Lurker > Robazoid

Well, it turned out that I wasn't heading to the final dungeon after all. Partway there, Cait Sith informed everyone about a problem in Midgar. With Rufus dead, his various underlings have been unleashed. Hojo is the biggest danger since he's going to use the cannon to feed energy to Sephiroth. Heidegger and Scarlet taking over would be bad too. The only good guy is Reeve, who I remembered being in one cutscene way earlier in the game. He was against dropping the structural plate. I didn't think much of that at the time, because... I mean, doing such a horrific thing to a bunch of innocent civilians is something most people would balk at. I guess that was supposed to be a clue, though. Reeve is the one controlling Cait Sith! That's good to know I suppose, but I barely know Reeve so it isn't an earthshattering revelation or anything.

After turning the airship around, everyone parachuted into Midgar in a cool scene. The areas here were huge with lots of ladders and screen transitions, but I had fun exploring them and finding all the items. I ran into the Turks in a tunnel, but they seemed reluctant to fight and I decided to let them go in peace. Scarlet and Heidegger, however, got no such mercy. Their robot was the Proud Clod. They seriously called it that. With haste, regen, and eventually an Omnislash, I annihilated it. Then came the fight against Hojo, where the party learned... gasp, he's Sephiroth's father! I already knew that thanks to the Vincent encounter, but I guess everyone forgot. I ran past Vincent on my way up to this battle, as if the game was reminding me about the promise that he'd get a chance to fight the evil scientist. This close to the end of the game, though, I don't want to worry about training anyone new. Vincent will just have to be happy Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie got revenge for him. Hojo had three forms and took awhile to kill, but he wasn't too bad. If only Cloud had been allowed to kill him on the beach way earlier in the game, then none of this would've happened.

After that, it was finally time to go to the final dungeon for real. First, though, Cloud wanted everyone to take a day to really consider what they were fighting for. It would've been nice to see where everyone went (I can only imagine Yuffie looting a Materia shop or something), but all I got to see was Tifa and Cloud. They had a nice moment together on a hillside, talking about their relationship. Then they spent the night together (in a chaste way), and Tifa got to lean against him. Aww, how cute. Maybe those two will get together after all. Everyone else returned to the airship too, even Yuffie! It was a hilarious scene where Barret doubted her, but was at least glad that she didn't steal all their Materia this time. Then Yuffie dropped from the ceiling acting all indignant... for about thirty seconds before she had to run off to her usual motion sickness vomit spot. Yuffie is the greatest.

In fact, just to illustrate Yuffie's greatness, let me tell you about what she was thinking about as the party headed off to the final battle. Barret was worried. Red XIII was worried. Tifa wasn't worried, but only because the boy she likes told her everything would be fine in a really cool way. But was Yuffie worried? No! She was already looking ahead at the future as if their victory was assured. All she wanted was for Cloud to sign a contract stating that all the Materia would become hers after they beat Sephiroth. Sure, Cloud refused to sign, but you can't blame a girl for trying.

I took one last look at my equipment and Materia, and then I saved for the night because I don't think I have time for a big final dungeon. It's looking like I'll beat the game tomorrow or Saturday, though, so get ready for the thrilling conclusion!

Zombie Shakespeare

UshiromiyaEva posted...

Crunchyroll used AI to translate that Yuzuki Family show and got caught with their asses hanging out, because it fucked up big time and nobody reviewed it before upload, lol.

I checked the reddit thread for some examples, lol

"I've been lack of sleep"

Lord Huggington

I'll begin today's update with a confession. I checked a guide for how to get the level 4 limit breaks for Cloud, Yuffie, and Tifa. I didn't want to miss out on them. Turns out I already had Yuffie's from the Wutai tower, she just can't learn it until she gets her second level 3. As for Tifa, I never would've figured out this piano otherwise. Even after looking up the song I needed to play, the keyboard controls were so wonky that it took me several tries to input it. As for Cloud, that involved doing a few rounds in the Battle Arena. At level 50, with a ribbon, a super powerful sword I found, and the Counterattack materia, it was pretty easy. After three rounds in there, I had learned Omnislash!

I also went to the mansion's basement as you guys suggested, and I'm glad I did. It filled in the gap between the Nibelheim disaster and Cloud and Zack escaping. Sadly, Zack got killed right away by some regular soldiers. For a guy in SOLDIER, Zack isn't very tough, is he? I liked how he wanted to go back and see Aeris, though. At least he didn't forget about her like she'd feared. I would've been disappointed if the story never filled in this information, so I'm glad I saw this cutscene.

Anyway, getting back to the plot, I headed over to Junon and fought my way onto a submarine. There was one robot boss who gave me a bit of trouble when it picked up Cloud and kept punching him, but I managed to kill it with Yuffie's limit break. Next came the submarine minigame. It gave me a ten minute timer, but I locked onto the enemy sub right away and won in thirty seconds. After that, I had a submarine to explore under the sea. This was a nice surprise! I wasn't expecting another vehicle after the airship. I did a loop around the ocean and found a weird key in a cave. Then I found a cave that expanded on Vincent's backstory a little bit. He was in love with a girl, but she fell for Hojo instead (man, Hojo must just be the sexiest guy in the universe). Then Vincent got shot and experimented on. The biggest revelation here was that Hojo and the lady scientist are Sephiroth's real parents. I guess that makes more sense than it literally being Jenova, I don't see those weird monster fragments getting pregnant even if Hojo probably is depraved enough to have try having sex with them (for science, of course).

The next thing that I found underwater was a crashed airplane. I went inside, easily killed the Turks who were trying to salvage it, and then... I nearly died to the first random encounter. The monsters in this place were hard! Even with my overleveled party, every battle was a struggle. At least the insane loot here made it all worthwhile. The sword I found here for Cloud, plus the Double Cut Materia, really helped out when I finally went and did the Battle Arena. I also saw a big green thing swimming around in the depths, but I can recognize a superboss when I see it. Maybe I'll go back and fight it later, but for now I used my Reaper Leviathan dodging skills from Subnautica and stayed the hell away from it.

After this, the party flew over to the rocket town. Even though I'd stolen every single Huge Materia, Shinra was still planning to launch it at the meteor. Cloud, Yuffie, and Tifa had no problem fighting their way onboard. Then Cid forced his way into the party (ugh) and immediately decided he didn't want to stop the launch after all (UGH). Cloud made a great point about the Huge Materia having a ton of knowledge that could help defeat Sephiroth. But nope, Cid only cares about fulfilling his dream of going into space. I know this because, the instant he got into space, he was like "lol that's checked off my bucket list, okay I don't care anymore, let's abort the plan". Cid is the absolute worst. He couldn't even remember the password to his own rocket, forcing me to brute force it in a dumb minigame (thankfully there weren't that many possible combinations once he gave me a few clues). The only thing that slightly redeemed him was that he realized Shera was right all those years ago. I still hate Cid, but I'm glad he toned down his awfulness by at least 1%.

The rocket, predictably since it had no Materia on it, failed to do anything to the meteor. Having no other ideas, the crew decided to head over to Cosmo Canyon to talk to Red's grandpa. He suggested going to the Ancient city where Aeris died. He also revealed the purpose of the Huge Materia. Most of them didn't do anything, but the blue one gave me Bahamut Zero! I put this summon on Cloud and it wound up saving my ass just a little bit later. For a moment I wondered if Red's grandpa might join the party, I mean he looks kind of like Tellah from FFIV and can't be that much older. Sadly, he just tagged along.

In the Ancient city, that key I randomly found at the bottom of the ocean turned out to be the clue everyone needed. By replaying an image of the past, they realized that Aeris hadn't died for nothing. Using knowledge only she had, she'd prayed to the planet and unlocked Holy, the only thing that can stop the meteor. Sephiroth is blocking it at the moment, but if the party kills him, the world can be saved. Meanwhile, Rufus had the same idea, He'd relocated the giant cannon to Midgar in order to fire it at Sephiroth. Weapon didn't like that, so it rose from the ocean and began marching on the city.

Even if Rufus is stupid and evil, there are a lot of innocent people in Midgar. The party decided to intercept Weapon. It had been so long since I'd struggled in a fight, even against bosses. Surely this would be a cakewalk too! Then the battle started, and... attacks deal zero damage. No biggie, I'll just use my magic spells and... 200 damage each. And Weapon's attacks are hitting me like a truck. Uh oh. In my desperation, I finally used summons. Phoenix on Tifa didn't do a whole lot, and neither did Hades on Yuffie. Then Cloud brought in Bahamut Zero, and it did over 7000 damage! This triggered Weapon's counterattack. Once its countdown hit zero, it hammered my party with a spell that nearly killed everyone. Unfortunately for Weapon, it also filled up everyone's limit gauges. Yuffie and Tifa softened it up. Then Cloud annihilated it with my very first Omnislash. Victory!

Rufus fired the cannon, killing Weapon and eliminating the barrier protecting Sephiroth. As an added bonus, Weapon fired one final volley before dying, and it appears to have killed Rufus too. Double victory! Now everyone in my party is saying it's time to go and face Sephiroth. Since it looks like I'm about to start the final dungeon, I landed and saved for the night.

