Lurker > BlueCrystalTear

GavsEvans123 posted...

I think what really got me is that pretty much everyone goes out of their way to be as mean to Arthur as possible, in big ways like being physically assaulted or humiliated live on TV, or in small ways like that lady who yells at him on the bus while he's entertaining her son. Even Alfred is a jerk in this universe! Arthur is just one of those people the world hates and seems to take great enjoyment from making his life a misery at every opportunity. Even after all of that, Joker isn't totally irredeemable yet. He let Gary leave his apartment, even though he could have easily reported the crime he witnessed to the police.

I feel like I'm one of "those people the world hates" too. It's why I lack confidence at this point. No matter what I do, people hate me. People just love shitting on me for whatever reason, though thankfully I haven't been physically assaulted the way Arthur was... twice. I'm just glad I have friends and family. Because they're really my only exceptions - without them, I'd probably lose my mind.

There's a reason I found that one pretty depressing in some ways. Even talked to my therapist about it... that might be why I wasn't feeling like watching anything in particular tonight.

P.S. Glad you enjoyed it to some effect. Not sure on that theory though... haven't seen any of the DCEU since I haven't heard much good about it.

Post

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/79787241/970250755

(Zestiria, specifically)

Mewtwo59 posted...

So I guess this means you won't be playing through the post-game dungeon?

I didn't do anything like that with Berseria because I was tired of equipment management. I don't really feel like doing that here at all, so maybe I'll just go do Berseria's instead...

IDK, it feels liberating to not have to worry about Zestiria anymore.

I turned down the difficulty to Moderate. That was more of a challenge than I anticipated, but....

GAME. BEATED.

About fucking time.

Nothing really to discuss. After the dragon form, there was a 1-on-1 between Sorry and Heldalf. Just by activating a Mystic Arte, I killed Heldalf and there really wasn't anything more to it than that. He was grousing about a new Lord of Calamity being born and yadda yadda yadda and Sorry just impaled him even though his bond with Maotelus was severed. Maotelus had no speaking role as Sorry formed a pact with him or something, IDK.

Despite having been fired at Heldalf, the four seraphs all survived, as did Rose, who Sorry had cut off abruptly for no reason and mouthed something like "I love you" to her, I think? Where the hell did that come from? There had been zero romantic inclinations between the two of them and they just spooned this on at the end thinking it would actually be believable. Their relationship during the game felt much more business-oriented than anything due to just how poorly-written this was.

The ending has the seraphim watching a new shepherd laying a white rose at a grave, probably... Rose's? I had to look this up, apparently that's years later when her guildmates were aging. This ending was way too ambiguous and hard to keep track of. They could've at least answered a few questions, like about Sorry becoming a protector seraph or whatever and allowing humans and seraphim to communicate. Did he actually do that? Did he succeed? What was the point of having more Shepherds if Sorry was supposed to be the last one? Why was Rose alone? It's just too much too fast without answering anything. If you're going to ask questions with your ending, fucking answer the ones you've already asked. The best endings, in my opinion, are ones that answer all the big questions but, in doing so, ask a lot more that leaves what happens next open to interpretation.

Seriously, I just wanted to put myself out of my misery. Here's what I liked about this game:
-The music, particularly Go Shiina's originals, was fantastic and a much-needed departure from the redundancy of the Sakuraba scores
-Edna, as the only party member actively TRYING to create cast chemistry
-World-building was good, though under-utilized

