Lurker > Harpie

SSJ2GrimReaper posted...

record it for worldstar

lmao

Flintlock_Staff posted...

Harpie posted...

i didnt give her a brownie- more details coming soon

Don't lie to us

it's true! she barged in the room, took my blanket from me and then plopped on her bed
me: wow okay be like that, i was gonna give you a whole box of brownies but i guess not anymore
her: yeah right
me: pulls out pizza hut brownies entirely untouched except for a single bite because i hated it
her: omg can i have one?? :0
me: *being petty* nope i'll give it to (other sister) instead!
her: wow fuck you too *storms off in heaping sobs*

in her defense she was probably already upset to begin with, but the lack of brownies pushed her over the edge
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hi there :3

Guys I can tell already that this is not gonna go down well for me. Based on the fact that this happens at least once a week, I can predict the next series of events

1) stepmom will leave, slam the door and not come back for a day or two
2) dad will proceed to throw a tantrum
3) somehow without me being in the equation at all, he will find something to get mad at me for
4) will proceed to scream at me for several hours. ie yell at me for five minutes, slam my door and walk off, then come back and yell at me some more, then slam door and walk off, (repeat this cycle 50 times)
5) if i do anything out of line as defined by him during any of this i will be knocked out into next week
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UPDATE: stepmom is now screaming at my dad about how he has no money, no job and that she is gonna leave him

all in the strongest filipino accent youve ever heard
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LedZeppelin posted...

Harpie posted...

kingdrake2 posted...

damn 500$ lotta money.

Yeah he just got a new PS4 because he broke his old one, and instead of redownloading his old games from the cloud he rebought them

sounds like hes a little bit special lol

He is literally autistic so you're not wrong
yes mods he has been diagnosed with autism since the age of three dont crucify me

Cheater87 posted...

How did he not know you could redownload them?

see above
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Darkman124 posted...

Harpie posted...

stepmom

how the hell did your dad get remarried

because he hides his narcissistic personality until youre trapped with him
he's also a very, very good manipulator and can be very persuasive and good with words when he wants to be. He used to make hundreds of thousands by doing just that for a big automotive company

eggcorn posted...

you should celebrate the turn of events by bellowing laughter joyously.

what could go wrong

Guerrilla Soldier posted...

damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Greenfox111 posted...

yikes dude

help

3khc posted...

Harpie posted...

my stepmom is crying because she hates my dad

Cheer her up with your penis.

i would if i could man
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kingdrake2 posted...

damn 500$ lotta money.

Yeah he just got a new PS4 because he broke his old one, and instead of redownloading his old games from the cloud he rebought them
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Turbam posted...

At least your bro ain't crying

Oh he is, he feels really guilty but he's more frustrated crying that he got caught than anything else
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Spooking posted...

Too many onions!

wahhhhhhhhhhhh

SSJ2GrimReaper posted...

Yeah!! SLAMMING!

HELL YEAH
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my 15 year old sister is crying because her boyfriend broke up with her and also i didnt give her a brownie- more details coming soon

my dad is crying because my 16 year old brother spent over $500 on steam

my stepmom is crying because she hates my dad

and im hiding in my room because i know stepping out of here would be like stomping on land mines but honestly doing pretty okay right now
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it's usually the opposite!
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Darkrobotisback posted...

Harpie posted...

That is an awful photo

Wut happened to you, you look like a train wreck.
No offense!

EVERYONE HAS AWKWARD PHASES IN THEIR LIFE OKAY
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I've always been under the impression that bisexuals find only two genders attractive, but those genders can be cis or trans as long as they identify one way or the other.

Pansexuality is finding attraction to anyone. They can be attracted to people that are gender fluid, androgynous or otherwise don't identify as strictly a man or a woman.
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joestarrr posted...

Harpie posted...

joestarrr posted...
a few, probably

make sure they all have the same first letter of their names

Ehhhh that's as bad as people who name their kids something like Kayleigh or Ryleigh (you know the sort of people I'm talking about)

Or bratleigh, as I like to call them

It's funny though
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Reis posted...

Harpie posted...

Are you saying 2 because you want 2 kids or is it something you see an inevitable

It's something I see as inevitable yes

But do you want 2 kids?

Why is it inevitable
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but what if i wanna make topics about seducing bae
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scorpion41 posted...

I have one with one on the way. Thats all I need

When's #2 coming?

Unspecified_NPC posted...

1 because you are my favorite fetal

<33333

Ruvan22 posted...

Harpie posted...

dont mind me, just collecting data for science

Are the kids calling it "data" these days? my my...

Yes, I will be keeping these results as part of a ce-xperiment that will eventually be statistics
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Muffinz0rz posted...

zero because i value the ability to ever do anything i might want to do at some point in time ever again

I agree, why have kids when you could just.. not?

Reis posted...

I always joke around and say zero but I know it's an eventuality so I'd say 2 tops

Are you saying 2 because you want 2 kids or is it something you see an inevitable

joestarrr posted...

a few, probably

make sure they all have the same first letter of their names

Aeriis posted...