There were some nice character moments during this session too. Cait Sith said that he finally told his hostages, Marlene and Aeris' mother, about the death of Aeris. He said they didn't take it well. Man, how many times is this game going to make me feel genuinely sad about the death of a fictional character? I also liked the argument between Barret and Cait Sith about the people who died due to Avalanche blowing up the reactors at the beginning of the game. I still don't like the traitorous Cait Sith, but he had a fair point there. I also want to talk about everyone's favorite ninja, Yuffie. I love how her motion sickness has turned into an ongoing subplot. She was doing an agonized squirm the entire time we were on the submarine. And whenever I talked to her on the airship between plot events, no matter what insanity was going on in the world, it always made me laugh that she was bent over a railing struggling not to throw up. She was the one I chose to bring into space alongside Cloud and Cid. Yuffie was one of the three first people to experience the majesty of space travel... and all she cared about in that historic moment was stealing the Huge Materia! I love you, Yuffie.

Ok I finally took a real look at the bracket and did a prediction. I'm probably wrong about a lot. It was tough at times to separate SMFFFC strength vs actual strength. There are also a few weak sections of the bracket where I feel like a few different characters could go a few rounds before slamming into a juggernaut. Still, it'll be interesting to see how awful my predictions are!

3.5/10

Not handled anywhere near well enough to overcome how clich the plot is and how obvious the twist is.

I dunno, the fact that she was driving while obviously high would've been an instant no from me for anything long-term. Could've led to a fun one night stand maybe, but if that was what you were looking for I don't think you would've hesitated in the moment. I think you made the right decision.

I began today's session by flying around the world! The NPC dialogue was 1/3 the same (the guy in the dig town was even still talking about the Lunar Harp, I'm way past that dude). 1/3 of it was new dialogue about Meteor or how crappy the world is now. All of that was interesting to read and made my little trek worthwhile. And 1/3 of the dialogue was essentially "go to the southern island to progress the plot you idiot". I probably would've figured that out on my own. After all, it was the only new town on the map. There was something important I needed to take care of first, though. I had to climb the Wutai tower with Yuffie.

I'm guessing this was designed to be undertaken way earlier, because it was super easy. I just cast Haste on Yuffie first turn, then Regen, and then spammed basic attacks until the enemy died. Yuffie even defeated her dad with this unbeatable strategy. As for the plot, sometimes fighting it out is the best way to solve an argument. By the end, Yuffie and her dad understood each other's points of view. Her dad even encouraged Yuffie to steal all the Materia once they were done saving the world, haha. That little bit of character development made the whole Materia Thief quest worthwhile. Yuffie is great.

After that, I finally went to the town the game was pointing me towards. It turned out that Cloud was there, but he was in a wheelchair and speaking nonsense (at one point he said "Xeno... gears...", what could it mean???). Still, he was alive, and that was enough for Tifa to decide to stay by his side. Son of a bitch, that's my entire A team! Aeris died, Cloud went crazy, and now Tifa is leaving me behind too. Just to rub salt in the wound, worst character Cid was the new leader. He may have been nominally in charge, but that was only because Yuffie was off vomiting from airsickness when the leader was chosen. Make no mistake, when I formed a party of her, Cid, and Vincent, Yuffie was the one who was really in command.

Thanks to Cait Sith, the team overheard a conversation about Shinra planning to launch a bunch of Materia at the meteor. That sounds like a plan that wouldn't work, I mean this is a magical world-destroying monstrosity, not just a regular old space rock. So, the team set out to get to the huge Materia first. Yuffie (not Cid) led the charge on Corel. They hopped onto a train, fought their way to the front, and then managed to stop it with four minutes to spare. I got the Ultima Materia for my troubles, aw yeah. Then came Fort Condor, and... ugh, I have to play this awful minigame again? I won't lie, I looked up a strategy because I didn't want to have to do this again if I failed. And, thankfully, it turns out I didn't need to do anything. I just let the bad guys reach the shack and then I won an incredibly easy fight. My reward here was the Pheonix summon, aw yeah again!

After this, the crew decided to head over and check on Tifa and Cloud. They got there just in time to intercept an attack from Weapon. Right away, this fight was looking dicey. I was already envisioning myself reloading, grinding for an hour to make Cid and Vincent not suck, and then trying again. Thankfully, though, this was one of those battles I didn't need to win. It just flew off after a few turns. Everyone tried to escape the collapsing town (which was a neat scene), but Tifa and Cloud didn't make it. They fell into the lifestream, and into the shattered remnants of Cloud's mind.

This was a unique setting with a lot of weird dreamlike stuff, like multiple Clouds and impossible locations. I thought it was really cool. Tifa spoke to the various bits of Cloud's psyche, slowly piecing together the person he used to be. Again, I might be wrong about some of this, but here's my understanding now. Cloud is, in fact, an actual person. I was wrong about that in my write-up yesterday, but Tifa herself essentially said "I know Sephiroth said you weren't real, but these memories are real and therefore you are real", so I wasn't stupid yesterday. I was supposed to think Cloud wasn't real. On the other hand, I guess I was stupid with my "Tifa's memories were messed with by Jenova" theory. I guess she just didn't tell Cloud any of this because she was worried how he might react? That's kind of lame. Then again, this flashback has been expanded on several times now. Maybe there's still one more time where we'll delve into the past and Tifa's silence will make a bit more sense. Again, in my defense, the exact line that Sephiroth said (taken from the script) is "Jenova has merged with Tifa's memories, creating you." I took that to mean Jenova was responsible for Tifa's memories, but I guess not.

Anyway, this section expanded on Cloud's backstory a lot. He was an outcast as a kid but wanted to get close to Tifa (and I mean, look how hot she grew up to be, can you blame him). He followed her into the mountains, she got injured, and everyone blamed Cloud even though it wasn't his fault. This made him even more of an outcast, and also drove him to join SOLDIER to get stronger so that Tifa would notice him. Sadly, he failed, and he became a regular soldier instead. Turns out he was one of those faceless goons during the Nibelheim disaster. So he was there, just not playing the role everyone assumed he was. That's a pretty neat twist! I also liked how Zack got wrecked instantly by Sephiroth, but Cloud was able to injure him and then toss him into the reactor. Lowly soldier Cloud killed the great hero Sephiroth, that's badass. Still not sure how he survived those wounds though. Maybe there's another flashback coming up where Hojo turns him into the Sephiroth clone, I dunno. There's still a gap between "everyone is injured" and "Tifa finds Cloud on the street years later and doesn't say anything even though he's acting like a crazy person".

Once all of this was figured out, Cloud and Tifa finally emerged from the dreamworld. Everyone was glad to have him back, but no one was happier than me. My A team is restored! I kicked Vincent and Cid to the curb, geared up Cloud/Tifa/Yuffie, and then landed to save for the evening. The last thing I'll say is that Yuffie is great. When Cloud went up to her, they bonded over their shared struggles with motion sickness. Then Yuffie asked to get put in the party so she could get off the airship for a bit. Also, back when the party rediscovered Cloud, I liked how Yuffie was steadfast in her belief that Cloud would get better because, quote from the script, "WE'RE here for him. He's gotta get better!". This ninja lady is alright.

I attribute my perfect finals record to having immaculate taste in characters. I'd like to offer advice for anyone wanting to replicate my success, but unfortunately this is something that cannot be taught. You have to be born with it.

Now that I've actually played FFVII, I would vote for Aeris in both of her finals. I curse my past self!

The story refocused on Tifa waking up seven days later, because I guess she's the lead now. The world is in a bad spot. Weapon is destroying things, I guess because Sephiroth took it over when he became super powerful. He also managed to summon the meteor, which is now hovering ominously in the sky. As if that all wasn't bad enough, Tifa woke up just in time for her own execution. World-ending disasters aren't enough to stop Rufus from being a moron. Cait Sith appears to have defected at least, but he only did it after everything went to hell so I still don't forgive him. Barret tried really hard to rescue Tifa from the gas chamber, but he failed miserably. Tifa had to rescue herself (after a silly slap-fight with Scarlet), and then everyone escaped aboard the airship. Woohoo, an airship! I'll never have to drive around in that awful water airplane ever again.

It was fun catching up with everyone again, even an airsick Yuffie. Tifa is still holding out hope that Cloud can be found... and I assume he will be. I mean, I know he's in Advent Children, he isn't gone forever. He's gone for now, though, which means that the game has stolen two of my overleveled party members! Some of those fights with just Cait Sith and Barret were a genuine struggle. I'd almost forgotten what that felt like, and I was thankful when they managed to team up with Yuffie. If the game ever takes away Tifa too, I could be in real trouble! For now, my party will be Tifa, Yuffie, and... let's go with Vincent, why not. I equipped everyone, set up their Materia, and then flew just far enough on the world map so that I could land and save. The last thing I want to say is that the way the meteor is hanging over the world map now is freaky and I love it.

Well, uh, some stuff happened during my session today. Before we get into that, though, I watched a video showing the other dates as well as the one Martin linked showing everyone's reaction to Aeris' death. The Barret "date" was funny, even if I was a little disappointed that they skipped the stage play. Barret would've been a good princess. He wondered why Cloud was hanging out with him instead of one of the sexy ladies, which led him to conclude that Cloud was after Marlene instead! Don't worry dude, I'm not into little girls! Who do you think I am, Edgar from FFVI? The Yuffie date was funny too. She kissed Cloud on the cheek, then slapped him when he didn't have much of a reaction. As for the Aeris date, it was easily my favorite, partly because she was the only one forward enough to call it a date. I liked their little chat on the ride. What she said didn't make total sense (...at least not until I played a bit more), but it was sweet that she wanted to get to know the real Cloud. They promised to go on more rides next time. Excuse me while I wipe away a tear.

