contract. The manager seems super nice and easy to get along with.

All 3 jobs are places I would want to work with given the job description and what I have been told, otherwise I wouldn't zero them out immediately.

I had the option to change my start date for the one I accepted a week later (29th) too. ugh. I am starting on the week of Thanksgiving and will have Thursday and Friday off. Just wanted more money, but I was thinking about changing it a week later for this reason. This background check with the one I accepted could take anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks. Getting anxiety thinking about it. They said the HR manager would reach out and give me the next steps soon.. I know I am overthinking this.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

3PiesAndAFork posted...

You haven't gotten an offer from those other guys. Keep the interview, in case of the 10% chance you don't get this one.

the 10% chance is me being paranoid.I almost feel like I'm leading them on.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Was her unfairly represented, unlike Kyle Rittenhouse?

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

RchHomieQuanChi posted...

Don't close any doors

what do you mean? I should still accept interviews, even though there is a 90% chance of me starting next week? What I don't want to do is leave one job after it's already started..

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I got a job offer last week, and accepted it. Now they are doing the background check which I should pass, and I'm expected to start next week. It's a full time position too.

That being said I had two other interviews from other companies I did really good at last week. One is a FTE position also and they want me to interview with one more person, and the other is a contract position and they are requesting a panel interview.

Should I keep interviewing them? I just feel like in case I don't get the first job I accepted for whatever reason I want to be covered. Or maybe I shouldn't swear it and tell the other companies I accepted an offer and are no longer available.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I've been unemployed for 1.5 months now, but I accepted an offer today. Going to be starting 2 months after my last day of my previous company.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

cuttin_in_farm posted...

To answer the question he didnt

One job is public. The other isnt.

Personally, I find sex workers to be a bit lazy. Like, porn actresses can rarely act. Be it playing a character or simulating believable sex. I dont think I look down on them, but I dont exactly have a high opinion of them.

Strippers I have respect for since that takes athleticism. But sex work that involves full blown sex just seems like a poor decision ultimately. Especially in this day and age.

There is more work in porn then meets the eye though. You have to be photogenic and attractive , and you do have to put the work in the scenes and be in weird positions.


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

B18Champ posted...

That is kind of putting you in a tough spot if you have to contact a previous manager. What if your previous manager is dead or you left on bad terms?

Well I made sure I only contacted the jobs with managers at the time I didn't leave the jobs on bad terms with. I contacted 4 managers and 3 over text or social media The lone one didn't even respond over email.

I only added one manager to my list of references and he said it went well.

And it goes to show you to always be on good terms with your manager and company before you leave. Its not rare for companies to ask for a manager reference. It's happened a handful of times to me. Also ask if you could use them as a reference while you are leaving.. it can go a long way.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I got the references. 2 managers and 1 supervisor got back to me.

Now to expect a counter offer and pass the background check.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

AngelsNAirwav3s posted...

Does anyone still use Tinder? I feel like Hinge and Bumble are way more popular now in the US

I have no luck with bumble. far less likely to get matched at bumble.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Teh_Dr_Phil posted...

asking for references after extending an offer? lolwut

Yeah kinda weird.

I haven't accepted the offer yet. I'm tempted to ask for $2000 more in salary also . Maybe the reference check will be quick and they're expecting me to give it to them before they get the paper signed.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Scintillant posted...

New job has about 40 paid days off a year vs my current job's 23. Less stress, better benefits, same salary.

Should be a no brainer.

Absolute no brainer. Do you feel like the company culture is good over there, and did you check for recent reviews on Glassdoor for the new company?

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

SomeLikeItHoth posted...

What I do when I leave a job is always ask the manager if you can use them as a future reference. Saves everyone time.

Yeah I definitely try to. I just hope they remember and are comfortable enough. It really throws me off when recruiters or an HR of a company asks me for manager references.

One freaking time one company asked for 4 manager references. I heard back from 2, and one of them didn't get back to me after.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Rain_Dust posted...