0 because life is suffering

I laughed at blatant truth of this, then I got sad

Thanks for the rollercoaster
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dont mind me, just collecting data for science
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why do i have you tagged as "creep"
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TheCrimsonAngel posted...

Harpie posted...

I may have SBAllen, but you have all of ce praising your cuteness

I gotta rock.

Please, everytime you post a selfie you get oages upon pages of responses saying how beautiful you are q:
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That is an awful photo
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treewojima posted...

then you'll really be bringing home the bacon

like TC wishes she could

what are you trying to say

no, really. i dont get it lmao

Muffinz0rz posted...

Harpie posted...

SBAllen your harassment is my fetish

;00000

DocileOrangeCup posted...

Wtf Allen you never give me this kind of attention :_:

WHY DO YOU NEVER LOOK AT ME DURING

because SBAllen is MY bae
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Cocytus posted...

Harpie posted...

If there is WATER in the AIR it is raining

Untrue.

Yes, it was water FALLING from the SKY

dat rain boi

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

*winks*

C'mere cutie ;)

dib153 posted...

This topic went places I dont think anybody could have forseen

SBAllen is my bae so I'm not sure how you expected anything different

Aeriis posted...

Cute AND gets attention from SBallen. Im jealous.

I may have SBAllen, but you have all of ce praising your cuteness
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EverDownward posted...

SBAllen posted...

Hi

Allen, go back to making changes to the site nobody asked for or even saw coming. We don't need you harassing an 18 year old girl.

Excuse me this 18 year old girl can speak for herself

SBAllen your harassment is my fetish
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FridgeBeard posted...

But that's not rain anymore

Listen boi, I am a cali transplant. If there is WATER in the AIR it is raining

But yes you're mostly right, it's been murderously hot the last several days. Today isn't so bad but I'm really wishing that AC was standard here
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FridgeBeard posted...

... No it didn't. It's been in the high temps all week. I came into work at 6:00 and the streets weren't wet on my walk.

It was drizzling like 2.5 hours ago. It wasn't "wet" per se but there was PRECIPITATION on my GLASSES
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FridgeBeard posted...

But it hasn't rained in Seattle anyway
You stopped nothing

Lies! It rained this morning! And I'm pretty sure the day before yesterday
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SBAllen posted...

Harpie posted...

SBAllen posted...

Harpie posted...

I spent hours slaving over this.

It took you hours to write something on paper and hold it up to take a picture? Someone needs to work on their time management skills.

Yes! I spent hours writing out that message, so much thought and love went into those words. Every FIBER of my being was being poured onto that flashcard. I moved MOUNTAINS and made the rain stop in Seattle for you so I could get the perfect lighting. All for you, my bae

Can you make it stop raining here for a while? Visiting the in-laws and the kids wanna play outside but it's rainy and gross.

I can only control the weather in cities that I am already in. It would be an outreach of my power to do so anywhere else

But here is proof of my work. Look at the times of which there was the least amount of clouds.


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why
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SBAllen posted...

Harpie posted...

I spent hours slaving over this.

It took you hours to write something on paper and hold it up to take a picture? Someone needs to work on their time management skills.

Yes! I spent hours writing out that message, so much thought and love went into those words. Every FIBER of my being was being poured onto that flashcard. I moved MOUNTAINS and made the rain stop in Seattle for you so I could get the perfect lighting. All for you, my bae
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Muffinz0rz posted...

Harpie posted...

Do you remember spotted dick?

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SBAllen posted...

Hi

I spent hours slaving over this. Blood, sweat and tears and all you say is "Hi"??

UNBELIEVABLE
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TheCrimsonAngel posted...

SBAllen using his own site to hook up with 18 year olds. For shame, that's the users job.

sballen can do no wrong

dib153 posted...

Big_Nabendu posted...

Have you ever been roasted?

Yesm

Muffinz0rz posted...

Harpie posted...

maybe this sign pic would be yours but you played hard to get

WHAT

WHEN

also



i tried

Do you remember spotted dick?

lmao i love it

brotrrwinner posted...

Nice glasses grandma

thanks i got them from an actual grandma

JustMyOpinion posted...

You look much older than your actual age.

good joke
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YoungMakaiyum posted...

Barry the banana was not vulgars account, but the owner of the account let vulgar borrow it to post that. Carlbertomfg ThatMuttGuy

This, Berry was just a bananaman
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cellus523 posted...

Harpie posted...

it here

Looks good, damn shame you cant share it.

Also i feel inclined to ask, why food as a void fill and not any other kind of binge behavior?

The brownies are shit, so I'm giving those to my sister. The cookies I will finish off throughout the next week or so

I mean, it's a better alternative to what I used to do when I was overwhelmed
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Harpie posted...

dib153 posted...

Plz show pics of swimmy bois

okay gimme a sec :3

it's kinda hard to see the blue fishys but they there

xBloodBrotherx posted...

Weren't you and your sister competing to lose weight in time for the summer? What ever happened with that?

She decided to move in with her bf and I haven't heard from her since
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dib153 posted...