After that date video, watching the death reactions video hit hard and made me sad for Aeris all over again. Yuffie's reaction was my favorite from the way she completely broke down and hugged Cloud. It had a lot of emotion. You know what, Yuffie is forgiven. I don't care if she's a Materia thief, she's a good character. I kicked Barret out of my party, brought in Yuffie, and then proceeded into the snow zone. She was only level 35 or so, but Cloud and Tifa were more than strong enough to carry the ninja until she got some levels and upgraded her limit break.

I explored the next town, acquiring both a map and a snowboard. The big thing here was that I found the house where Aeris' parents used to live. Her dad was a scientist who recorded his chats with Aeris' mother, and eventually they fell in love. It looked like a sweet relationship, at least until Hojo barged in and ruined everything. There was also a brief run-in with Elena, but Cloud effortlessly sidestepped her attempted punch and she rolled down a hill like the comic relief villain that she is. Then I did the snowboard minigame and failed miserably. I refused to use the incredibly awkward Page Up or Page Down buttons on my keyboard to bank left/right, so it took me five minutes. That might sound bad, but it's only four minutes longer than the world record speedrun!

No matter how poorly I did, it all led to the same place. Lost in a mazelike snowy wasteland. The map was only marginally useful in exploring this area. Still, with my overleveled Cloud and Tifa, I turned this area into a training ground for Yuffie. Even once I found the cabin leading to the next area, I actually went back into the wasteland until I was convinced I'd found everything. I killed a sexy snow lady for the Alexander summon. I've never actually used a summon in the entire game so far, but I've had them equipped to slowly level up just in case I ever need to. Once I was done down there, it was time to climb the big mountain. Nobody bothered buying winter clothes or anything, so Cloud just did a little dance whenever he needed to warm up. I had a bit of a panic attack when I ran into a Malboro in one of the caves because those guys have wrecked my shit in other Final Fantasy games. This time, though, my level was high enough that I destroyed it without much trouble. Not even the hydra boss could withstand my power.

If I didn't know better, I would've thought I was heading towards the final boss. There was a genuinely tense atmosphere in the next area with the failed experiments making their way towards Sephiroth's reunion. I eventually killed another Jenova boss and successfully reclaimed the Black Materia. I was proud of Cloud for learning from past mistakes and giving it to someone else for safekeeping. I chose Red XIII, because I can trust the wise old beast not to give it to anyone else under any circumstances... right? With that failsafe assured, the party continued on to face Sephiroth.

However, instead of a boss fight, I stumbled into a mindfuck. Sephiroth transported everyone into an illusion of the Nibelheim disaster. It all played out exactly like in Cloud's story... only, Cloud wasn't the one doing any of it. Some guy with spiky black hair (presumably Zack, I've seen pictures of him at least) was the one in the main role instead. Cloud tried to believe this was all an illusion, just some trick from Sephiroth to throw him off. Tifa was freaking out, however, and eventually the truth could no longer be denied. Cloud is nothing more than another one of Hojo's science experiments.

This blew my mind, so forgive me if I make any mistakes in this next bit of my summary. Because, I mean... what the actual fuck. Cloud never existed?!? As far as I understand it, he was an artificial human created from that other guy's memories, some cells from Jenova/Sephiroth, and even his past with Tifa was all a lie. That flashback to when she found him on the street was chilling. It was like she didn't recognize him at first, but then some magic mumbo-jumbo implanted false memories into her mind or something. Presumably, something similar would've happened no matter who found him. That goes a long way towards explaining why Tifa was acting off in a lot of previous cutscenes. She freaked out after hearing about Zack, but it wasn't because they had an illicit romance. Her mind was just struggling to rationalize what happened in reality against those false memories. Dang. Normally, after a plot twist like this, I'd get angry and wonder why Tifa never said anything, but this is actually a really clever way to resolve that plot hole. She couldn't say that anything was off about Cloud because she didn't realize it herself. All she had was a nagging doubt, but it never became solid enough to be put into words. Again, what the actual fuck. I'm probably going to spend all day at work tomorrow reexaming their relationship and wondering what was real and what wasn't. This was some mind-bending, confusing stuff, but I loved it.

While I was still reeling from that revelation, the plot continued. Red XIII fell for some pretty obvious tricks and handed over the Black Materia. Damn it Red, I trusted you! I should've given it to Barret, then I bet I'd have unlocked a secret ending where the good guys win right here and everything is fine. Instead, Cloud (or rather, the failed experiment acting as Cloud) handed it over to Sephiroth and everything went to shit. The party barely escaped on Rufus' airship, and a colossal beast called Weapon woke up to begin wreaking havoc on the world. That thing reminded me a bit of the Giant from FFIV, which is neat. While I'm at it, too, the fact that Jenova appeared in a big crater also reminded me of Lavos from Chrono Trigger. It's just this weird evil entity that crashed down from outer space (I think) to alter the course of history. FFVII is turning into a greatest hits of awesome plot points from other Square games. I like it.

Alright, time for a big update! Obviously the first thing I did was the Yuffie quest. While exploring the westernmost landmass, that rascally ninja stole my Materia. It honestly wasn't too big of a deal because Cloud/Aeris/Tifa were strong enough to bash everything to death anyway. Still, it was annoying, so I chased Yuffie to her hometown. One of the buildings here was chock full of cats, which is pretty cool. Having to track down Yuffie was less cool. The quest was basically a game of hide and seek. It wasn't so bad the first few times, but after she tricked Cloud with a cage trap and ran off I couldn't find her for the life of me. I finally looked it up, and... oh, go ring a bell in a side area I hadn't even realized was open now because PS1 graphics make it difficult to tell.

As annoying as that part was, this quest honestly wasn't that bad. It was fun seeing the Turks on vacation. I laughed really hard when, after opening a chest and finding another Materia, Yuffie dropped down from the ceiling and stole that one too. Now that's dedication. I also got a look into her mindset. She wanted the Materia to empower her homeland, which had essentially become a tourist attraction after being subjugated by Shinra. Sadly, all the Materia in the world couldn't save her from getting grabbed by Corneo, that sleaze from way back at the beginning of the game. Elena got captured somehow too, so we teamed up with the Turks and rescued everyone. Yuffie returned the Materia, rejoined the party, and then everything was fine.

After that, I did some more exploration with the airplane. I'm just going to come out and say it, this airplane sucks and I hated riding around in it. It took forever to circle around the continents. I eventually found an archeology town, which told me where to go. Then I found the Ancient temple, but I needed a keystone. So I circled alllll the way back around the continents and just brute-force searched areas until I finally got a clue at some blacksmith's hut. He'd sold the keystone to the owner of the Gold Saucer, so I headed over there and won it in the battle arena. Well, I didn't really win. Poor Cloud got petrified in the second battle. Still, Dio took pity on him and handed over the keystone anyway.

I couldn't leave right away due to a tram malfunction, so the party took some time to go over the plot so far. It was a nice scene where everyone was present. I also liked the sorta-date that Cloud and Tifa went on right after. They wound up acting in a stage play (which seems like a horrible idea. Hey, let's take random people and have them do improv, that'll be fun for the rest of the crowd). Then they went on a ride on the Ferris wheel. After previously going up with Aeris, it was nice doing it with Tifa this time. She almost confessed her feelings, even trying to psyche herself up by saying that Aeris wouldn't be afraid to confess... but, in the end, she couldn't do it. And poor dense Cloud didn't realize what she was going for. Oh, will these two dorks ever find their way?

This heartwarming moment was then interrupted by the traitorous Cait Sith handing the keystone over to Shinra. It turns out the robot party member is being controlled by someone from the company, and they even kidnapped Marlene to force the party to keep it around afterwards. Man, now I've been betrayed by two of my party members! I hope we get to hunt down whoever is controlling this thing at some point, but for now my only means of rebellion will be refusing to ever use it. I'm nowhere near as angry at Yuffie, her betrayal was played for laughs, but I'm still going to wait for her to redeem herself before I officially welcome her back into my party.

The next day, the party circled allll the way back around the continent (seriously, this airplane sucks) and finally we got to the Ancient temple. Tseng was sitting wounded at the entrance, so, good job Cait Sith and friends, all you did was give Sephiroth a head start. Going in with my usual party of Cloud/Aeris/Tifa, this area wasn't too difficult. The layout was confusing, but I managed to grab all the items and even eventually made my way past a rolling rock puzzle. Aeris felt a deepening connection with the ancients the further we got. However, Sephiroth was here too, and he was connecting to the temple as well. We eventually found him in a room full of murals depicting a meteor. This destructive spell is what he's going to use to injure the planet, and then he'll overtake the healing lifestream in order to become a god. That's a scary idea!

What's even scarier is that there's something seriously off with Cloud. He kept acting funny, and it was like Sephiroth was able to take him over at times. The party came up with a plan to sacrifice Cait Sith's robot body in order to get the Black Materia. They tried really hard to make this sad, but... you're a traitor, Cait Sith. I don't like you anymore! The nicest thing I'll say is that it was kind of funny when, in the middle of the next big dramatic scene, his body double showed up and went "whoops, this is a bad time for me to introduce myself isn't it". Anyway, everything went well, at least until Sephiroth overtook Cloud's body and forced him to hand over the Black Materia.