Here's what I didn't like:
-The cast was too business-oriented and rarely got to let loose, thus lacking chemistry
-Bland dialogue - I rarely found myself laughing the way I did in Berseria
-The voice acting was average
-Bare-bones character development
-Rose was always meant to have sound logic and be infallible. While she's a Mary Sue, I didn't find her as abhorrent as others do, but I don't really like her much.
-It felt like the last third of the game was written with Berseria's existence in mind without them going back and revising the first two thirds
-The plot justifications were often poor or nonexistent due to the sloppy writing; too many things at endgame just didn't make sense or came out of nowhere
-The ending was terrible. Way too ambiguous - it literally didn't explain anything at all, like you were working toward nothing
-Humans being unable to see seraphim throughout the entire game was a grave issue; there should've been plot events that changed this
-Armatization got stale fast and made the battle system too one-dimensional
-The battle system camera was wonky and at times hindered my ability to win a fight
-Enemy diversity in areas felt even scarcer than other Tales titles
-The higher difficulties felt untested and unrefined, leading some fights to be broken, including the final boss
-Some character designs didn't feel right or were unmemorable - Rose is the most guilty, but Sorry is as generic as can be too. Best designs are Alisha's and Edna's, and I particularly liked how Edna's design was meant as an antithesis to her character
-A convoluted skill system where you had no way to control which skills you'd get on which weapons, yet had to combo them anyway to unlock characters' full potential; it was contradictory
-The UI was terrible. The worst part was in shops when you were upgrading weapons, you couldn't see how new fusions would affect your skills and had to back out and deduce it yourself. Like... what? A lot of time was spent in menus just doing that. The game menu was also too structured and to get to what you wanted you had to navigate specifically, when there should've been ways
-No real way to track Code Reds or herbs like existed in Berseria, which made for a bunch of headaches
-Stupid shit like relegating skits to save points and inns only, the snack system, Windstepping not being permanent...

I could probably name more things. But really, the game is abysmally written. I still remember things like that scene in Marlind with Rose and Dezel that was written by a 6 y/o, the Wind Temple having people committing suicide off the top despite there being no real way for them to get up there, and the absolutely baffling setup for the Scattered Bones execution.

But the game never develops its world beyond what is initially established - it lays the baseline and that's it. Nothing really changes in the game, and it should. It feels like the game was a whole lot of nothing, and the battles being far less fun than most Tales offerings certainly didn't help carry me through it. All I did most of the time was button mash and it worked fine for comboing. Previous titles actually had you think about your loadouts so you'd know what to combo.

I honestly think the only reasons I kept going were 1) it's Tales and 2) this topic existed. Oh and MAYBE 3) I was looking for things to scrutinize.

In the end, the only people I'd recommend play this game are the Tales diehards and RPG game developers, the latter so they can see everything this game did wrong so they'd know not to replicate it. This is about even with Skyward Snore for the worst game I've ever beated, and I don't know why I forced myself to do it. I look back and feel like I got nothing from it, except this freedom. This amazing sense of freedom from playing this shit. I'd give it a 3/10 - it's playable, but that's about it. I'm sorry you had to get shoved into this shitshow, Edna.

But at least we got Berseria to redeem the franchise. I'll just pretend Zestiria doesn't exist in the same world.

Was feeling like an action/thriller tonight but couldn't go over two hours, so this one it is:

Lucky Number Slevin (2006)
Directed by: Paul McGuigan
Written by: Jason Smilovic
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman, Sir Ben Kingsley
Previous status: Don't recall

"You mean this isn't the first time a crime lord asked you to kill the gay son of a rival gangster to pay off a debt that belongs to a friend whose place you're staying in as a result of losing your job, your apartment, and finding your girlfriend in bed with another guy?"

Lucy Liu absolutely NAILED Lindsey, and I think that's a great place to start. Such a fun, bubbly character that recaps everything that just happened in genius fashion. The dialogue between her and Slevin (Hartnett) is just great, and I found myself laughing at all their James Bond jokes seeing as I have all those movies memorized. This really shows Lucy Liu's range as an actress - she's usually not the one letting loose in the movies I've seen.

While this movie was enjoyable, I wouldn't call it anything special. It didn't make me buzz the way other thrillers did, and it excels in some areas while not as much in others. The entire plan was quite ingenious - Slevin's revenge scheme on the people who killed his parents, who became high-ranking crime bosses in NYC, and his stepdad, Smith Goodkat (Willis), who was also in that organization but couldn't bring himself to kill a 10 y/o boy. I mean... what kind of assassin could? Only a total monster.

This is quickly what cures my heart attack when Smith shoots Lindsey at her work, the coroner's office, because she knew too much. Slevin can't bring himself to kill someone that awesome, who gave better sex than his cheating ex-girlfriend, who really understood him and with whom he has a good rapport... if Smith wanted grandkids, that's his ticket. So he gets her a Kevlar vest and this lets her fake her death, which thus allows her to skip town with him.