Put the number to the place that you worked. They will talk to HR at your old work. They can connect to a manager.

I'll consider it as a last resort.. but man.. I want to make sure I can trust if the manager that still works there can put a good word in. And like I said, it's better that you tell them ahead of time no matter who it is. People in power take this seriously. Managers are different than friends you met at work who would put in a good word no matter what.. They care about their reputation.


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

SiO4 posted...

Just put the number of the previous employer and the names of your managers.
If they...even do...check that stuff, they will figure it out.

well I'm not gonna put my last two for sure.

There are 3 others before. I'm trying to get a hold of two of them.

Also, I learned the hard way after college that it's not a good idea at all to put someone as a reference without their permission. I've put academia instructors as references for a job without telling them and they were upset. You burn bridges like that. I mean it sounds like common sense cause it's commom courtesy. You want to put references for people you can trust would put in a good word for you, and you want to give them a heads up. They are also taking time out if their schedules to answer

AvlButtslam posted...

What kind of job?

I think most places, if its not for a life or death kind of responsibility or something that needs government security clearance, they wont bother checking references. No one has time for that.

biotech. Nah if they ask for references as a sort of a background check, they definitely will. It wouldn't be a huge deal if they asked for 3-4 referenced and try weren't from managers. They might not get to everyone, but you don't want to bank on that. Thing is that HR asked personally for 2 manager references if possible, but only one is required. The other I have it covered from a coworker. If they can't get ahold of one, they would ask for another. it would stall me sometime only, but could make them suspicious.. As I said to the first reply in this thread, it's expected that you reach out to your references first so they anticipate a call or email from HR.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

they are asking for two references. At least one has to be a previous manager.

I'm frantically trying to contact past managers on social media. I might not get the job if I don't get one or them to be a reference. smh


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

hockeybub89 posted...

Not sharing personal details with complete strangers is nutty now? Seems pretty ableist. Really just ignorant, because you don't need to have some sort of condition to not get so personal the first time you meet someone.

Also, the majority is wrong all the fucking time. Have you ever met a human being or read about their history?

I would never tell someone I just met jack shit. They gotta earn that.

What? Everybody should absolutely know who they are dating. Sexual identity and preference should be shared from the get go, otherwise it's deceptive and a waste of time for both parties. We're talking about dating here, and it's personal.
It's absolutely fucking common sense that it matters to people while dating. And relationships are built on trust. You lie about something big like that, they can't trust you with anything else and it's over.

You can't justify being deceptive because you are insecure and fear of being accepted because you have a smaller dating pool. Just grow a pair and own it. Have confidence that you are a trans and let people know, and come to terms with the fact that the world may see you differently than biological women, and it might be a deal breaker to many. But so what? That just means you will be closer to finding a partner that is more compatible to you. Be honest with yourself about this.

and nobody is saying you should share everything on a first date. You just need to use your brain for what things should be disclosed on what date. Nobody needs to know your medical history on a first date for example.

Most CE posters here are fairly liberal, intelligent and decent people here. 90% of people voting yes on this poll aren't trolls. It's just common courtesy and for safety as well. Just grt the hell out of your bubble and acknowledge that society outside of these threads and offline think so as well

if you really wanna hide that you are trans and not bring it up until it gets serious, that's on you. You won't get into a serious longterm relationship and you will end up with more heart break and people resenting you. I also sincerely hope you don't get hurt.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Sariana21 posted...

WTF? I still get congratulate so-and-so on her job anniversary, and I know she retired like 15 years ago! I know tons of people who dont update their profiles.

alright to be fair, one if the newer people in my department looked at my profile a few times in a few weeks. First time she saw that I didn't even have the job listed. I then put the job and my responsibilities after in my profile a week later, but it said I still worked there. So maybe her and the new associates were talking and the manager overhead and went to my profile a few days ago to file a claim that it was incorrect? I can't imagine the new associates being that petty. like I was cool with them and trained one of them, and he added me a few days ago too.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

D. We should be confident enough that they wouldn't cheat on us.


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

yep the professional clout. people bragging about their achievements


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Actually, it must have been someone I know. I'm guessing my ex manager. Only one that seems petty enough to do so.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I think it also potentially be a recruiter who works for my company. Because on the company profile if someone clicks on People I could still be on it along with other members. I think there was an option on LinkedIn to turn it off (on a company profile.

