Lurker > The_Croup

Noumas posted...

https://i2.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/PRI_76957872.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C874&ssl=1

Either that or photoshop

A poorly underwired and designed dress, I'd say.
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The immaculate consumptive

Modern rap is perfectly acceptable.


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The immaculate consumptive

At this point, changing careers sounds as if it may be a logistical nightmare!
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The immaculate consumptive

Very little. Perhaps $20 or so if Humble Bundle has something worthwhile.
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The immaculate consumptive

I honestly cannot tell whether or not this is a man in begging.
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The immaculate consumptive

End credit sequence: an onion and small cucumber.
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The immaculate consumptive

Oh my, talk about a twist ending!
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The immaculate consumptive

V-E-G-Y- posted...

Are prostate exams uncomfortable?

They are only as uncomfortable as you make them.
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The immaculate consumptive

An oral fixation, perhaps?
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The immaculate consumptive

SoundNetwork posted...

The_Croup posted...

irreparable

man just realized how weird this word is

should be irrepairable cuz u cant repair it

I was forced to use the word "discriminating" dozens of times within the same piece of work recently and began to question my sanity. Some words will simply throw you for a loop.
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The immaculate consumptive

Deadpool_18 posted...

The_Croup posted...

I must admit to my eternal shame that my first question was whether Henry Cavendish is "the banana guy".

My second question was an inquiry as to the location of any peer reviewed publications supporting the claim of the article. A blog citing a marital aid company's research and a popular science magazine, to crib shamelessly from Aristotle "just ain't cuttin' it".

I have personally known (both colloquially and in the biblical sense) many intellectuals with exceedingly active sex lives.

Didnt take very long for you to have to reuse the same flowery language. You should probably have a thesaurus handy for this gimmick.

My dear boy, there's no need to attempt the "negging" your generation appears so fond of. I am well and truly spoken for.
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The immaculate consumptive

Without any attempt at humour or levity, please do not do this. You may/will do irreparable damage to your liver and/or brain.
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The immaculate consumptive

Four polygons and a blurry smear?
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The immaculate consumptive

Deadpool_18 posted...

That whole first sentence leads me to believe that you dont need to worry about sex.

To be perfectly, brutally honest, my dear boy, I never have had to worry about sex. My nether regions have always been a Field of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. O lord, did they come. Repeatedly. (If you are suitably courteous, I may even divulge my high score).

These days, monogamy is sweet relief and my interest in my appearance is, truth be told, merely for vanity's sake.
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The immaculate consumptive

Speaking as someone who has plumbed the relative depths of depravity two consenting adults can indulge in (frequently and with many variations), this topic makes me deeply uncomfortable.
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The immaculate consumptive

I must admit to my eternal shame that my first question was whether Henry Cavendish is "the banana guy".

My second question was an inquiry as to the location of any peer reviewed publications supporting the claim of the article. A blog citing a marital aid company's research and a popular science magazine, to crib shamelessly from Aristotle "just ain't cuttin' it".

I have personally known (both colloquially and in the biblical sense) many intellectuals with exceedingly active sex lives.
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The immaculate consumptive

BuckVanHammer posted...

oils are kinda steep, ive been making my own for awhile now. not that hard, ton of guides on it.

i like a variety of scents and it was more affordable to make my own.

Aha! A scented beard? This is entirely within my wheelhouse. How utterly biblical!
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The immaculate consumptive

Oatcakes posted...

I heard shaving helps :s

While it has often been remarked that my stubble grows in rather quickly, I suspect that shaving rather defeats the purpose of attempting to grow a beard.
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The immaculate consumptive

Well, if she was at the front desk, all she could hope for would be the tip.
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The immaculate consumptive

Where may I purchase beard lubricant? I must admit, I am utterly at a loss. If I charge into a chemist's and demand to be shown to their beard lubricant section, will they look at me askance?
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The immaculate consumptive

I fear that my skin shall never dry out. Whilst both a blessing and a curse (since it has allowed me to retain exceedingly youthful features), my skin is somewhat oily. Thankfully, it does not present with pustules, but rather remains unpleasantly unctuous to the touch.

If I were to explore the hirsute path, how much of an investment would I be required to make, in order to acquire follicular lubricants?
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The immaculate consumptive

divot1338 posted...

The problem is she needed to get a third really big boob on her back to counterbalance what she has up front.

You cant just evolve breasts that big without some kind of adaptation. Although I applaud anyone who tries.