There was a lot to like here. While I did enjoy the ornate set design of The Boss's and The Rabbi's offices, I didn't understand why the apartment complex was like that too. It didn't really make any sense given the standard apartment design. The opulence of the crime lords' offices worked to establish their characters - not to already mention Morgan Freeman's air of authority, which is just something he carries with him such as when he plays God. Another thing done right is the double chess game with The Boss, with both Smith and Slevin playing him in their deceptive game. The whole plan was quite brilliant...

...have Smith infiltrate them both using the old connection. Have Slevin take the place of Nick Fisher, whom Smith had killed earlier, because he owed a lot of money to the bookies who worked for both Boss and Rabbi. This let Slevin get caught up in their whole world and he could come and go as he pleased, allowing conflicting offers to be present. And this is all because Slevin murdered Boss's son to start it off, as Boss immediately thought it was Rabbi who'd taken out the hit. Oops! Rabbi's son dies too at the hands of Slevin simply because Slevin pretends to be gay even though he was on a date with Lindsey and "got a date" - the date of death - and BOOM! The original plan was to make Lindsey think Slevin had died in the explosion, but to save her life, Slevin had to tell her he was switching the watches as a trick. This was all fascinating plot work here and the reveal was amazing. The most surprising part was that Detective Brickowski was also a bad guy, having been the one to murder Slevin's mother. He was then shot by Slevin. Revenge complete on all affiliated parties.

All this was so cool and so good, with the ending making up for the heart attack that I had to heal earlier. The writing was good. The dialogue was good. The movie had a great sense of humor (i.e. Slevin being shirtless when abducted). I don't find the overall mindfuck to be as memorable as I have others, so I'm thinking a 4/5 sounds right. Definitely will come back to this one when I'm binging thrillers.

Not sure which account you're using since you haven't PMed me in forever (get on that, okay?) but @FigureOfSpeech @Machete I hope I get a hold of you either way!

WALL-E (2008)
Directed by: Andrew Stanton
Written by: Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Pete Docter
Starring: Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin
Previous status: Never seen

"Directive?"

Low on character development and interaction - I mean, there are only NINE total credited characters, several of them minor - and high on visuals and setting, WALL-E was a dramatic departure from Pixar's usual storycraft. Inspired by seeing love in Hello, Dolly, a robot gains sentience and finds a female robot with whom he quickly wishes to cyber. I mean, that's how robots fuck, yeah? When EVE lands on Earth, WALL-E just starts stalking her. He doesn't even go up to say "Hi" or try to help her. He just stares and this keeps him getting shot at. Her immediate aggression is... intimidating. But so is WALL-E not actually initiating conversation and only getting mauled by shopping carts. LOL!

It becomes immediately apparent that this movie has an underlying environmental message that, if we don't clean up our act, Earth really will look like this someday. Remember to reduce, reuse, and recycle, people! Don't litter and take care of things so you don't have to throw stuff out as often. Challenge corporations to be held more accountable for their wastefulness in the name of greed. But anyway, this is told through the setting and actions, not through dialogue. What little dialogue exists is adorably awkward - WALL-E and EVE saying each other's names. All his desperate attempts to impress her are actions only. She was certainly the plot twist his boring life needed. He was pointlessly compacting garbage for no real purpose, since Earth is a barren wasteland by then. Because corporations are assholes and consumerism is too rampant. Which is why everyone aboard the Axiom is basically an obese zombie, because they... don't walk anywhere.

The beautiful visuals are magnificent, and it makes me glad that I'm not overly consumeristic - yes, I bought all these DVDs, but so what? I'm not buying everything I want because I want it. I'm not maxing out my credit card. In fact, my credit score is 800 because I pay off anything before it becomes debt. While I am overweight, I still get 10,000 steps a day, and don't like being too sedentary except on the occasional necessary slug day. Really, I wouldn't want to live like this. Sure, some technology is nice to have. Like having a button to close your trunk is great when you've got your hands full, but why can't you ALSO close it the old-fashioned way when you put whatever IN the trunk? Know what I mean? That's what this is getting at. Dystopian sci-fi 101.

It's truly magnificent how this film can tell a story while hardly using words. It gets the point across: Technology is a good thing, but also a bad thing. Consumerism is a bad thing. Corporations are evil, and only care about their bottom line. Ppl r dum. I'm repeating myself a lot. You get the point. I get the message. I agree with the message. I don't fall victim to those things. I am smart with my money.

