Lurker > captpackrat

Meanwhile Henry Kissinger is still alive and they haven't done anything about him...

Therac-25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap0orGCiou8

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/6/4/AAQwHjAADzkg.jpg

The classified documents thing would be a federal case, so he'd most likely be sent to a federal prison.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/2/2/AAQwHjAAESsC.jpg

St Patrick's Day and Halloween you don't get time off, but between the two, you have to spend more money for Halloween to bribe kids to not deface your house.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/8/2/AAQwHjAAESlK.jpg

ParanoidObsessive posted...

"Open Image in New Tab"
Zoom 200%
Profit

Hold down the CTRL key and scroll your mouse wheel.

If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where fashion sits?
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/1/4/AAQwHjAAESg-.jpg

Lord_Shadow posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/5/6/AAQ1TYAAESZ0.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3avZE7T0cg

The great thing about mayo is that it mixes with almost every other condiment or sauce.

Mayo + hot sauce = Great dip for French fries
Mayo + mustard = Good on burgers
Mayo + ketchup = This is already a commercial product
Mayo + wasabi = Again, you can buy this
Mayo + BBQ sauce = Another good fry sauce
Mayo + soy sauce = With sesame, makes a great dip
Mayo + vinegar = Creamy vinaigrette dressing for salads
Mayo + relish = With a few more ingredients you have tartar sauce

There's a reason mayonnaise is one of the French mother sauces.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/1/6/AAQwHjAAESS8.jpg

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Make sure that you get an ool. You don't want one with p in it.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/6/7/AAQwHjAAESL7.jpg

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Deluxe American.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/1/4/AAQwHjAAESDS.jpg

They're pro-birth. Once the kid is born, they don't care what happens to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5Q1yVLSR3I

Like, gag me with a spoon!

It used to take a lot longer to do stuff. Before computers everything had to be done on paper. People had to use typewriters (go far enough back, and they were mechanical), and documents had to be stored in file cabinets. Researching information required making phone calls, consulting books, and going to the library.

That's where the three martini lunch came from.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/2/1/AAQwHjAAERyN.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIo9UXSaxFI

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/4/5/AAQwHjAAERt5.jpg

What would happen if you put an egg in a deep fryer?

The Sound of Music, I guess.

If you expand it to include Academy Award nominees, it would have to be either Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I made a park where all the roller coasters made everybody sick so there was barf literally everywhere.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/8/9/AAQwHjAAERjp.jpg
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738.84 g lateral
471.15 g positive
0 g negative

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/9/1/AAQwHjAAERjr.jpg

Zareth posted...

"This is my son, DIAMOND"
Said literally nobody ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfU4PKgmJc

Baby goats are the best.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/0/0/AAQwHjAAERfI.jpg

Pokemon Trainer Red Five, standing by

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/7/6/2/AAQwHjAAERYS.png

What will you do when the label comes off
And the plastic's all melted
And the chrome is too soft?

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/9/1/AAQwHjAAERVn.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVTD-LtpW0M

Stupid wasps started building a nest inside my mailbox. Got stung when I went to get the mail.

I emptied an entire can of bug spray into the mailbox.

It was really cool and gross when the larvae started falling out of the nest.

IronBornCorps posted...

between hot sauce and ranch.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/9/2/AAQwHjAAERUE.jpg

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Moon Unit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxnvxtYfsd4

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/7/5/3/AAQwHjAAERIh.jpg

Zareth posted...

When I was a kid I spun the teacups like as fast as they could go and didn't get sick, I wonder if I still could

I did weight lifting when I was in high school so I had tons of upper body strength, and I'd figured out the physics of the ride so I knew just when to start pulling to get the maximum speed. I would get those things going so fast that I had bystanders comment on it afterwards. It was fun getting out and not being able to walk in a straight line.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEfH_hGFrGI

Tipping does have its uses, when you tip well and go to the same place on a regular basis. My spouse and I used to go to Sizzler every Friday after work. He'd leave an absurdly large tip, sometimes as much as 50%, and they treated us like gods. They'd leave the iced tea pitcher at our table for my spouse, and they'd bring me a whole plate full of cheese toast.

In most states, if you give an employee a tip, their boss doesn't have to pay them as much money, so you're not helping the employee, you're helping the business owner.

It varies from state to state, but in most states, "tipped employees" have a much lower minimum wage rate than regular employees. In Nebraska, for instance, the minimum wage rate for tipped employees is $2.13 per hour.

Now, the Fair Labor Standards Act requires that all employees receive at least the federal minimum wage ($7.25) for their combined minimum wage rate plus tips, so if someone receives very poor tips their employer must make up the difference. Individual states can set their own higher minimums; Nebraska, for instance, has a minimum wage of $10.50, so any employee who does not make $8.37 in tips must be paid the difference by their employer.

Alaska, California, Guam, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington require the employer to pay the minimum wage as the base rate, plus tips on top of that.

I got kicked in the shin by my horse. It was my fault, though. She had her head underneath the deck and the stallion had been bothering her all day. I walked up behind her and patted her on the rump and she kicked backwards and caught me right on the shin bone. Fortunately she's only a mini so it didn't break anything, but it still knocked me down and I couldn't stand up for almost half an hour. It left a really nasty bruise that took weeks to clear up.

But it was my own fault. You should never walk up behind a horse without making some noise so they know you're there. (And standing directly behind a horse is generally a bad idea.)

She had such a look of concern on her face when she realized she kicked me instead of the stallion.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/4/9/AAQwHjAAERDx.jpg

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Me fail English? That's unpossible!

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It sucks because it was just starting to get light while I do my morning exercise, and now it'll be pitch black again for a month or two.