With Cloud seemingly compromised, Aeris went off on her own to try and prevent Sephiroth's plan. I liked the little dream she and Cloud shared, where she basically told him to take care of himself. It also gave me a clue of where she went, and obviously Cloud would never let her go alone. I rode the stupid airplane back to the archeology town, dug up a magical harp, and then I moved through the forest. The group finally tracked Aeris down in the center of the next area. Cloud even managed to resist Sephiroth's influence, which tried to get him to hurt her. Sadly, all that did was force Sephiroth to take direct action. It was finally time for the famous scene. Aeris was stabbed through the back and died. Obviously I knew this was coming at some point, and in the lead-up to this I was pretty sure this would be it. Still, I'll admit, it managed to get to me, especially seeing my two party members say a quiet goodbye before Cloud put her body to rest.

END OF DISC ONE... oh my god the entire game up to now was only disc one? And I still have two other discs?!? How long is this game? I played a bit of the next section too, where Cloud grappled with the apparent corruption inside of himself. He's afraid of what he might do, and he suspects that him abandoning the quest might be the best thing for everyone. Still, he's come too far, lost too much, and is way too pissed off at Sephiroth to stop now. It was nice seeing him ask the others to come with him, so they could stop him from doing anything bad if it comes down to it. I'm not sure what the implications are of Sephiroth calling Cloud a puppet, but I'm excited to find out! I saved for the night once I hit the world map again in some sort of snow zone.

So, to recap the day's progress. Cid is a jerk. Cait Sith is a traitor. Yuffie is a thief. I'm hoping future events will redeem the three of them, but I guess I'll have to wait and see. And, lastly, Aeris is dead. My party for now is Cloud, Tifa, and a depressingly underleveled Barret. I'm really feeling the gap in my party composition without Aeris there to cast spells and heal everyone. I'll play around with Barret, Red, and Vincent to see who fits in best, at least until Cid, Yuffie, or Cait get a moment that makes me like them again. Still, RIP Aeris, I miss you already.

MartinFF7 posted...

i'm going to assume Materia Keeper (boss in Mt. Nibel) didn't cast Trine on you, but I guess you were overleveled anyhow

No, it did. I remember because I learned it on my Enemy Ability materia. I was just keeping everyone at almost full health so nothing the boss did really mattered, haha.

MartinFF7 posted...

-there's more than pumpkin and axe-swinging guy in the manor but the "Jersey" (floating animated scales) are very rare encounters iirc. Also in the basement leading to Vincent's room/the lab is the enemy Ying/Yang which is still burned in my memory after all these years...

Oh yeah, I fought one of these things too! It kept saying stuff like "Ying is happy" and I didn't really get the puzzle, but it eventually died. Definitely the hardest part of the mansion though.

Now here comes a big update, sorry in advance everyone but a lot of big stuff happened.

8/10

It's a nice heartwarming story in a show that isn't known for that. Plus I really like the idea of the uploaded afterlife so it was nice exploring that

I played a bit more. The next area I went to was... Nibelheim? Everyone was confused and doubted Cloud's story, but I had Tifa in the party and she really should've been able to vouch for most of it so I dunno. In any case, Nibelheim is still standing, but it's populated by strange people in black cloaks. They all have numbers tattooed on them and are rambling about reunions and Sephiroth. Clearly this is a big mystery, and... oh, there's a note in Tifa's room explaining these people are clones or actors. Mystery solved! I have no idea why Shinra would go to all this trouble to create a fake Nibelheim, I mean they didn't do that with Barret's town, but oh well.

More importantly I went on a long adventure through a haunted mansion. And I mean long. There were two kinds of enemies here. One was a guy swinging on a boat anchor who looked like he belonged on the cover of a bad pirate romance novel. Then there were the pumpkins... these fucking pumpkins. They cast silence and confusion, and they always managed to get all their turns in before I got one. Fighting these guys was so annoying. Silence meant I couldn't clear them quickly, confusion meant half the time I couldn't even get basic attacks in. And I had to fight a bunch of them, too, because it took me a few laps around the mansion to find the safe combination. At least the pumpkins were good experience, I guess. I eventually found three of the safe numbers, but I had to look up the last one (I assumed I had to play a specific song at the piano, but no, I just had to look behind the piano). Actually putting the combination into the safe without overshooting the numbers was the hardest part of the boss fight that followed. By the time I battled the safe monster, Cloud, Aeris, and Tifa were all hilariously overleveled thanks to pumpkin fights.

They ran into Sephiroth in the basement too, but all he did was chuck a Materia at Cloud's face and then float away. Not gonna lie, the way he hovered off like that looked kind of silly. More importantly, though, I had the key to go into a secret room and discover a sleeping vampire named Vincent. Once he realized we were on our way to beat up Hojo at some point, he was happy to join the party. Welcome aboard, vampire dude! You can go sit in the buggy with Barret, Red, Yuffie, and Cait Sith. I'm sticking with my hilariously overleveled harem squad.

Next up came exploring the mountains behind Nibelheim. Other than some confusion with pipes leading down to some items, this area wasn't bad. Even the one big boss monster was pretty easy. I expected to find Sephiroth in the old Jenova reactor, but as far as I could tell there wasn't anything there. In the next area, I found a town built around an old decaying rocket. A lot of the townsfolk whined about how boring their lives were. Haven't they ever heard of tempting fate? Calling it now, this town is super doomed and so is everyone in it.

Inside the rocket itself, I finally met Cid, the would-be astronaut who turned into a jerk. I don't know why all of you are so down on Yuffie, this is the guy I don't like. Yeah it sucks that you missed out on your dream, but maybe you guys shouldn't have started the launch when Shera was still in the engine fixing things? Maybe it's a good thing she was doing that because, you know, you might've died in space if she hadn't? The guys who were on Apollo 13 didn't get to fulfill their dream of going to the moon either, but I wouldn't let them get away with being abusive to their wives. Not that Shera is his wife, Cid vehemently denied that a bit later, but he's still a jerk. I don't like him. I did like beating up Palmer when Rufus came to town, though. And now I have an airplane that can only act as a boat! I'm taking a break before doing some more exploration, but I'll play more later today.

LeonhartFour posted...

Also Cait Sith is the cat, and it's riding on a mechanical stuffed moogle that it controls. They're both artificial.

A robot riding a robot, man what a strange party member. Thanks for the clarification! As Martin said, though, his dice limit break is pretty cool. If I weren't going for the harem route, Cait Sith would probably be in my main party.

My second play session of the day was all about character quests. The first was Barret's. Well, the first was actually me getting lost in a desert, slogging through a gauntlet of sandworms, and finally being rescued by a guy in a chocobo carriage just when all hope seemed lost. The next time I headed out, I luckily found the place I needed to go. The mysterious gunman turned out to be Dyne, Barret's old friend who turned bad after the destruction of their town. Marlene is actually his daughter as well, but not even learning she was alive was enough to bring him back. Barret defeated Dyne in a one-on-one duel (and it sure would've been nice if I had put a Restore materia on Barret, but I didn't so it was actually a close call a few times). Dyne gave Barret a pendant for Marlene, then threw himself off a cliff.

For as brief as his part in the story was, I liked this guy as a reflection of who Barret could've become. They both went through the same tragedy, and both of them lost an arm and got a gun grafted onto it, showing their desire to fight back. Dyne said that his hands were too stained to hold Marlene now, and Barret echoed that line a bit later too. Still, Barret is a good father, and he's been trying to do the right thing rather than killing indiscriminately like Dyne was. I guess the difference between them would be Marlene. Even if she isn't actually Barret's daughter, she would've kept him centered and given him something to fight for, trying to save the planet rather than just killing for revenge.

Once that was done, Cloud won a chocobo race to get everyone back out. They also got a vehicle, which was neat. I swapped to Cait Sith and Yuffie and spent a bit of time wandering around the world, including heading back to the previous continent for a bit just to see if anything had changed. The best thing I found was in that old beach town. Remember how impressed I was at Yuffie for helping out at a store? The owner mentioned that his mysterious helper had stolen all his money and Materia. That's... that's amazing. I'm sad Yuffie hasn't had more to do in the plot so far because she seems great. Even when we were doing Barret's subplot, I remember Yuffie saying something like "why are we even doing this if we aren't getting paid?". During Red's subplot a bit later, she was more interested in finding unique treasures than helping out her friend. She's such a scamp.

Once it was time to continue the plot, I went back to my mainstays of Aeris and Tifa. I was glad I did, too, because the next area I explored was important for them. I ran into the Turks near a ruined reactor, and Cloud overheard them talking about who they had crushes on. As funny as it was learning there's a confusing romance chart between all these characters, I'm not sure the guys with crushes on Tifa and Aeris have even spent any time with them? Didn't we only interact when we were beating your asses? Well, that's what we did again here, forcing the two to run off. I got a sweet staff for Aeris after this fight with a bunch of Materia slots, it's great.