But the timing is weird with

Either way, I have to change it. ugh.

Kombucha posted...

Seems like such a petty thing to report.

Yeah petty as hell.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I left the company and it wasn't up to date and it showed that I still worked there. Someone reported a claim. Not sure if it was someone in my department or if it was corporate.

LinkedIn gave me a warning to change it in 14 days or risk having that job description removed or disabled.

Like who would do this? lol. I did notice publicly that two newer people that joined my department before they left look at my profile like twice in the last couple of days, and one added me.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Tyranthraxus posted...

Nah it really used to be about loyalty. Jobs used to have things like seniority and pensions that got better with time spent in one place and now all that is gone. Being fired used to be a really big deal because you'd have to start all over. Now being fired usually means you get a job that pays you better elsewhere because of your experience.

Nah, being fired is still not a good look. It will take you 2x as long to find a job if you admit to being fired.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

or a mild form of the flu.

Get tested to see if you are positive.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Derwood posted...

There are more white people in poverty/on welfare than there are minorities.

You're wrong about literally everything

I havent looked up on the statistics, but Caucasians out number every other race/ethnic group.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

oh wow really..

edit: Oh. 53 at metacritic.

Most people liked the first venom movie regardless of critics trashing it.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

PatrickMahomes posted...

What was the job?

It was a job in biotech.

Anyway, what they did was messed up and I think I could have sued them. But I didn't. I talked to the doctor and told him about the form he filled out and got a doctor's note and gave it to HR. I said it was a Wrongful termination and that I want the agreement to say that I left the company in writing over being terminated, which they altered and gave back to sign to me.

kingdrake2 posted...

damn. coroni will get us all fired :(.
damn it.

also to note: the company wanted TC to be let go/fired for any dumb reason they just wanted him gone.

Despite me not making any repeatable mistakes for 2 months, corporate or my manager or whoever wanted me gone.

XxMahnaMahnaxX posted...

Im probably going to get fired. I feel you tc

How long have toy worked there and did Did they give you a performance improvement plan or something similar?If management noted something in writing to HR, then I would consider looking elsewhere, notably if your manager didn't like you. There's a lot of signs about getting fired soon. I didn't want to believe it and wanted to work as long as I could, but I just wished I started looking at least a month ago.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

you guys really gonna focus on that?

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Tom Clark posted...

Surely firing you for simply for having a medical condition isn't legal...?

Unless they're going the "it was a pre-existing medical condition that you didn't disclose before hiring" route.

no, I said it was undiagnosed and I thought I had it and that I am going to try and get treatment for it. I thought they would be understanding, which I do think they were at the time.

Corporate world is cut throat though.

Big_Nabendu posted....
I wanted anonymity.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

why did you rope your doctor into talking to your job

Not my manager, but my senior manager. She seemed understanding at the time. She told me I could look at resources paid by the company and then she forwarded it to HR for a friendly chit chat--which she then told HR about.

HR lady was the one that asked me to follow up with a doctor and fill an ADAA form and asked if I needed accomodations. my main doc couldn't even diagnose me so I had to go to a psychiatrist

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I didn't sign it yet. Don't think I want any financial compensation. I am getting some severance pay.
Just want them to know I could do the job and follow up with my psychiatrist clearing that up. And just move on with my life.

thanks


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I told my senior manager that I thought I had ADD and I wanted to get treatment for it. My performance wasn't the best, but I was improving. I was thinking my manager hated me and wanted me out. Anyway, that was 2 months ago.

