Lurker > Philoktetes

https://imgur.com/XiUsf29
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

https://imgur.com/70ofVIU
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

KrystalSNES posted...

Why is the movie Matilda all of a sudden a hot topic now? I mean its good but super random for the world to be discussing it out of the blue all day.

the actress is woke on twitter now
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

She's a pathbreaking Olympic athlete who seems to own her sexuality. She's a harsh disciplinarian, but it shes she had an unhappy life. And her fate - being gaslit and driven insane - is as sadistic as anything she inflicts on others.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

the adult swim dub is obscene and vulgar. typical [as] fare: only funny if you've damaged your brain from weed abuse

the original show and manga is cute
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

Recently they've only been giving out cabbage and bread because of a shortage of donations. Is there any way I can get creative with with this change and make some good stuff out of these cabbages and breads? I have some spices and oil too.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

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I don't think so, Tim.
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DdtlAxfVAAEybgs.jpg:large
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I don't think so, Tim.
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there's already too many lawsuits
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

pegusus123456 posted...

I once drank Turtle Wax

Poison control told my mom I'd be fine, I just might fart bubbles for a couple days

and did you
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

But after years of government handouts, people became accustomed to avoiding hard work like waxing your car. Like the government, they mostly give away money now. That's starting to change now under Trump, but it will still be years before game shows give out Turtle Wax again. My favorite game show is Press Your Luck
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

Conflict posted...

This topic wasn't funny the past 9 million times it was posted on here

that never stopped me before
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

>panic
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

I'm 40 and my son will be 18 in 2 weeks. I'm a single mom so finding any ways to connect with him and make the bond as strong as possible was always my main goal. When he was younger he didn't game too much except for Minecraft. I played more games than he did, but I set him up with a Steam account a few years back and we've had fun playing together. On Spring Break in 2015 we spent every day playing Saints Row 3. The last day of the break we stayed up as long as we could and I was so tempted to let us both take one more day off to just play a little more that night. He's moved on to consoles but I love watching him play sometimes. We still talk about games every day anyway. It's one of my favorite bonding experiences with him
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I don't think so, Tim.
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it's gross
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I don't think so, Tim.
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what do people do with all this money
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I don't think so, Tim.
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if you think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk...

you might be a redneck
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

turns out it wasnt the mining rig. someone was just trying to charge their samsung galaxy phone.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

DavidWong posted...

black people can't stop being black

fat people can stop being fat

this is fatphobic thinking
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

Yeah right

Then I'm gonna wipe my butt and take a shit lol
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

yes I'm fat

you don't have to be ____ to be offended by _____ shaming tho

lots of non-blacks are offended by racism

it's called basic human empathy
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

Reis posted...

Can someone link where he got this from, I'm too lazy to do it this time

don't doxx me

and don't implore other people to doxx me when you don't want to do it yourself
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

no but Last Man Standing got un-cancelled
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

I used to love The Simpsons when I was little but it wasnt until I recently bought the DVDs that I realized just how hateful and fatphobic the show could be. Off the top of my head, here are a few examples:

- Homer, who is a large man himself, often says No fat chicks!

- In The Springfield Files, Scully makes Homer run on a treadmill in the guise of it being an important test, but she really just thinks he should lose some weight. She then says that his flab jiggles like a lava lamp.

- In Homers Triple-Bypass, Dr Hibbert gives Homer a fat analysis test by making his belly flab jiggle and seeing how long it takes to stop. It doesnt stop jiggling at all, and Dr Hibbert tells his nurse to cancel his 2:00 appointment.

- In the episode The Last Exit to Springfield, Lisa notices Bart is putting on weight and says, Hey tubby, want another pop-tart, tubby?

- In the episode Treehouse of Horror I, the aliens Kang and Kodos abduct the Simpson family, but Homer is so fat that the tractor beam cannot carry him up to the spaceship, so the aliens turn on multiple tractor beams just to get him up there.

In the episode Treehouse of Horror VI, Homer disappears into an alternate universe and Patty and Selma joke that he disappeared into fat air.

- In the episode Love Is A Many Strangled Thing, Homer boards a boat and there is a sign at the door that says, Weight limit: One Precious

- In the episode Donny Fatso, Fat Tony dies of a heart-attack and is replaced by his cousin Fit Tony.who then becomes Fat Tony when he stops exercising and starts eating lots of junk food.

- In the episode Bart After Dark, Mr Burns reveals that he hates being outdoors because there are too many fat children.

- In the episode Lisa On Ice, Homer makes fun of an 8 year old boy for having breasts, then chases him around the locker room while laughing. The boy then says, Dont make me run, Im full of chocolate!

