Lurker > es289408

I would call random pizza huts all across the country and have food delivered to random nearby addresses. It might get tedious doing it everyday but Im sure theres a Pizza Hut app that lets you place automatic reoccurring orders.

Tens of thousands in court fines and fees

Happy Gilmore, thats a good one

I think I cracked a rib.

Giving me oral pleasure?

Im from Dayton too

I called to place a carry out order at a pizza restaurant, dude asked me how much I wanted to tip, imagine a bartender asking you how much you want to tip

My aunt and uncle had one

Before getting into bed with a woman, we have to ask are you a dude?.

Kyle?

Mrs. Robinson, youre trying to seduce me. Arent you?

Drug

Must go faster

I dont like how they put the defibrillator on the support class, I wish I could play the support class with just c4 and the ammo crate like in battlefield 4

They mostly come out at night. Mostly

WD-40 and a lighter

Being at work on your birthday is better than being in jail on your birthday, trust me

My friend is 37 and still lives in his moms basement

I read Cape buffalo kill more people each year than any other animal in Africa

Benchmade knives

Glory

Not eleven

Mike

Probably people who laugh really, really, really hard at their own jokes that arent funny at all.

Yeah I sold my cz527 and now they dont make them with a walnut stock

Id be honest but Im sure I would be moderated

Theres a time and a place for everything, and its called

For some reason I will just chug some really cold water first thing in the morning, no coffee; but Ive withdrawn from other stuff before its no fun

I was going to say Jill and I thought I would be the only one saying it but I guess not

Probably that crazy gun nut guy from tremors

Sabin from final fantasy

I ate a lot of Xanax my senior year

More power! (Tim Allen style grunting)

Tomato, it is REALLY good tasting, I used to go to a bar that put tomato jam on a few of their sandwiches

I have a feeling that this one has been mentioned already and is hidden somewhere in one of those YouTube links but here goes:

I wash myself with a rag on a stick

After I pee? No. After I poop? Different story

Ohhhhh yes. I used to work for Procter and gamble, they had charmin ultra strong in the bathrooms, and bounty paper towels in the break rooms. It sucked when I stopped working there, I had to start buying toilet paper and paper towels

No, Tipp City

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord, He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored, He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword, His truth is marching on. Glory, glory hallelujah

He then exchanged his friends for a needle and a spoon and he threw his future away

I loved my dad he was probably my best friend I could call him and talk to him about anything whenever, really miss him

Mr. and Mrs. Bighead

Dayton flyers are the best

Get a ballistol tshirt theyre bright green as heck and cheap too

Now its time to erase the story of our bogus fate, our history as its portrayed is just a recipe for hate

Try bad religion

Just get bagels

I wanted to be on summer sanders

Too many to count

That one turtle in the background looks like she could use a few less pizzas

I read the revenant by Michael punke the other day it was really good