I went through two doctors since to get a diagnosis and followed up with HR during the time. I was then asked to be in a remote meeting last Monday and put on leave ever since, saying that the status of my employment was dependant on me going to the doctor for my condition and seeing if I needed special/extra accomodation. Whatever the doctor wrote on the ADAA form, wasn't good for them. I also think the doctor misunderstood some of the questions. He didn't even complete the form entirely wither

But anyway, I was diagnosed with mild ADHD and given prescription treatment. I forwarded the form to HR and told them that I was given treatment via prescription.

Next thing I know, I was in a follow up meeting with managers and a consultant, and the consultant said that the ADAA form said I couldn't perform my job and that they didn't have special accomodations. And for some fucking reason, HR never told them I was being prescribed medication for treatment.

I was so shocked and tried to explain myself and just agreed with the outcome.

I ended up writing an angry letter saying I didn't respect the decision due to a nasty decision and that I haven't made any repeated failure of test performances in the last 2 months.

tl;Dr if your immediate manager hates you and you don't speak up about it (which I never did), you're likely gonna get fired. Once those PIPs come in, just start looking for a new job. And I asked treatment for my potential ADHD which I said could improve my performance (which was improving), but I wasn't given that chance. Something they agreed on. I feel like this shit is illegal, but I want to move on.


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

TheChariot posted...

What's the bas-

Work from home. That's already way more than I make and having no annoying douche bosses to yell at me. Plus, WFH guarantees that I don't have to stand or even sit if I don't want to.

ugh that doesn't guarantee you won't get chewed out by your boss in 1-1 zoom calls or passive aggressive emails I'd they are unhappy with you.


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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

For those that have been taking Adderall or a similar medication, how much dosage have you started with and what is it now?

My biggest fear is over reliance and having to keep checking with the psychiatrist every 2-4;weeks and ask to bump up the dosage because my body will tolerate it (inevitably) and the potential side effects. I was given 10mg twice a day, but.. day 1 I used one 10mg tablet and on day 2 and 3 I did one 5mg tablet. Just trying to check my tolerance That 1 10mg tablet made a noticable difference, while the 5mg wasn't much.

maybe it's a pipe dream to think that I can somwhiw maintain up to a 10mg dosage 1-2x a day for a year or two.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I mean Shang Chi didn't do a ton in China. Mad he was visiting relatives mostly.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

I'm confused. Was it the manager that called the prison guard a racial slur or the other way around?

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

One of my favorites is just get a planner. Lol I am completely incapable of sticking to those for more than one day.

I actually do write what I'm going to do or need to do nearly everyday and it's helped me a lot. Notebook for work and just texting myself the night before at home or for work so I don't forget.

of course, a planner only helps to a degree. It keeps you structured and organized.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Kitt posted...

Spotify have ads?

yeah they have been having adds for non subscribers.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Ok I'm curious, what was your guy's dosage?

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

FightingJester posted...

The come down off addies is terrible.

Besides differing individually, I think this is going to be heavily dependent on dosage.

I didn't have this issue today personally. Coffee on the other hand I sometimes do get that,. jt that's usually if I don't take my time drinking a cup and just rush, as well as spiking my blood sugar with food in a short time frame.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

ShyOx posted...

You know who doesnt have that? People who are dead inside and dont think. What youre doing is normal, its called thinking. Were not supposed to be drones who can do boring things for hours on end.

Today, the fifth edition of the DSM only requires one to exhibit five of 18 possible symptoms to qualify for an ADHD diagnosis. If you havent seen the list, look it up. It will probably bother you. How many of us can claim that we have difficulty with organization or a tendency to lose things; that we are frequently forgetful or distracted or fail to pay close attention to details? Under these subjective criteria, the entire U.S. population could potentially qualify.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/time.com/25370/doctor-adhd-does-not-exist/%3famp=true

Most of the population qualifies on this sort of criteria, cause guess what? Speed helps eeeeeverybody to knuckle down, the same way steroids make eeeeeverybody play sports better. Does that make it a good idea?