Then I found a town near the ruined reactor. One house had some parents worried about their son, Zack (who I know from SMFFFC but I think this is the first time his name has come up). He was in SOLDIER too, though Cloud never met him. Now he's gone missing, which concerned Aeris because Zack was the first love she alluded to before. I already knew that she had a boyfriend, so this was nothing new. What WAS new, however, was that Tifa seems to know Zack as well. Combined with Aeris' theory that Zack, a ladies man, probably forgot about her after meeting some other girl, and... did Zack and Tifa hook up?!? When Cloud shared his story about the fight with Sephiroth five years ago, there was that part he didn't remember. My theory is that Zack swooped in, saved everyone, and had a romance with Tifa or something. I can fully understand why Cloud would block those memories out. It's one thing for Aeris to have dated him before, everyone has a past. To have the same guy also get with your hot childhood friend too, man, that's rough. I wonder if Yuffie has a history this mysterious stud too?

Next up came Cosmo Canyon, a town with a sweet theme song. It was also Red XIII's home, and for a bit it looked like he was going to leave the party. However, after speaking with his grandfather about the lifestream and learning that his cowardly father was actually a hero Red decided to stick with the party. This character subplot wasn't as deep as Barret's, but it was nice learning more about him. My only problem here was that new weapons at the item shop were expensive, I didn't buy Red's, and then I couldn't afford his when he got forced into my party. I also struggled a bit because Aeris finally got her next level of a limit break, which doesn't do any free healing. I can only hope that, if I stick on this level long enough, the limit breaks coming up will make it all worthwhile.

I've played for a bit so far today. After heading to the only other area on the world map, the group fought their way through an abandoned mine. I thought it was neat how the three people I didn't pick were available halfway through. It was like they were out exploring on their own and not just randomly teleporting to wherever I was going. I also found some cute baby birds napping in a nest built around some treasure. I had the option of stealing the treasure, but my party was Tifa and Aeris and I'll be damned if I make Cloud look like a jerk in front of the ladies. They were both very proud of him for letting the chicks sleep peacefully. Aw yeah, Cloud just scored some major points!

The next town was in bad shape, and the people there blamed Barret for it. In a flashback, he advocated for the construction of a Mako reactor. Then Shinra blamed the townsfolk for an attack on it and slaughtered everyone. Barret blamed himself for it, but, like... how was he supposed to know Shinra was evil and would slaughter a whole town? That wasn't his fault. Still, he was in an understandably bad mood. Not even riding up to the Gold Saucer, a floating amusement park, could cheer him up. Barret got angry that we weren't busy looking for Sephiroth, and then he ran off. Despite that, Aeris argued that the group should have fun since they were there. Because she was the most eager to go, I decided to see the sights with her. I had to pay to get in, after all, and I may as well try to earn some of the park currency for prizes. I bet for bird #2 on the chocobo races, and then bird #2 pulled off a surprising win! I got second place wrong, though, so no prize for me. Nuts to this. I tried some games in Wonder Square too, but the only one I had any success at was a dead easy one where I fed Mog some kupo nuts so that he could find a mate.

In another area, I ran into a creature named Cait Sith. It introduced itself as a fortune telling machine, but I'm still not 100% sure what this thing is. Is the big thing the machine and the cat riding on it real? Are they both machines? Which is the one that's talking? I dunno, and I'm not sure it matters. His flimsy reasoning for joining the party is that he wants to see if his fortune comes true. And that fortune was that Cloud would find what he was looking for but lose something precious. That doesn't sound ominous at all! Time to go back to mindless fun! Riding the roller coaster was neat, but I sucked at the shooting minigame. I also took Aeris up on the ferris wheel, and it was neat looking out the window at all the unique sights. I was going to see if I could switch party members and then go up with everyone else too, but when I went up with Cait Sith he just stared blankly out the window and there wasn't much to it, so I decided not to waste my time. The inn here was a spooky haunted house for some reason. I liked Mr. Hangman flying down from above like a jumpscare.

The plot finally progressed again when I went through battle square and saw a bunch of dead people. The gang suspected Sephiroth, but their wounds were caused by a gun. They were afraid Barret might have gone off the deep end. Still, I believe he's innocent. Since the park owner had no reason to trust us, he declared my party guilty of the massacre and tossed everyone down a hole, which led to the desert below. The gang ran into Barret again, suspiciously standing over another corpse, but I still believe in you buddy! Sephiroth is probably out here with an uzi, and it's up to us to hunt him down.

I didn't have as much time to play today. The next town was a Shinra port, and the water around it was so polluted that monstrous fish regularly swim ashore to accost little girls and friendly dolphins. This was the hardest fight in the game so far, mostly because I was an idiot. The fish encased Cloud in a bubble. I tried attacking the bubble and it did 0 damage. Then I tried using magic and it just hurt Cloud without destroying the bubble. I figured it would pop on its own at some point, so I kept healing him to prevent drowning. Then Yuffie got caught in a bubble too and I finally realized... oh, Cloud and the bubble are different targets. I needed to cast the spell on the bubble! Whoops. After freeing everyone, the rest of the battle went fine.

The friendly dolphin helped Cloud climb higher into the city. A lot of Shinra military forces were putting on a parade in honor of Rufus, and stealing a uniform allowed Cloud to participate. There were a few marching minigames, and I hilariously failed at every single one of them. The second one where I had to do the same drill moves as the other two guys was especially stupid because the prompts were confusing. [OK] [MENU] [SWITCH] [CANCEL], man, I can't instantly remember what button those are. I got a score of 40 and everyone was disappointed in me. At least, while everyone was berating me, the rest of the party used that distraction to sneak aboard the boat Rufus was taking to the next area.

It was fun finding everyone disguised on the boat. Yuffie had some wicked seasickness and Red XIII had transformed into a human... somehow? The fun and games didn't last long, though, because it turned out Sephiroth was onboard too. I switched back to Cloud/Aeris/Tifa because Yuffie was still seasick, and then I went down below and fought some sort of manifestation of Jenova. Sephiroth was there too, but he mostly just seemed confused before flying away. Once the boat reached port, everyone headed into the city, getting away from the dock just before Rufus and Heidegger exited. Rufus was disappointed and reprimanded Heidegger for letting seven people sneak onto the boat. Heidegger was so angry that he started chucking sailors into the ocean, which was a funny visual.

I ran around the beach town checking out what the people not in my party were doing. Red was playing soccer with some kids (aww), Yuffie was helping out at a store (what a helpful person), and Barret was... hiding in the Inn's a bathroom trying on his sailor outfit. He pretended not to like it before, but Aeris called it cute and I guess that must've struck a chord with him! I also found Professor Hojo chilling with some babes on the beach. This guy is clearly evil, but when Cloud was about to attack, Tifa told him not to. But why not, Tifa? He's evil! We should kill him! But we didn't, so oh well. I'm guessing he'll become a big problem later.

I didn't progress any further, but I did run around the new world map a bit seeing what I could find. The only enemy in this whole area is an evil Matryoshka doll, which was annoying to fight and only gave middling experience. Ah well, hopefully I'll be strong enough to continue without grinding next time.

First thing in today's session was heading to Kalm so that I could get my damn Materia back from Barret. I figured it would be as simple as meeting up at the inn and then I could reform my party, but it wound up being a lot more involved than that. Cloud had a story to tell, one of his days working for SOLDIER alongside the legendary Sephiroth. Their mission took them to Cloud's hometown, and the first thing they did was slay a dragon. Uh... Sephiroth is pretty tough, you guys! 3000+ damage, damn man. I'm glad the dragon only ever attacked him because Cloud would've died in one hit.

Once in the town, I ran around exploring as much as I could. Some parts made me laugh, like when Cloud started sharing a conversation with a random NPC. Barret, who was listening to the story, didn't give a shit about no random NPC, so he told Cloud to skip past it. When it came time to visit his childhood home, though, it was Cloud who was wary of sharing things. The recollection kept skipping around as his mom rambled on saying mom things. Get a nice older girlfriend and settle down, that sort of thing. I also liked the bit where Cloud snuck into Tifa's empty house and she was like "wait you went into my house? Into my room? And you played my piano?" I tried snooping more just to get more of a reaction out of her, but sadly I couldn't find any embarrassing things or underwear drawers.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get across is that this was a neat way to do a flashback sequence. It incorporated imperfect memories and the people listening in played a role too. Cloud also met Tifa's dad, and he told him to stay away from his daughter. I don't blame you, dude. If my daughter brought home a guy with spikey anime hair, I wouldn't them getting together either. Too bad for you though, because Tifa has been hired as a guide! She was wearing a cowboy outfit, too. She wore something similar in World of Final Fantasy, and I was always confused by that since her white shirt and black skirt look is so iconic. Now I know where it came from.

I was sad that there wasn't more of a reunion between her and Cloud here, but I suppose he had just left for an indeterminate number of years. I guess they grew apart. It's probably safe to say they got close again real quick after surviving what happened next, too. In the mountains, the group entered another Mako reactor and found past experiments on Jenova. Sephiroth began freaking out, wondering if he was some sort of lab experiment too and ranting about Hojo. Over the course of a few days rifling through books in an old Shinra mansion, Sephiroth went completely off the deep end. I'm not sure I buy this sudden shift from being good soldier into being completely evil and slaughtering a whole town. Then again, given how quickly he got suspicious, I guess these doubts have been brewing inside of him for awhile?

In any case, Sephiroth is an Ancient or the son of an Ancient or somesuch, and now he wants to kill everyone to reclaim the world for his dead husk of mother. That was my understanding of it, at least. This feels very much like an event where I still don't have the full story. I also, literally, don't have the full story because Cloud himself doesn't remember it. He went from cradling a horrifically wounded Tifa to facing off in an impossible battle against Sephiroth... and then he doesn't remember what happened next. Man, what a tease. Even Barret got angry at that crappy ending to the story. Still, the group's goal is clear. Hunt down Sephiroth and stop him from killing everyone.