In the episode The Homer They Call, a man says to Comic Book Guy, A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fanyou must be a devil with the ladies. This isnt the first time Comic Book Guy has been mocked for his weight.

- In the episode Brother Can You Spare A Dime, a doctor is confused when it is revealed that Homer has 104% body fat. The extra 4% is then revealed to be the fatty foods that Homer smuggled into the doctors office.

- In the episode Lisa The Simpson, Lisa is terrified that she will lose her intelligence and envisions what her life will be like if she was dumb. In her vision she is as an obese redneck who needs a prying bar just to get off the couch.

In the episode Springfield Up, Homer insists he is fat because he has a glandular problem. The tone of this scene implies we are meant to laugh at Homer here.

- In the episode Sweets and Sour Marge, the town attempts to create the biggest human pyramid in the world but they fail when everybody falls down due to their immense weight. It is then learned that Springfield is the fattest town in the ENTIRE WORLD, which leads Marge to sue the local sugar company for making people fat. (Because obviously the only way people can be fat is due to sugar, right? Ugh)

- In the same episode, we are introduced the Cletus cousin Dia-Betty (get it? Diabetes!) who is morbidly obese and a parody of Bonnie Grape from Whats Eating Gilbert Grape.

- The episode King Size Homer is probably the worst. Homer strives to gain lots of weight so that he can claim disability and work from home (which is a problematic concept to begin with). When Homer goes to the cinema, they wont allow him inside because hes too big for the seats.

- In the same episode, Bart fantasizes about becoming so fat he has to wash himself with a rag on a stick.

Those are just a handful of gross examples of The Simpsons joking about or flat-out mocking fatness.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

It's ruining my yard aesthetic
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

you're not fat, you're just on the wrong planet :)
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I don't think so, Tim.
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https://imgur.com/FweRrVl
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

ImAppleJackFU posted...

The country HAS RAN OUT OF FOOD.

*RUN

why does everyone have such a hard time using past participles nowadays
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

i have some kind of heart problem i guess, i almost blacked out a few times cause my heart started going crazy. when i got to the er it was 239 bpm so they used a chemical to stop it and let it reset. now im fine and i have to take a pill every day. having you heart stop even for a few seconds feels very bad and i dont think i want to do that again.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

how much does it pay? are there benefits? oh, and i'll need every friday off
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I don't think so, Tim.
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my b

all i searched for was "consent"
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

https://globalnews.ca/news/4202437/consent-changing-diapers/

Liberalism is a mental disorder
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I don't think so, Tim.
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this is harsh, but you have to think harshly to rule the world

there's no room for emotion in politics
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

why does it matter if the president is working with Putin

we're not at war with russia or anything
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

https://imgur.com/hwQpGRX

no respect at all
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I don't think so, Tim.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

shopping is a hobby
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/09/doug-patti-ending/



The story of Doug has always been synonymous with the life of Jinkins, who conceived of the character in the early 80s as a cartoon alter ego. Many of the shows storylines came from Jinkins own life, and that same logic now applies to the filmic follow-up Jinkins has begun writing. The setting: Its the eve of Dougs 10-year reunion, and Doug (much like Jinkins) is a freelance artist living in the big city. Skeeters his roommate, Judys performing off Broadway, Porkchops (inexplicably) alive and then theres Patti.

What happened to the love of Dougs life? Thats where Jinkins tale about his surprise reconnection with the real Patti Mayonnaise comes in. If you want to know what happens to Doug, you must first find out what happened to Jim:

Its my ten-year reunion, and I didnt go. I was in New York working like crazy as a freelancer and just trying to make it there. And I got a phone call in New York and its Patti. The real Patti. And my hearts beating fast. Shes like, I was at the reunion! You werent! and I was like, YeahsorryI had to work. And she goes, I found out you live in New York. Guess whatI do, too! And she told me where she lives. We lived across Central Park from each other. And she says, Why dont you come over for dinner?

So now were in a Doug show. Im like, what do I wear? What will she look like!? All thats happening as Im walking across Central Park to her apartment, just wondering and just hoping, all those things. I was, at the time, very available.

I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turnits getting ready to happenand she opens the door, and shes perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and shes so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and Im just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs! [Laughs.] It sounds like Im making this up, right? And Im like, Yeah yeah, uh huh! Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look! And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but its like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

So this is all wonderful, right? And then she wheels and goes, Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.

And I dont even remember the rest of the evening.