Plz show pics of swimmy bois

okay gimme a sec :3
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weekoldhotdog posted...

you WON'T eat all that to yourself, even if you had a month to do it

You right lmao

But still

Scotty_Rogers posted...

Harpie posted...

No one. Absolutely no one.

Really sorry to hear that. Honestly, though, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and just do something already. Stop the binge posting. Stop posting on CE. Get up and make a difference already. It may seem impossible, but you can certainly turn your life around.

Wow I have a lot to say to this. Firstly, thanks for assuming I'm just sitting on my ass doing nothing and acting all "woe is me"
No. I have a reason to be sad. I have been working my ass off trying to save money, look for affordable housing and working as much as possible all while trying to keep it on the down low because if I dad finds out I've been hoarding money, he will take it from me.

I searched for months trying to find a 40 hour job that wouldn't make me hate myself. I know how I am and if I'm forced to work something I am miserable at I know I will slip back into a deep dark depression. So I finally found something.

Then last week they cut me from 36-40 hours a week to 15. I cannot live off 15 hours a week. Then they also told me after the fact that if I fail to meet quota then I will be fired at the end of the month. You know what that means? It means I can't move out next month. It means I am stuck here, where my self worth is grinded down further and further each passing day by my dad that makes me feel like the gum on the bottom of his shoe.

I have been TRYING to make a difference in my life. You have no idea how much I want it. You have no idea what it's like being screamed at every single day and being literally tossed around. And you also have no idea how frustrating it is to keep seeing my effort and work and hopes and dreams just slip from my hands time and time again.

Thanks but fuck off with that bullshit.
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Reis posted...

Damn that's more calories than I eat in 2 days, possibly 3

Tbh I'm probably not gonna eat more than 300-400 calories worth before I give it all away to my sister

PiOverlord posted...

Where's the Stuffed Crust pizza from the Hut?!? That is the best pizza by far.

Never had it, it sounds weird

weekoldhotdog posted...

Get AWAY from her, she's mine! I mean, my friend's!

Either way, seat's taken!

volks you couldnt be possessive in a topic where i was being cute? like my sign pic for bae????

dib153 posted...

What is that blue glow I see on those boxes?

Fish tank!
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it here


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Scotty_Rogers posted...

Do you have other family that you can move in with? Friends?

No one. Absolutely no one.

Re-iNcarnated posted...

dammnit tc keep up, you lack of insight into the worlds issues is becoming worrisome

yes

MetaMajik posted...

Harpie posted...

I will always be single

Why?

Because I have debilitating trust issues

Goats posted...

You should try going for a run instead. The endorphins exercise releases are so much better of a feeling than stuffing your face will give you. I've been where you are, it's not fun at all ekans.

I should. I really shoulf
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Re-iNcarnated posted...

Can you count to 5 decimal points of the Pithagoras theorem? I didn't think so, better recognise.

isnt that just a^2 + b^2 = c^2? where are you getting five points???

Scotty_Rogers posted...

Still living with your abusive father?

Yes and also things aren'g going well. My hours were dramatically cut at my new job and I'll probably be fired at the end of the month. So that means I wont be able to move out soon.

It's extremely depressing

weekoldhotdog posted...

Are you still single? asking for a friend.

I will always be single, no need to ask

bob742omb posted...

no wonder you use angles in your pictures

dont forget the filters to hide my dark circles and horrible skin texture!

Re-iNcarnated posted...

I got told by some random father of some guy I never met, that his son is an actuary student. He also felt it was very important that i know that its top 3 degree in uni. Old people are fun.

Top 3 of what. What does that even mean

old people are lame
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dib153 posted...

Thats it? Just those 2 items? How is that 3k+ calories? We need pics

CE loves food pics, but aeriis never delivers

Yes they are extremely calorie intensive. I will post pics when I get it, it's a delivery from pizza hut so it'll be a while

how dare she tease us like that!
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Re-iNcarnated posted...

Would you date a doctor, an IT specialist or an engineer?

Or better yet, an actuary guy? What the fuck is an actuary guy anyway, sounds like a short name for an actuator.

Why wouldn't I date those kinds of people

what is an actuary guy
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HashtagTartarus posted...

If you have a spaceship located on the origin of a graph and pointing upwards, how many degrees clockwise would you need to turn the spaceship for it to point at 32, 73?

three fiddy
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dib153 posted...

Will this be your one meal of the day? What'd you order?

Nope!

Hersheys triple chocolate brownie and the ultimate hersheys chocolate chip cookie
from pizza hut
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i cant cope with life and i am using food to fill the void

AMA
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Muffinz0rz posted...

muffin pls

maybe this sign pic would be yours but you played hard to get

gatorsPENSbucs posted...

What a kiss ass.

And stick with the blonde.

sballen and i are practically married what are you talking about

butt y
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YoungMakaiyum posted...

just older

lmao
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SpinKirby posted...

ThatMuttGuy posted...

Still a better love story than smoliske and joestarrr

nothing can get in the way of sballen and i's love

YoungMakaiyum posted...

i taxed your idea fam

THEIF
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