Luckily, a guy right outside the inn had seen a suspicious man heading east. I quickly did a loop around the map seeing what else I could find, but, as usual for an early FF game, there wasn't much. I did find a big snake swimming around on the world map, though, and thankfully I saved before confronting it. It was Midgar Zolom! All these years on B8, I've always heard of Midgar Zolom. He was one of the ASCII people always used to post back in the day! Anyway, I put up a surprisingly good fight against him. He kept missing, Aeris was keeping up with the healing, and I even got my first full 'Yeah!' on both sides of Tifa's limit break. Them Midgar Zolom smacked Cloud and Aeris out of the fight entirely and annihilated a solo Tifa. Lesson learned, don't fight the giant snake.

I reloaded and did what the game wanted me to do instead. I learned how to wrangle chocobos, then sprinted across Zolom's domain like my life depended on it (because it did). The chocobo ran away when I got to the other side, and now I am terrified of the prospect of having to go back this way someday. A cave dungeon came next, and it was surprisingly tiny. The big thing here was that I ran into the Turks again. They were kind of angry that I had injured Reno, except for Elena, a blonde girl who got promoted thanks to his absence. I can see why she was their second choice because she isn't very good at her job. She got confused about her orders and then accidentally gave me some valuable information on Sephiroth's whereabouts. In one cutscene, the Turks became a goofball squadron rather than a legit threat... but I like goofballs so I'm fine with that! Elena should be a fun character.

In the next area, I found a tower where some locals were fighting Shinra to protect a condor egg. It all sounded kind of unimportant compared to Sephiroth running amok somewhere. Still, I figured I'd give it a shot. This stupid RTS minigame took me a few tries to figure out. It also took a really long time and cost me all my money. The only thing that kept me going was my ironclad conviction that anything this lame would have to have a big reward at the end to make it worthwhile. Then, I finally won! And my reward was...

https://imgur.com/a/TCcO4vG

Fuck this condor and its stupid egg. I'm never coming back here again.

Still, the tower had a free healing spot (after several tedious ladders), so I took the opportunity to run around the overworld to grind some levels and get my gil back. It wasn't long before I ran into someone though! As soon as I saw a familiar little ninja, I instantly alt-tabbed and looked up how to recruit her. Don't judge me, I was afraid that killing her in battle might mean losing her forever and I hadn't saved since winning that stupid Condor minigame. On my own, I don't think I ever would've correctly navigated the labyrinthine dialogue choices needed to win her over. I was glad that I looked it up.

Now I have a cute ninja on my team! I hardly know anything about her yet. She apparently planned the whole confrontation as an excuse to join the party, though. And her laugh was a mischievous 'nyuk, nyuk, nyuk', so I like her already. I swapped out Tifa to try the new character out, and she can hold her own in battle well enough. The characters in my main party range from 16 to 18 as of now. I saved on the world map right outside of the next location, so next time we'll see if I'm strong enough to continue!

3/10

I didn't outright hate it, but it didn't feel very Black Mirror to me and overall wasn't very interesting. With the twist ending, I get why the kid was motivated to do whatever the hackers said, but Bronn was just cheating on his wife. I wouldn't go along with any of that shit if all I was doing was cheating on my wife.

Mr. Snrub

Today's session was mostly gameplay, but there was some story in there too.

Cloud, Tifa, and Barret headed to Wall Market. I checked around for any new things, such as the Honeybee Inn banning Cloud because apparently he was a bad customer (meanwhile Cloud is doing his best to suppress the memories of what happened in there). I also searched Corneo's mansion and saved a guy strapped to some sort of torture table. Then it was time to climb a cable to the upper level, which was a neat little transitional area with some simple battery and jumping puzzles.

Outside Shinra HQ, I had the choice of busting in or sneaking in. After the nonsense of infiltrating Corneo's mansion, this time I opted to just kick in the front door and start blasting. There was a company store on the second floor with some chests I couldn't figure out how to open. The big thing there was a CGI video of some Shinra-brand cars, which I'm sure looked very impressive back in 1997. All I got out of it was... man, Shinra makes some cool steampunk cars.

There was a lot of climbing after that. Most floors had a few NPCs or a little puzzle to snag some items, but it was all relatively straightforward until I got to the executive floor. At first I was going to laugh at the stupidity of the Shinra executives for setting up their vents such that air from the bathroom goes directly into their boardroom. Then I realized... these guys are all too high up to waste time thinking about the vents. Some lowly worker building this place was the one responsible for the shitty air, likely because he hates his evil bosses. Whoever that worker was, he's a hero in my book!

After spying on the executive meeting, Cloud and the others followed the scientist Hojo up to the next floor. There, he seemed to be trying to... I think he wanted to breed Aeris with Red XIII? Would that even work? Regardless, Red XIII isn't into humans, so he opted to attack Hojo instead. The talking dog/cat chimera creature joined the party. This was where I ran into an annoying little problem with managing more than three party members. During the next few sections, it kept making me swap who was in my party. Sometimes it would let me remove Materia and equipment, and sometimes it wouldn't. Even if it did, I still had to reequip everyone, sometimes only for one battle before the party composition switched and then I had to do it all over again. Ugh, that was annoying.

Having rescued Aeris, the party tried to escape. Then they got cornered by the Turks in an elevator and taken to see President Shinra instead. His evil plan was revealed. He wants to find a fabled promised land and build a paradise on top of it. Everyone was tossed into jail cells, and there was some nice character interaction between them all. Aeris even found time to flirt with Cloud a bit by reminding him about her promise for a date. She didn't realize Tifa was in the next cell too, though, and she heard about it too. Awkward!

Everyone went to sleep next. When Cloud woke up later, the cell door was open and everyone outside was dead. It appeared that Sephiroth went on a rampage through the building, and it was awfully nice of him to take the time to open Cloud's cell while he was at it. He also smashed up a container that'd once held some... thing called Jenova. I've heard that name before over the years so I know it's important, but I dunno what it is.

More importantly, the evil President Shinra is dead, stabbed in the back by Sephiroth! Yay! Now his son Rufus is in charge, and he's even more evil than his dad. Boo! I mean, that speech he gave was almost laughably over the top. "My dad was too nice wasting money protecting the people. I'm going to rule through fear instead!" Yeah... your dad was a real saint, what with crushing all those innocent people. Cloud, understandably angered by this, stayed behind to fight Rufus while the others went on ahead (forcing me to juggle my party members, AGAIN). Aeris, Barret, and Red fought a neat battle against some robots while riding the elevator down. It wasn't too bad, Aeris kept up the healing and both her and Red are excellent magic casters. Then Cloud easily beat up Shinra, and his little dog too.

Once everyone regrouped on the main floor (and I had to set up my party AGAIN), they stole a truck and a motorcycle and made their escape. This was the cutscene burned into my memory from my childhood, the one that was glitched, played upside down, and crashed whenever my brother and I tried to get past it. I am officially further into FFVII than I've ever been, not that I remembered much else from so long ago. The little motorcycle minigame where Cloud had to swing at pursuers was neat. The problem here, though, was that not all of the buttons are available on my controller. I could swing right but not left. I could've used the keyboard, but it would've been X and Insert, which is hella awkward. Also, Insert is on the right side of the keyboard and swings left while X is on the left side but swings right? To hell with that! I just used my controller, only ever swung right, and did my best with that handicap. My people got a little beat up, but Aeris healed everyone once the boss fight started and it was smooth sailing from there.

Once they were outside of Midgar, it was time to form a new party (AGAIN). I chose Aeris and Tifa to go with Cloud. I need Aeris for the healing, and I would've felt bad not taking Tifa along too because I bet she'd get all sad and jealous. Sorry Barret and Red, I gotta go the harem route. I laughed when Barret's only reaction was "I expected you to do that". The big problem here was that Barret then walked off with half my Materia attached to him, which is super lame. I quit for the night right after saving on the overworld for the first time. I'm a bit annoyed at the constant party swaps. Still, in my experience, there eventually comes a point in FF games where that sort of thing settles down. Eventually I hope I'll be able to just pick my three favorites, gear them up, and then never need to switch again.

I played a bit more tonight. I could've played even longer, but this small section of the game left me with quite a lot to talk about! First, I turned on that 'Finger' mode that shows doors and ladders. It has been super helpful. There are still a few areas with funny layouts, like the train graveyard where it took me a few minutes to realize I could walk through one of the busted trains. Overall, though, navigation has been a lot easier to manage.

Cloud and Aeris made their way through the area infested with evil houses (seriously, what's the deal with these things). I had an easier time with them after equipping Aeris with a Restore materia to get some dedicated healing. Plus, Cloud's limit break leveled up and got a cross-slash that disabled the houses for a bit, which really helped. After getting through, Cloud realized that, to get back home, Aeris would have to return through the house-infested area all on her own. They sat in a playground to mull over that conundrum, and then they talked about how Aeris' first boyfriend was in SOLDIER too. She was cagey about giving Cloud a name, though, so I assume it was Sephiroth. After all, he's the only other SOLDIER that I know.