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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

cost of living is higher in beverly hills

she has a valid complaint
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

im american so i couldnt try beer til i was 21
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

cjayc wanted this to be a text-only websight anyway
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

You, like so many other men at some point in your life decided to see what the big fuss was. You took your first sip of that watery, bitter, amber liquid and recoiled in disgust. "but I'm a man," you think, "and men are SUPPOSED to like beer. It's the natural order of things." So you kept drinking. You drank until your taste buds became numb to its yeasty bite. "Aha!" you proclaimed in your secured masculinity. " Looks like I finally acquired a taste for beer!"

Yet still, upon every night out on the town, as your female company orders their grape juice and tequila infused slushies, you look upon them with wistful envy. "I'll take a beer." you say to the bartender, a sadness behind your eyes. Because men drink beer. It's the natural order of things. And you are a man, aren't you?
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

don't doxx me
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

When I was 17 my friends all got "DJ Hero" so I went over to their house to hang out with my girlfriend and check it out. After about 45 minutes of everyone sitting around mute, nearly unblinking and jaws agape transfixed by arbitrarily shifting patterns of blinking lights my girlfriend went "Guys this is like.. really sad right now." At that moment something clicked and I felt this amazing head rush-like moment of clarity where it all seemed so fucking stupid to be pissing away our lives like this.

Me and my girlfriend left to go drive to the trestle and do some naughty bits. When we arrived back six hours later, they were still there and it didn't look like anyone had moved from their posts except now strewn about there were drink cans and food wrappers all around them. I started to feel physically ill looking at a half-eaten plate of chicken wings and walked outside to burn a stogie. Instead of going back inside when I was done I just drove home without telling them or saying anything. I haven't touched or played a video game since and in fact I actively avoid them. If someone starts talking to me about video games I get kind of aggressive to be honest and I will literally tell them to stop talking to their face and just say over and over "Don't care sorry. I don't do that shit, no idea what you're talking about". I guess in a way my aggression is kind of trying to shame others into having that moment of clarity themselves and realizing they need to change.

That's my story.
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I don't think so, Tim.
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is there anything wrong with this
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

DUI, but i was totally cool to drive
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

I drove myself to the prison, which is a massive, decaying fortress of brutalist architecture. I met with a secretary that my lawyer told me to specifically ask for at the prison administration office, a pretty older woman named Sabrina. I sat and waited on a very low couch for the arresting officer to come and process me, while Sabrina and a barrel-chested police captain talked about how I would not need to go through conventional arrest processing. Apparently, my lawyer had spoken to the captain, and I was to be released on my own recognizance without paying a bond.

Two young officers, who could not be more than four years older than me, came to pick me up, and I walked between them to the prison facility itself. A bleary-eyed woman in orange scrubs looked at me from behind her hands through a holding cell window while I waited for the arresting officer to get the paperwork prepared. I don't know exactly what my lawyer arranged with the captain, but I skipped most of the processing, as in, no pat-down, no strip-search, nothing. Not even taking off my shoes. When they took my wallet, keys, and phone, they didn't even check them in, he just put them in a plastic bag.

I kept calling the arresting officer "sir" and eventually he said, "I'm only four years older than you, you don't have to call me 'sir'." He was professional and polite while I got my picture and fingerprints taken. He even talked to me about my job while he was processing my fingerprints. I think he could tell that I was incredibly nervous. And I was; I was absolutely fucking terrified.

The worst part was right before I left. I was waiting to get my things back, and I saw two men being led in handcuffs to an old, worn door labeled "Men's Shower". And these two men, one white and one black, about in their late 30's or early 40's, were very neatly groomed, like they had just walked in the jail from outside and put on orange scrubs as some kind of costume. They were two completely normal, regular dudes. The entire experience to this point had been eye-opening, but when I saw those two men, I realized that they could be anyone. They could even be me.

When I was leaving, the guard, an old black man, said with a smile, "now get on out of here and I hope I don't see you here no more."

I have been so fucking lucky so far. I could have hurt someone. I could have killed someone. I never, ever want to see the inside of a prison in real life ever again, and I will never again be so foolish as to risk my own life or the lives of others. I'm not even upset about my picture getting taken and inevitably winding up in the Jail Report (which is very popular around here). If anyone gives me a hard time for it, I will simply reply, "that's none of your business", because it really isn't. This is my struggle and mine alone.

I was far more brave today than I ever thought I could be.
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

Chicken posted...

Its a show for people who think theyre nerds because theyve seen star trek.

wil wheaton was in this ep too
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~

Chicken posted...

Why would you watch that shit

it's epic

if you're a nerd or if you love science, you'll like this show
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I don't think so, Tim.
~~ Pizza Crew ~~