Thinking EVE is being tortured by a diagnostic procedure, WALL-E inadvertently releases a bunch of faulty robots onto the airship. This was a triumph. In what was a corporate scheme, the cleaning robot puts the plant in a pod that he programs to go kablooie, but WALL-E recovers it and survives the boom with a fire extinguisher. Okay then. He returns the plant to EVE - there's a lot of affection between these two, even in the vacuum of space. WALL-E's space dance is noticed by Mary and John, two humans he'd previously encountered, who... actually connect socially instead of using robotic screen devices or whatever. I must inquire... how do people on the Axiom procreate? Brave New World type shit? ORGY PORGY FORD AND FUN, KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM ONE...

Okay, now that that tangent's done, the "Auto" robot (the pre-Siri Apple voice, because Steve Jobs was evil) reveals itself to be the villain, trying to control the lemmings for its own satisfaction. The recordings of a LIVE PRESIDENT show the story of Earth's end - and Auto is immediately challenged by the Captain, who wants to freaking live. Surviving is only part of life. There's no point of being sentient if that's all you are - you exist, but are suspended in the universe, serving no purpose. During the scuffle in the garbage chute, WALL-E and EVE are officially introduced to MO, the cleaning robot who had painstakingly been cleaning up WALL-E's tracks before the Captain had him cleaned. Lots of fun stuff in the subsequent confrontations, namely with the defective robots taking out the drones, KNOWING that WALL-E and EVE are the good guys.

The Captain fakes Auto out by pretending he has the plant using a hologram of EVE carrying it and does battle, accidentally causing the ship to go into emergency mode and all the blobs of blubber to be evacuated centrally. Their chairs are all destroyed, so Auto's control over them is gone even if he still has the ship. The people watch the Captain get up as if it were a movie and do battle with the evil robot overlord, turning him off. The people suddenly learn to walk again as EVE mourns the death of WALL-E, crushed by the plant detector... and the Axiom hits light-speed, warping to what is left of Earth.

EVE returns to WALL-E's home, trying to revive him with the spare parts he's collected from his deceased colleagues. WALL-E comes back to life, with his solar recharge boosting... but he lacks the sentience he used to have. EVE tries to remind him of this, failing time after time... until she surprisingly kisses him. This... because robots... seems to restore WALL-E's last backup, stored inside EVE's memory. They hold hands and embrace, then presumably cyber. Earth is slowly restored by people doing actual work, living off the land, and taking care of each other.

Great movie. While it's practically the same movie as The Spirits Within, this had more plot and societal commentary. Both are visual masterpieces, but this one had a better story and that's the most important thing. I'd say Spirits Within had better characters because that wasn't a focal point of WALL-E. But it didn't need to be and succeeded in spite of that. Because I can't see myself returning to this one on a frequent basis, it's not going to get a gold, but it's still a 5/5.

@MetalmindStats I'll move your nomination to Up, which now has 3 votes so that'll be happening in the next few days for sure. Haven't had one hit three votes until now!

Okay, I went and added another 20ish movies to THE LIST. This includes The Usual Suspects as well as the remaining Resident Evil movies. This is because I want to fill up the last movie shelf of DVD cabinet I built myself from scratch (if you don't see a certain movie, that's because it's in a jewel case or online only):
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/6/4/AAR0ZFAAD_rg.jpg
Once that last shelf is filled, that's it, no more movies. If you REALLY want me to add something to THE LIST, feel free to make a suggestion. (Also worth noting: This is a pic from when I first completed it; I moved some things around since that time)

Feel free to take another gander (Johnbobb: I've added your initial Sweeney Todd nomination, so you have 6 at present but that will be reduced to 5 once I watch one). I'll be watching several over the next few days (finally) at varying times. Well not Saturday, but every other day now through Monday I plan to watch one or two! (A lot does depend on how Mafia goes)

Additionally, next week I will be watching a Christmas movie at some point, regardless of nominations. Whether that's Elf or Fred Claus or something I'm forgetting or something on Disney+ is up in the air unless somebody wants to point me in a specific direction.

Gave it another go. It did not go any better than last time. But more on that in a bit - firstly I'll do a recap of the badness of what happened before it. Trust me, this was abysmal. The writing here is so bad that I wrote better stuff than this when I was in 5th grade.