That was when a chocobo carriage rode by carrying Tifa on the back. Confused, the two followed and realized she was being held in some crime lord's mansion. In order to rescue her, Cloud used his fighting skills to bust in and... oh. No, I guess that plan would make too much sense. It's much easier to disguise Cloud as a woman in order to infiltrate this den of sex perverts. I remember seeing images of Cloud in a dress over the years, but I always assumed it was some goofy sidequest. I never realized it would be part of a main quest this early in the game!

Oh well, I'm a good sport so I played along. It helped that Aeris was super excited to make Cloud as pretty as he could be. I had already done part of the quest while wandering through the area before. I'd eaten at a restaurant and then exchanged a coupon for digestive medicine, reasoning that the food from that sketchy restaurant might go down rough. By exchanging this with a girl vomiting in a nearby bathroom, plus some other fetch quests, Cloud got a dress, a wig, a diamond tiara, and some sweet cologne. There was one area left, though. The Honeybee Inn.

They never came right out and said it, but this was clearly a whorehouse. And, man, what a weird whorehouse it was. Cloud peeked into one room and, as far as I understood, the president of Shinra himself was in there getting off to an incredibly unsettling stage play. It was almost as unsettling as what happened to poor Cloud when I chose the &$#% Room. It was either that or the Group Room, and I didn't think Cloud was ready for an orgy. It turned out that he wasn't ready for this either though. Inside, he saw a ghostly image of himself cowering in fear, likely a premonition of the horror that was about to befall him. The sight was enough to knock Cloud out... which thankfully spared him from being awake for what happened after. When he awoke, a burly man was in bed with him. Again, this was all played very PG-13 and didn't come right out and say it, but... did that man have his way with an unconscious Cloud?!? I got some lingerie for the low, low price of Cloud's dignity and virtue.

Once Cloud was dolled up (in a... shockingly unflattering full-body dress), Aeris decided to join in too (wearing a much sexier red dress). I obviously didn't know much about her before I started playing, but, given that she's an innocent looking flower girl and the team healer, the image I had of her in my head was always pure and innocent. I'm really liking this spunkier side where she's so eager to get Cloud to crossdress and even joins in on the fun. I also really liked the scene outside the Honeybee Inn where she was ripping off a bunch of horny dudes by upcharging them to buy her flowers. Aeris has been amazing so far.

Anyway, the two headed off to Corneo's mansion. Tifa was confused to see them, and even more confused at what Cloud was wearing. She had a tip that Corneo knew some valuable information, though, and the group decided to follow through. Cloud was chosen as the sexiest girl, and then he was able to rip off the disguise and interrogate Corneo once the group had him cornered. I liked how threats of "ripping it off" or "smashing it" were what got him to talk... and, again, I was pleasantly surprised that even Aeris joined in on the threat of dick-mangling. Corneo told them about a Shinra plot to crush the slum where Avalanche is located. The group had to take a short detour through a sewer after falling for the old trap door trick, but then they were on their way to stop that awful plan.

Unfortunately, by the time they arrived, the battle was already underway. Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie were injured, and Aeris ran off to rescue Marlene. Together with Barret, Tifa and Cloud tried to prevent the explosion. And they failed. The main heroes were able to escape, and Aeris rescued Marlene despite getting captured by Shinra immediately after. Still, everyone else wasn't so lucky. It was a harrowing scene watching that plate fall onto all those unsuspecting people. I saw a newscast later that claimed there were no civilian casualties, but... yeah right. If nothing else, the three lesser members of Avalanche are probably dead. Barret was understandably distraught and furious, to the point of shooting fruitlessly at the rubble. Still, I liked how he refused to blame himself for it. This atrocity was the fault of Shinra. Now it's time to go and blow them all to hell and rescue Aeris in the process!

The last thing I did before stopping for the night was learn a bit more about Aeris from her mother. It turns out that she's actually only her adopted mother, and Aeris is some sort of ancient. That explains why Shinra wants her, I guess, but I don't know much else yet. I'm excited to find out, though! I'm enjoying the game a lot more now that navigation is easier. I'm also really loving Aeris so far. She's a sweetheart, but she's also a lot less innocent than I ever would've guessed. I figured she'd be the pure, self-sacrificing magic girl, like Rosa from IV or Yuna from X. Don't get me wrong, I usually love that character type, and Aeris is definitely a good person. Still, I'm loving this edge that she has. She grew up in these horrible slums and has probably seen some shit. It makes perfect sense that she'd rip off some dudes by overcharging for her flowers (while Cloud was inside being violated, no less). She's great.

EDIT: Oh, one other thing (because this post wasn't long enough yet, my apologies to anyone actually reading all of this...). After the plate collapse, I noticed that Tifa had a "Sadness" status ailment. Yeah, after what just happened, that makes sense. I wonder what item gets rid of that, antidepressants? Some ice cream, maybe? I'm sure that'd cheer her right up even though a bunch of her friends are dead!

Guy Incognito

Lord Huggington

Snowball II

I wonder how many get eliminated when the round ends

Unsafe (61):
Allen Wrench
Bart Jr.
Bob the Drag Queen
Bobo
Chewbacca
Chief Piggum
Cooder
Cowboy Bob
Evil House
Evil House XII
Fallout Boy
Freddy Quimby
Godfrey Jones
Goobie-Woo
Hans Moleman
Happiest Clown College Grad
Helen Lovejoy
Herbert Powell
Herman Hermann
Hokkaido Phone Book Librarian
Jonathan Frink Sr.
Kang
Kearney
Kearney's Other Son
Laddie
Lard Lad
Leopold
Lisa Jr.
Little Jamshed
Major Nougat
Mesmerino
Michael Jackson
Milhoose
Moe's Bar Rag
Mr. Bergstrom
Mr. Burns' Cube
Mr. McGreg
Mr. Stingely
Mr. Thompson
Mrs. Glick
Mrs. K
Professor Lombardo
Rod Flanders
Samantha Stankey
Scuzzo the Clown
Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure-Discothque-Simpson-D'Amico
Serak the Preparer
Shelbyville Milhouse
Sherry Bobbins
Sir Loves-A-Lot
Snake
Snowball II
Snowball III
Sophie Krustofsky
Spinal Tap
Spud
The Bluebird of Unhappiness
The Grumple
The Original Alfalfa
Ulysses Grant
Zohar the Adulterer

I see that my rankings have thrown some people off. I assure all of you, they aren't randomized and I'm not trolling. XIII has amazing characters and one of my favorite RPG battle systems. X-2 oozes fun. Lightning Returns was just such a unique experience, and so on. I have rock solid justifications for the character list, too

Leonhart4 posted...

If you're having a hard time finding doors and ladders, use the finger

Not sure how you activate it on the Steam version, but it's whatever the equivalent of the select button is.

Oh, that's handy. FFVII on Steam only has partial controller support, and I didn't see anything like that when I tested all the buttons. Every time it launches, though, it shows a screen of the keyboard controls. I'll figure that out before next time.

Leonhart4 posted...

He'll probably have Aerith high if he plays Remake, too, but if you're thinking he'll have her tops in VII because he has Yuna up near the top, that's because of X-2, not X.

I liked Yuna because of X too! She was great in X-2 as well, but she was my favorite after X as well. X-2 just solidified it when she told a certain loser that she didn't like his plan because his plan sucked.

Final Fantasy VII begins with the camera panning around to show off a futuristic city, which looked beautiful even with the outdated graphics. Then it focused on a train and introduced our characters, who... don't look so good. I know how old this game is and I can imagine how groundbreaking the visuals probably were at the time, but I struggle to take these Lego people seriously. They should've used the combat models, those actually look good! Anyway, my moment of unfairly judging this twenty-six year old game is over, back to the plot.

A terrorist/freedom fighter group called AVALANCHE are attacking a Mako reactor. They helpfully explain that the reactor is draining the planet's life energy. Assuming that isn't an exaggeration to justify themselves, that sounds like a serious problem. However, Cloud, their newest member, doesn't care. He used to be part of something called Soldier. Now he just wants to get the job done and get paid. The leader, Barret (a big dude with a cool arm machine gun), doesn't trust him yet. Still, Cloud's skills prove invaluable as they fight through the complex. They plant the bomb, rush out ahead of the timer, and I even rescued Jessie despite briefly hesitating to wonder if the game would actually let me leave her behind.

Everyone split up outside, and Cloud ran into a girl selling flowers. Aeris may not be the canon name anymore, but it's the one this version of the game presented. And, honestly, even if it did call her Aerith, I would've changed it back. Aeris is a better name! There were a bunch of NPCs running around scared, so I figured the area was still dangerous. I had Cloud tell Aeris to get the hell out of there. Then he got cornered by a bunch of soldiers. The game gave me the option of battling them now or later, but I'm not sure why. Cloud wrecked those dudes. I probably could've kept fighting and killed them all, but instead he jumped onto a passing train to regroup with the others.

While Barret is still standoffish, the other freedom fighters are all hyped about how strong Cloud is. I liked the world-building scenes on the train where Jessie explained the ID security scan and showed a map of the city. I guess Cloud would've been too high class to ride public transit when he was still part of whatever Soldier is. After arriving at their stop, I was given my first chance to explore on my own. I found a train graveyard area with a ladder I could climb, and I could clearly see an area beyond it with more ladders... but, sadly, I couldn't find a way to access it. There probably was a way. Honestly, the thing I'm struggling with the most in the game so far is navigating the areas. It's tough to tell what I can climb or where to stand to access a ladder. I couldn't figure out this puzzle, so I went back to the main plot.

