Lurker > Trigg3rH4ppy

Not really if we're being honest
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

They better not try to put it out with water. Baking soda or a pot lid works really well.
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

Where the fuck is golden axe boii he's always here when you do this topic
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

Uncle_Drew posted...

teepan95 posted...

I have no idea how people enjoy sex. It's too easy.

I like to think of myself as a pretty serious gamer. I've played all the "hard" games, such as Dark Souls, Dark Souls 2, Dark Souls 3, etc and I've destroyed them all. They weren't even remotely a challenge for me. I don't know if it's my quick reflexes or my tactical thinking, but if you put a video game in front of me, that game is going to be beat. The only thing that is getting in my way is a dead controller battery (and even then, I always carry backups at all times).

Lately, I've been getting into more physical activities to challenge me, as video games just do not cut it anymore. I've tried both team sports and solo activities, such as running or rock climbing, and as expected, I've dominated in each of them. However, I do find these activities fun as a change of pace from my usual gaming.

So when my new girlfriend (Michelle (pronounced Mish-elle)) asked if I wanted to try sex, I jumped at the opportunity. I've never had sex before (why waste my seed?) but I figured it would be a great chance to see if this is the ultimate test for my skills. I know lots of men brag about their sexual prowess, so I wanted to see if this was an adequate challenge for someone like me, or just another disappointment.

To prepare, we first engaged in what Michelle called "foreplay." This was almost pathetically easy; nothing but a bunch of open mouth kisses and rhythmic breast grabs. I even noticed Michelle had her eyes closed, which I think truly illustrates the simplicity of this phase of the sexual process.

After about ten minutes of that nonsense, we decided to go right into the main event, sexual intercourse. For weeks leading up to this moment, I had practiced throwing hoops of various sizes into the air and thrusting my penis through them, simulating what I expected sex to be like, and preparing for any moment. My precision had become unmatched.

So you can imagine my disappointment when Michelle took off her pants and all there was just one hole, and a stationary hole at that. I entered this hole with absolutely no difficulty, tried a few of the trick thrusts I had practiced at home, and 30 seconds later it was over.

After sex, I told Michelle that I had never been more disappointed in my entire life, and she agreed. How do people find any enjoyment in this? It reminded me of the quick time events in the video games I frequently dominate, only on a biological level.

Are people really such simpletons that this is a pleasurable activity for them, or am I missing something?

10/10

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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

Trigger Warning: he uses the hard R at one point but if you hate that keep listening you'll love the second half.

Mods that don't know who Joyner Lucas is: watch the whole video before hitting that ban button
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

glitteringfairy posted...

I really wish he'd use emojis in his tweets like in that one pic. That was fucking great

OMG someone please post this
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

bknight posted...

Fin_Dawg_004 posted...

bknight posted...

When I go to In-N-Out burger, I always ask for a cup without the bible verses, they get all pissy because they have to go to the back and get the blank cups. Then I bring back my burger and show them the verse on the paper wrapping bag and ask them to make me a new burger unwrapped, they get so mad.

you'll eat spit to spite jesus?

They have this stupid design in their restaurants where they cook everything in full view of the dining room, I just stand there and glare at them, sometimes they give me this coupon for a free combo.

That's why you spit in your glove before walking up to the cook area
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

I just go straight to the source
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

So....go spend $30 and get a nice fan.
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx

Trump:. AY YO IRAN YO MOM'S A BITCH
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~A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men ~
TWSSted since~ 3/27/12 https://imgur.com/zlaENmx