Lurker > Pepys Monster

ITT: People complain about tame porn.
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GOML

She's still texting me. This is good.
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GOML

She wants to do something fun when she's in town. I'm totally making a move on her.
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GOML

She texted me Hey happy Thanksgiving gobble gobble! Send me ur address so I can send you a Christmas card! Hope all is well

Am I in?
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GOML

What sense does this make? I remind Hitler of who he is, but it's 2019. How does reminding him of who he is matter? He's not in 1944.
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GOML

If only she could set a bear trap without capturing a cat.
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GOML

coh posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

Most girls aren't actually good at sex. But they all think they are.

How does a woman need to be good at sex

as long as she's not just laying there it shouldn't be problem

I see that you're content with average at best sex.
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GOML

Most girls aren't actually good at sex. But they all think they are.
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GOML

nativengine posted...

Irony posted...

You take pictures of girls in public when they aren't looking. You deserve sadness

Seriously? Thats something I can put a stop to if you have proof.

Look at this creepy ass post.
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GOML

evil_zombie11 posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

I've got a date with a hot Latina. :)

Pics so we can see that's she's actually hot and you're not just clout chasing tbh

What have you guys done to deserve pics? You heckled me this whole topic instead of cheering me on or hoping for me to succeed. Obviously, she's hot if she's the first girl I asked out of the three. And they were all hot.
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GOML

I've got a date with a hot Latina. :)
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GOML

SF_Okami posted...

SauI_Goodman posted...

it's just not your thing. they would probably look at us and say "you spent how much on a video game?!"

Well for me it would be clothes not games. My friend wanted me to wear jeans to the bar but I refused, they way to valuable to bring to the bar lmao. I rarely buy games anymore. We never actually made it in one anyway

What did you wear to the bar then, sweatpants?
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GOML

Girl 1 replied.

Me: Hey [Name], it was fun hanging out with you. Would you like to have coffee with me sometime?

Her: Aw thanks! Sure.
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GOML

I like how all the armchair quarterbacks ITT are putting down my game, yet Im actually asking girls out.
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GOML

Girl 3

Me: Hey, how have you been? Would you like to go on a rave date sometime?

Her: Ive been trying to take a break from shows but if youre going to [Rave] Ill see you there!! :)
Ive been doin good, thanks for asking
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GOML

Now we wait for girl 1 and girl 3 to reply.
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GOML

The first girl hasnt read my message yet. But the second girl replied.

Me: Hey [Name], I gladly would have taken you to [Nightclub] tonight if I didnt have work. How would you like to be my rave bae and go to raves with me? Lets grab coffee sometime.

Her: No worries lol I have a boyfriend sorry
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GOML

I asked out the first girl. I have to get back to work. Ill ask the other two in two hours.
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GOML

Im kinda nervous. Here we go.
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GOML

And post their replies here.
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GOML

I'd say "Hi!" with too much enthusiasm, talk to her and try to get her Snapchat.
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GOML

I said "that's okay, you don't have to buy me dinner. Thank you, though." She said "K "
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GOML

How do I politely decline?
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GOML

Hell yeah. I like younger (but legal) girls.
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GOML

You moan your favorite pornstar's name?
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GOML

Tmaster148 posted...

No one is forcing you to post the made up scenarios.

I'm not, and I will block you if you accuse me of that one more time.
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GOML

Anyway, please stop posting in this topic if you find any of this funny. You aren't welcome here.
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GOML

Jiggy101011 posted...

Is TC the guy who was getting beat up by his ex and was complaining about bruising on his arm?

Either way, weird fucking gimmick even for CE.

I don't remember complaining about something as minor as a bruise. I would have scabs from her nails, bite marks, a bloody lip, etc.
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GOML

eston posted...

So since this was the last conversation he had with her, and he mentions multiple different trips he wants to take her on, the obvious implication is that TC has murdered his ex

We didn't go on either of those trips. She stopped replying and blocked me.
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GOML

Tmaster148 posted...

He hasn't really changed. He just now pretends he once was dating a 19 year old while still maintaining the "I can't get laid" gimmick on top of that.

I do get laid. WTF?
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GOML

Blue_Dream87 posted...

Wait was it TC who posted creep pics of their "cousin"

No.
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GOML

You watch some tame stuff.
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GOML

Ok centennial.
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GOML

LOL.
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GOML

I dont need to be happy or pursue happiness.
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GOML

One of them. Not my ex fiancee, though. :(
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GOML

Bernie should make his campaign slogan "You've got the right candidate in Bernie" and say that Joe Biden himself came up with it.
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GOML

He's trying to use reverse psychology. The question is, will it actually work?
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GOML

I think this is a legitimate accident, but doesn't this guy do stupid stuff on purpose to get people talking about him and keep him in the spotlight?
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GOML

I've banged 8 women, and my ex fiancee was the best. The second best girl was close, but doesn't want to hook up anymore anyway. So I might just quit sex and watch porn instead.
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GOML

evil_zombie11 posted...

Umm how old are you and her?

I'm 31, she's 19.
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GOML

June 14, 2019

Her: I wish you were there when I needed you
Where you now
Hello
Please be here soon

Me: Im here.

Her: Really

Me: Yes. I just got off of work.

Her: I'm having a panic attack

Me: Poor babe.

Her: Can I have your address so I can send you a colouring page
Can we have a good night call??

Me: Yeah!
Im going to drive home now.

Her: Text me when you get there

Me: Okay

Her: Thank you be safe please

Me: I just made it home.

Her: Good

Me: I am so tired. How are you doing?

Her: Idk it goes in waves hbu
Idk if I can do this I'm freaking out

Me: I think the goodnight call will help.

Her: How so

Me: Because you said my voice is soothing.

Her: I'm anxious about you

Me: What makes you anxious?

Her: Everything

Me: We still have to go on that trip to Yosemite.
I want to really do it.

Her: I cant do this

Me: What am I doing wrong?

Her: Nothing just my feelings still hurt I'm still scared

Me: That's understandable. Me too. But I've missed you.

Her: Me too..
Here?

Me: Yes, I'm here.
I miss hugging you.

Her: Me too

Me: I still want to take you to Disneyland as my little one.
Not sure which we'll do first.

Her: Hugs

Me: Hugs first?

Her: Mhm

Me: I would like that a lot.

Her: I'm scared

Me: I want to put your colorings on the fridge someday.

Her: Can I send you one

Me: Yes.

She never replied again after that.
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GOML

Because they see action movies and think they're going to get into an action-packed shootout instead of getting clapped.
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GOML

I barely even feel it.
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GOML

My ex fiancee ended up there, multiple times.
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GOML

How much does GameFAQs cost these days? Probably much less than what CJayC sold it for. Trump would get mad and buy GameFAQs, and then drain the swamp by banning all the mods, and appointing mods who don't lock topics for no reason.
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GOML

Probably. I've banged at least eight women.
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GOML

I too like 18 y/o girls.
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GOML

Because then I'd be giving up on my ex fiancee, and accepting defeat.

I'm 31.
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GOML