The group's HQ is at a bar owned by Cloud's childhood friend, Tifa. Cloud tried to act all cold and distant, like he's only in it for the money, but by the next morning Tifa was easily able to convince him to come on the next job. She comes along, too, leaving her bar in the hands of Barret's daughter Marlene. I laughed as soon as I saw that. A little girl tending a bar probably isn't legal, but she seemed to know what she was doing back there so I doubt any patrons will complain. The crew hopped onto another train, and their presence spooked most people into another car. Only one Shinra employee remained, and I wasn't a fan of the way Barret seemed ready to blow the dude's head off. Enemy combatants are one thing, no need to threaten some poor shmuck who's just trying to get by in this dystopian hellhole. While I'm at it, NPCs talking about the reactor explosion mentioned that it killed a lot of innocent people. Assuming that wasn't just Shinra propaganda, that's pretty bleak. Are... are we actually the bad guys???

Pretty soon, the security ID scan caught them, leading to a hectic sprint down all the train cars. Cloud/Barret/Tifa were forced to jump out and find another way into the reactor. After that, setting up the bomb went well. The only notable thing here is that Cloud got a strange vision of when Tifa's father was killed by Sephiroth. Cloud's weird visions and weird internal dialogue are things I assume will be delved into later. For now, they had to fight their way out of what turned out to be a trap. The president of Shinra even made an appearance to mock them, which feels like it should be below his paygrade. At least he showed what a boss he is by leaving in a helicopter to go to a fancy dinner. I made short work of the enemy robot boss, but Cloud still got knocked off a ledge by the explosion. Then, while desperately trying to look cool in front of his hot childhood friend (I chose the "be strong" option), he let go and plummeted down what looked like a lethal distance. RIP Cloud, we hardly knew ye.

...Okay, obviously he survives. A roof and a bit of dirt were enough to break his fall, somehow. Cloud, seemingly uninjured, wakes up and meets Aeris, the flower girl he'd spoken to the day before. She seemed put-off that he didn't buy a flower from her, but I didn't even know that was an option! Sorry for warning you away from the blast zone and potentially saving your life, I guess! A bad guy named Reno came in with some goons next. I thought he'd be after Cloud, but apparently he's after Aeris. Cloud helped her escape... well, not really. There was a minigame where Cloud should've pushed barrels onto the goons, but I hilariously failed at it. Aeris had to fight everyone and mostly just saved herself.

After escaping, the two went to her house to rest for the night. There were some good little moments between them, like when Cloud went too fast across the rooftops and Aeris asked him to slow down, leading to some cute teasing in both directions. She even offered to pay him for his bodyguarding with a date, and she seemed worried that Tifa might be his girlfriend. I can see some chemistry here! They might run into some problems in the future, though, because Aeris' mom asked Cloud to sneak out and not drag her along on any adventures. I don't blame you, lady. If my daughter brought home some guy with spikey anime hair, I wouldn't want them to get together either. Another thing I want to mention is that, while exploring, I found 5 gil in some kid's dresser. I opted not to steal it because the kid was in bed mumbling to himself about how he hoped no one would find his stuff. I usually loot everything I possibly can in RPGs without a thought, so good job FFVII for getting me to care about some random NPC, I guess.

I stopped playing not long after this. A few steps into the next area, Cloud and Aeris got into a battle against some sort of monstrous house. This house kicked my ass and I only made it through the fight thanks to Aeris' healing limit break. At that point I backed off, saved, and I'll probably start my next session by finding a place to grind out a few levels. Those house monsters are scary.

Anyway, I'm enjoying the game so far! It's definitely showing its age a bit, especially in the Lego character models and how difficult it often is to navigate the areas. Stuff like doors and ladders don't stand out from their surroundings much. Still, I thought VIII and IX showed their age at the beginning too, not to mention FFI and II. By the end of all of those, I'd gotten used to it and everything was fine. Once I grind some levels to make the game easier, I shouldn't have any problems. I'm intrigued by the plot so far and the characters all have a lot of potential.

Hello everyone! Over the years, I've done playthrough topics for several Final Fantasy games. Now I'm back for another... and I'm finally playing the big one. Final Fantasy VII is one of the most famous games of all time, but I've never played it. Well, my family had the PC version when I was a wee lad, but it was super broken. The only thing I remember is one cutscene where Cloud was on a motorcycle, and I only remember it because the cutscene glitched, played upside down, and then the entire game crashed. My older brother (who did most of the actual playing) and I could never get past that part.

This time, I'm playing the Steam version of the original game (not the remake). It crashed my computer once when I alt-tabbed, but I appear to have resolved that issue by playing in windowed mode. Here's hoping I don't have to end this playthrough prematurely for any glitch reasons. As for spoilers, I know some things just from hanging out on B8 all my life. For example, I know that Aeris dyes her hair. Still, for the most part, I know nothing. I hope at least a few people will join me on this blind journey through one of the most beloved games ever!

Before we begin, here's my current FF ranking. I'm sure everyone will agree that it is factually correct.

XIII > X-2 > LR > VI > WoFF > IX > VIII > X > IV(3D) > II > I > XIII-2

And here's a ranking of my current top fifteen Final Fantasy characters. I wonder if any of the VII cast will make it in?

Lighting > Yuna > Dagger > Terra > Rinoa > Squall > Eiko > Cyan > Lumina > Sazh > Rikku > Reynn > Tellah > Auron > Vanille

John Smith 1882

Ashethan posted...

Gotta get a World of Final Fantasy character in next year!!. It's actually not the worst game. Tama would be great for last place and booted.

I loved World of Final Fantasy! Reynn was my favorite but the-Tama would be fun to the-annoy people by how she the-speaks.

Principal Kohotek

Gamblor

Unsafe (91):
Allen Wrench
Bart Jr.
Blackheart
Blue Haired Lawyer
Bob the Drag Queen
Bobo
Capital City Goofball
Chewbacca
Chief Piggum
Cooder
Cowboy Bob
Dental Plan
Detective Don Brodka
Devil Flanders
Disgruntled Goat
Dr. Zaius
Evil House
Evil House XII
Fallout Boy
Freddy Quimby
Gabbo
Gamblor
General Krull
Godfrey Jones
Goobie-Woo
Hans Moleman
Happiest Clown College Grad
Head of the Kwik-E-Mart
Helen Lovejoy
Herbert Powell
Herman Hermann
Hokkaido Phone Book Librarian
Jasper Beardley
Jimmy the Squealer
John Smith 1882
Jonathan Frink Sr.
Kang
Kearney
Kearney's Other Son
Khlav Kalash Vendor
Laddie
Lard Lad
Leopold
Lisa Jr.
Little Jamshed
Lucy Lawless
Major Nougat
Mesmerino
Michael Jackson
Miguel Sanchez
Milhoose
Moe's Bar Rag
Mr. Bergstrom
Mr. Burns' Cube
Mr. McGreg
Mr. Stingely
Mr. Thompson
Mrs. Glick
Mrs. K
Osmodiar
Pepi
Principal Kohotek
Professor Lombardo
Rainier Wolfcastle
Ralph Wiggum
Rod Flanders
Samantha Stankey
Scientician that would tell you something
Scuzzo the Clown
Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure-Discothque-Simpson-D'Amico
Serak the Preparer
Shady Bird Johnson
Shelbyville Milhouse
Sherry Bobbins
Sideshow Mel
Sir Loves-A-Lot
Smilin Joe Fission
Snake
Snowball II
Snowball III
Sophie Krustofsky
Spinal Tap
Spud
Steve Mobs
The Bluebird of Unhappiness
The Grumple
The Original Alfalfa
The Puppy formerly known as Prince
The thing that crawled down Barney's throat but didn't die
Ulysses Grant
Zohar the Adulterer

Flatulent Fox

Lord Huggington

WhiteLens posted...

The last TV you bought was a CRT? Damn man, when was the last time you had a console?

I had a 360 but I hooked it up to my computer monitor. Other than that, it's Gamecube and earlier not counting handhelds

Anyway, thanks for easing my minds, everyone (at least so far). I'll continue my research and see if I can find something that works

Vanille is Strange: True Colors: Episode Three - Monster or Mortal

(I should probably have a non-Donkey Kong just in case save, just in case. There are still many more Life is Strange episodes left but I'll stop here)

Senor Spielbergo

Donkey Kong is Strange: True Colors: Episode Two - Lanterns

Does anyone here regularly stream Crunchyroll to a 4K TV? After moving some furniture around, I have room near my computer for a TV. I would exclusively use it to watch anime, though. While most TVs seem to be 4K these days, anime very much isn't. I've been researching what the automatic upscaling might do to it and the reports range from "it'll look better than ever" to "it'll look like trash". I'm afraid I would just be wasting my money, so I'd appreciate it if anyone could share real-world experience.

I figured it would be as simple as plugging a TV into my computer as a second display and then I could have a bigger screen from a comfier chair. It's been two decades since I bought a TV, I had no idea it had become so complicated!

Vanille is Strange: True Colors: Episode One - Side A

Vanille is Strange: Before the Storm: Episode Three - Hell is Empty

Jub Jub

Vanille is Strange: Before the Storm: Episode Two - Brave New World

Vanille is Strange: Before the Storm: Episode One - Awake

6/10

The ending sucks, but until then I thought it was neat and spooky