By Plato's pearly papules, give this man a research grant and a fully equipped, fully staffed bioinformatics lab!
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The immaculate consumptive

As the Great Sage Okkie once said: "Work is the curse of the drinking classes".

I suspect I shall not make old bones, so I may as well enjoy evenings on the weekend.
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The immaculate consumptive

As the kids say, "sock it to me"!

I'll put the Chupa in the chupacabra!
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The immaculate consumptive

I have not patronised a Subway outlet since obtaining a bird-eye view of their food preparation area.

NIE WIEDER SUBWAYISMUS!
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The immaculate consumptive

My dear boy, we require far more context. Is this topic intended as a way of whingeing and mewling, or do you desire feedback and advice?
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The immaculate consumptive

Any such reduction would verge on iconoclasty.
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The immaculate consumptive

Middle hope posted...

Why does he have his daughters I'm a music video about his dick?

Well, Gary Numan recently featured his daughter in a music video about his sincere wish to become Trent Reznor (), so I suppose
anything goes?
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The immaculate consumptive

Alteres posted...

Seems like pasta, but in all seriousness don't use the face soap on the beard. Shampoo then condition it like your hair.

My dear boy, I suspect that any prolonged regimen of rubbing pasta into my pores may result in a rather nasty case of candidiasis.
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The immaculate consumptive

I am still in high dudgeon after never receiving a watch with a liquid crystal display as a child. I shall pass on general principle.
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The immaculate consumptive

They do not require a step ladder to fill in the blanks while standing upright.
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The immaculate consumptive

For some years, I have, in the parlance of our times, "rocked the stubble". I find this accentuates my masculinity in a way that appears rather enticing to the fairer sex, particularly when juxtaposed with my rather precise and svelte attire.

I have recently flirted with the prospect of growing an immaculately groomed beard. To that end, on a recent vacation I allowed my beard to grow for fourteen days. However, I found that after the first seven days had transpired, I had began to shed particles of dead skin whenever I scratched my chin. Considering this is a habit of mine, it quickly became a veritable snowfall and I am still attempting to remove surplus to requirements epidermis from my mobile phone, personal computer and toothbrush.

My personal grooming is second to none. I regularly cleanse and moisturise, and wash my hair each day. However, when I have grown a beard and scratch my chin, any view from below could be a rather adroit simulation of marine snow.

Since I'll wager there are more than a few denizens of Current Events who find razors something of an anathema, I shall ask for advice.

How, pray tell, may I avoid beard dandruff?
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The immaculate consumptive

Dont expect a cat.
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The immaculate consumptive

omega cookie posted...

My buddy has a 8 month old, and I heard him say "Stop taking off your clothes, we're not that kinda family".

Laughed so hard I also shit myself.

I also heard "No, uh uh, you don't get to cry because I won't let you chew on the floor."

My daughter was utterly inconsolable the other night because we would not allow her to bake a cake for her grandmother at 10 in the evening.
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The immaculate consumptive

Doodle Bum Bum is not an acceptable form of greeting
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The immaculate consumptive

If that finger goes up my nose, I will be very cross with you.

Stop sticking your bottom in my face.

Cats are for patting, not for riding.
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The immaculate consumptive

I do not fear women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence
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The immaculate consumptive

Well, everyone needs a hobby.
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The immaculate consumptive

Awesome posted...

reminder that there were 10 foot roaches and sloths on this planet and humans had to fight them to survive.

Megatherium, yes. Ten foot cockroaches at the same time as humans? I suspect not.
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The immaculate consumptive

I simply adore home-made liqueur.

Vodka, a vanilla pod sliced lengthways and some secret spices*.

Steeped for a day and then decanted.

*Much like the freemasons and The Colonel, I shall not divulge my secrets.
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The immaculate consumptive

I have been playing a great deal of Endless Sky lately.
Of course, it is free.
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The immaculate consumptive

The business analysts I have come across have been employed to document BAU procedures, assist in codifying procedures and occasionally assist in making workflows more efficient.

Generally, they are as useful as a supernumerary nipple.
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The immaculate consumptive

Perhaps he is simply practicing trickle down economics?
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The immaculate consumptive

Personally, I am 5'9 and vacillate between 121 and 130 lbs. However, I prefer to keep myself svelte using a strict regimen of exercise.
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The immaculate consumptive

The Gimp is made to be used. Keep using the Gimp and learn all the secrets of the Gimp.
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The immaculate consumptive