Eating smoked salmon makes me think about how nice it'd be to be a bear

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Current Events » Eating smoked salmon makes me think about how nice it'd be to be a bear
out in the wilderness, unbothered, finding a creek and being able to catch his own smoked salmon he can eat all to himself without a care in the world. He's got no real predators other than other bears.

Epitome of no-hassle food. Not tough to bite or swallow, flavorful, some substance but not a delicacy. Imagine if the only thing you had to worry about in your day was catching the next one, and once you get it, you conquered the day.
Competing every night, both ends, shoot inside/outside, fast break, transition, Monta Ellis have it all
KaZooo posted...
out in the wilderness, unbothered, finding a creek and being able to catch his own smoked salmon
umm
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DoesntMatter posted...
umm
In some rivers, salmon are smoked by the waters. These are secret rivers that only bears know the locations of
That's why he's called Smokey the Bear
http://i.imgur.com/XAMp8.jpg
Post #5 was unavailable or deleted.
You haven't seen those videos with bears literally shitting clumps of tapeworms
I caught a 20 lb smoked salmon once using a beer can tab and a ball of yarn.
akura_integra posted...
You haven't seen those videos with bears literally shitting clumps of tapeworms
god that's terrible I guess it sucks to be a bear
Competing every night, both ends, shoot inside/outside, fast break, transition, Monta Ellis have it all
When fattening up for hibernation, bears eat mostly just the skin of salmon.
And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life?
It's Guide
akura_integra posted...
You haven't seen those videos with bears literally shitting clumps of tapeworms
hi how do I unread a post

sometimes I think about what being an animal actually would be like. different obviously. way too different.
Born to lose, live to win!
I got tired of the AbsolutelyNoOne joke.
Also very few bears actually have access to salmon. Most likely you're going to be lifting up boulders and eating all the insect grub hiding underneath. Mostly moth larva.
It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
https://i.imgur.com/dQgC4kv.jpg
Smokey the bear is a moron, why is this idiot putting out forest fires when it's a perfectly good source of smoked salmon
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I forget who I was watching, but they were watching bears fish, and apparently the salmon run either this year or that week was so plentiful the bears were just sitting and plucking them calmly out of the water with no effort. They didn't even have to try.
[05:45:34] I bought an American L and it was like a tent
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I realized the gifs prob aren't allowed anymore
If salmon knew how good they tasted, they'd be okay with us eating them. They would not have the malice to deny humans such deliciousness.

They'd probably eat each other before we could get to them, though.

Smoked salmon stinks up the whole place and smells terrible.
WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
Kisai posted...
Smoked salmon stinks up the whole place and smells terrible.
https://youtu.be/CXArovLJ60A
LURKING HARD!
or hardly lurking, see?
Other bear beats you up cause that is his creek.

Then comes winter
FF_Redux posted...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/df4e8451.jpg

yo
Post #20 was unavailable or deleted.
KaZooo posted...
out in the wilderness, unbothered, finding a creek and being able to catch his own smoked salmon he can eat all to himself without a care in the world. He's got no real predators other than other bears.

Epitome of no-hassle food. Not tough to bite or swallow, flavorful, some substance but not a delicacy. Imagine if the only thing you had to worry about in your day was catching the next one, and once you get it, you conquered the day.

A wild hairless ape appears.

"YOU! HEY YOU! YOU BEAR!" *bangs pans* "Begone with you!" *throws rocks* "You're ruining my scenic hike! The ranger said not to give you food, so you get none... now GIT!"
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes, 'cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose. - Everlast
KaZooo posted...
god that's terrible I guess it sucks to be a bear

but it is hip to be a square
mercurydude posted...
A wild hairless ape appears.

"YOU! HEY YOU! YOU BEAR!" *bangs pans* "Begone with you!" *throws rocks* "You're ruining my scenic hike! The ranger said not to give you food, so you get none... now GIT!"

Alternative hairless ape encounter, with the ranger in question

You smell a tasty morsel somewhere and it's driving you crazy. The last time you encountered a yummy smell was in the same area and it was just a small piece of discarded food, but you hope for better luck this time, so you go to investigate. Then you suddenly feel a sting, you get woozy and pass out. When you come to, there's a pain in your butt and in your mouth, where a tooth has been removed, and you're donning a new earring, which is quite disturbing to you because bears neither naturally wear earrings or know what they are. Unbeknownst to you, even the passerby hairless apes have been allowed to "pet" you and take degrading photographs of you with the ranger's approval, then your body has been dragged near the stinky privy so it's the first smell you'll encounter when you come to, for there is no humilation that a "problem bear" will be spared.
Like, whoa m8.

If I was a bear I'd be pretty far from any campgrounds. Ain't no way hairless apes are hanging around the smoked salmon reserve of rushing waters.
Competing every night, both ends, shoot inside/outside, fast break, transition, Monta Ellis have it all
akura_integra posted...
You haven't seen those videos with bears literally shitting clumps of tapeworms
So do you look this stuff up or what
Arguing on CE be all like:
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Kisai posted...
Smoked salmon stinks up the whole place and smells terrible.

I can only imagine how great it is to be a bear tbh. You wake up in your cave after sleeping for like 4 months straight and go out and pick fresh smoked salmon from the salmon tree and shit wherever you want.
The shadows I live with are numberless
Go watch a bear fight on YouTube and then tell me you'd still want to be a bear. They are fascinatingly horrific. I guess you can just be a cowardly bear and run away when another challenges you, though. Or use your intellect to bait the aggressive one off a cliff.
Currently playing: Tales of the Abyss (PS2), Shenmue 2 (Steam), Xenoblade Chronicles 2
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Pow_Pow_Punishment posted...
Go watch a bear fight on YouTube and then tell me you'd still want to be a bear. They are fascinatingly horrific. I guess you can just be a cowardly bear and run away when another challenges you, though. Or use your intellect to bait the aggressive one off a cliff.

I mean I'd feel a lot more confident fighting a bear if I was a bear. All the videos of bear fighting I see they both live in the end one just walks away in shame.
It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
https://i.imgur.com/dQgC4kv.jpg
Tyranthraxus posted...
I mean I'd feel a lot more confident fighting a bear if I was a bear. All the videos of bear fighting I see they both live in the end one just walks away in shame.
At least some of them have to have a slow death via infection.

:(
And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life?
It's Guide
FF_Redux posted...
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nature is beautiful
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Tyranthraxus posted...
I mean I'd feel a lot more confident fighting a bear if I was a bear. All the videos of bear fighting I see they both live in the end one just walks away in shame.
There's a LOT of pain leading up to that conclusion, sometimes expressed in the form of one bear shitting itself, and sometimes an agonizing death afterwards.
Currently playing: Tales of the Abyss (PS2), Shenmue 2 (Steam), Xenoblade Chronicles 2
Training log: https://powpowpunishment.blogspot.com
https://youtu.be/6BH-Rxd-NBo?si=uA6ar-EmbWGWth-f
Bears don't get bagels, though. Unless they're smarter than the av-e-rage bear.
Currently playing: Tales of Graces f (Switch)
Never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.
Current Events » Eating smoked salmon makes me think about how nice it'd be to be a bear