Lurker > Leight_Weight

DonerKebab posted...

Marijuana. Not even once.

Hm? Second paragraph, last word

Lying awake tonight again - day 31 with no cannabis. Can't sleep for more than 2-3 hours every night.

I used to drink three 30 packs a week, and smoke a lot of cigarettes. Well I was able to quit that cold turkey 2 1/2 years ago. Instead of choosing a healthy alternative, I decided to self medicate with marijuana.

I thought it was helping. I thought it was curing my anxiety and depression. It wasn't. It was actually making it worse. I smoked 3/4 oz a week, and 1g vape every 3-5 days. I knew it was too much, but I was "high functioning", so I deluded myself into thinking it was ok.

No one ever explained what happens when you smoke like this and then quit cold turkey. Night sweats, insomnia, any food triggering my gag reflex. Anxiety through the fucking roof. No one ever said there were side effects to this drug, but when you go to bed stoned, you lose your REM sleep. I never realized I hadn't had a dream in almost 3 years.

Well now, the dreams are starting to come back, but they aren't dreams. They're nightmares. Vivid nightmares of getting divorced. Of my kids dying. My biggest insecurities come to life.

I've been drinking and smoking to cope with my feelings for so long, I don't actually know what true happiness is. Or true sadness. I've ghosted everyone in my life. All my friends, all my family, and now there's no one left.

Being permastoned is no way to live - it allowed me to be content with my life passing me by. Now, I've destroyed all of my relationships, and I've missed a lot of events that I can never get back.

If anyone else is out there living the way I was choosing to, I implore you to stop. Weed is more destructive than people think. Especially if you struggle with addiction.

/blogfaqs

Same. Mine has been out for about an hour and a half. It's -4 outside but 25mph winds so it says feels like -35. I live out in the middle of a cornfield. Hopefully it comes back on soon or it's gonna get p chilly in here

UnholyMudcrab posted...

I haven't gone anywhere

!!!

Can I have your autograph?

Any ship that can refuel in a port.

I once kept driving wayyyy past the E on my tank. It was a surreal experience for me. I eventually blacked out, and woke up almost in the ditch. When I came to, the car was running, and the tank was full somehow. I don't know who did it, and I never got the chance to thank them

Come and See

DocileOrangeCup posted...

I remember E3. Wasn't he the guy with really big nips or am I thinking of someone else

Yeah his nips were huge and he was always PMing me asking what kind of laundry soap I used. I had to report him multiple times

What happened to everyone? Who are all these people?