It is not a long term solution. Its a highly addictive drug that will cause a shit ton of damage over time. I dont know anyone who takes adderal regularly who I would give a clean bill of health to. They turn into fuckin drones, its sad and depressing. They ignore problems in their lives because theyre too zonked out on speed.

You're crazy. ADD isn't a hoax disease dude, it's legitimate. People that have ADD dont have the same brains as a normal brain. Some areas are underdeveloped. You also don't know anything about me. I've had inattention problems as long as I could remember since grade school and I have a family history of it. There's an 85% chance a parent can pass it on to their kids. it's impacted my personal life, my academics and my professional life.

if it was a hoax disease, there literally wouldn't be thousands of scientific articles and peer reviews on this saying otherwise. Everyone is different and you can't lump everyone and say they are the same either. People have varying degrees of ADD (as well as any mental illness).

last thing I want to do is rely on meds dude. this is the very last straw for me, as it is affecting my personal and professional life.
I dont need to prove anything to you. Let the people who genuinely have suffered and suspect they may have it, go to a psychiatrist and go from there. It's up to people and their loved ones to manage their health.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Payzmaykr posted...

Seriously, quit while youre ahead. That stuff will crack you out and it only gets worse. The drug literally has a street value and Ive known people who had to go to rehab for it.

People in this topic are praising it because it makes them feel good. Its chemically identical to either meth or ecstasy (cant remember which).

Edit: Its meth. Most meth heads use adderall when they cant score and many meth heads are former adderall users.

https://www.labroots.com/trending/drug-discovery-and-development/15690/adderall-identical-crystal-meth

This is a very dangerous thing to say and outright misinformation. Meds can help people function normally and help keep their jobs by performing adequately when they couldn't otherwise.

I never intended to be on meds for the rest of my life. I hate the idea of relying on it, and it hurts especially when I had to see a family member die of cancer and have to take a dozen different meds every day after their diagnosis.

There's clearly a difference in posts here where people are genuinely curious and think it will help them vs people who just want to experiment and do it recreationally. I made it clear that I don't condone recreational usage here.

What people need to do is see a psychiatrist if they genuinely have add like symptoms to the point where it's affecting relationships and their everyday +professional lives.

Also, I plan to take half the recommended dosage (5mg) to see how it affects me.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

As of today, I do now for my ADD. Only took one dose out of two but I notice a difference. Going to cut the dose in half and see how it affects me.

I'm afraid.. Not so much addiction, but having to rely on it. I hope the good habits that I can form I can keep without using it. I know I'll have to work extra hard.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.

Erectum posted...

We all start off unsure/inexperienced

some people never get through it. Doesn't help of they grew up in conservative households and they couldn't even ask their parents for dating advice, because their parents believed in getting a degree and then getting married.

Some people are also incredibly shy and don't make the first move like kissing. Me too hasn't made things easier for inexperienced men. Nobody wants to be seen a creep.

Trust me. There are many people out there who wonder how people do have sex on a regular basis, as well as companionship, which is probably the main thing.. Like we see it in the media and maybe through friends and aquaintances. But it's hard for them to fathom. It's sad really. I had so many opportunities in my life. in high school, I couldn't date. in college I had girls interested but I was so fucking shy about moving things forward and I didn't kiss. like I would text funny stuff and sometimes sexy stuff but was worried about looking like a creep and was wondering if I was ready for a relationship. I left a lot of girls frustrated.

of course people should absolutely should take the initiative. It only gets harder as you age if you don't date/don't have experience. Most people say they don't discriminated but let's be honest..
they have expectations and most have been in a relationship and know what they wants and they are less patient about wasting time. Not just sex, but romance and companionship and talking to them on the regular. If you are a shy introvert in your 30s who has zero dating experience, you need to get on it. ASAP. Fix whatever problems toy have with yourself and talk to women, even if it's platonically, you get experience and comfort and helps you out of your shell.

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There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be patient.