There's a scene by the door where Sorry magically knows Heldalf is in there. No mention of malevolence pouring out of it. No, he just automatically knows. Sorry and Mikleo just go first and the others debate whether they're strong or scared regarding Gramps, a scene that was meant to serve as a reminder that Gramps is in there. Which he is because he needed to be.

All of a sudden, Heldalf apparently has an evil plot much akin to Artorius a thousand years prior, which is precisely why he's made the Empyrean's Throne his home: Erase pain from this world. But this too would eradicate joy, and people wouldn't feel anything. Because they wouldn't. All of this came out of nowhere. Really, there'd only been a few interactions between Sorry and Heldalf before this, and we'd never really become aware of his plot because we were never made aware of his plot. No, that's not word count padding - it's emphasizing how bad and out-of-nowhere this is. He was just a one-dimensional bad guy in the way, and this felt like total fluff to justify it.

Halfway into the fight, Heldalf reveals his palm and Gramps is trapped in there. The game underscores this by having him yowl in pain or whatever and blah blah blah we'll purify you and free him but Lailah is doubtful blah blah blah what ever just countie voting. I never had much of an attachment to Gramps. I did not FEEL what Sorry and Mikleo did about him. He was only featured a small handful of times: The beginning of the game, a sidequest, the time when Rose got to see Elysia, and the flashback. I did not have the same attachment to the character that the protagonist did, which is a failure of writing. If your protagonist feels betrayed, the player should feel some of that pain. If your protagonist feels desperate to save somebody, the player should want to save that person. Maybe I've played too many games to the point of feeling apathy, but... I don't think that's it. I think it's that Gramps was simply Sorry and Mikleo's caretaker and nothing more than that.

The game attempts to rectify this somewhat after Heldalf's first form is defeated, with a couple of flashbacks, but it's too little, too late. Those flashbacks should've been something recurring throughout the game. Remember in Lastonbury when I praised the party interaction, and said I'd wished the game had more scenes like that? Flashbacks could've been a product of those scenes, too, which would've gotten the player more invested in the character motivations and added complexity. Anyway, Sorry and Mikleo exorcise Gramps from Heldalf, killing him in the process and getting them a "Well done" in his voice that makes it seem that he recognized he needed to die for Heldalf to as well. We are never told of this.

This entire sequence is just stupid, because Gramps all of a sudden is the whole motivation, when just a little before it was "Freeing the world of pain isn't the answer!" despite that not having been something shown before (one would've thought Heldalf would've been taking steps toward that goal, when instead he'd just been pouring malevolence over the world). No, they wanted to settle this score and find Gramps going in, so the waffling is just bad. Mikleo tries to stop Rose from slicing Heldalf's throat because he hasn't processed that there's no other way yet, and then he suddenly changes his mind to help Sorry bear the burden. This means Mikleo has gotten weaker as a person. Whatever Sorry does, Mikleo does too. He hasn't learned to stand on his own two feet and make his own choices and honestly felt like a more independent decision-maker early in the game.

After Gramps is exorcised and dissipates. Heldalf summons Maotelus and armatizes with him. Recall that Heldalf is fused with Velvet/Innominat but doing so has bonded him with Maotelus, allowing him to armatize magically because he can. This is our first time seeing Maotelus outside of the opening sequence so the investment is gone, which is good for someone who's played Berseria and knows about its dumb ending that didn't feel necessary.

Every quarter of the way through the fight, Heldalf starts launching this ultimate attack that insta-kills everybody in the party, meaning game over. As he does this, you're supposed to beat the shit out of him and knock him down, then fire one of the seraphs into him, taking that seraph out of the battle but severing one of the threads of his bond. The problem? I can't cause enough damage. Playing on Hard, he has 280,000 HP (I mean he is the final boss) and I need to take out 70K per "quarter." I've caused a fifth of that (14K) and it's still not enough. I think this fight wasn't properly tested on higher difficulties. Because this game sucks.

Part of me just wants to lower the difficulty to Moderate and get this shitshow done with. Part of me wants to see this through to completion on Hard as I'd planned, because Moderate would be too easy. If any of you are still reading this, please advise! All that said, Rose's third-grader level AI isn't helping much, since she'll get herself killed after de-armatizing for no reason, and that won't help my damage output. This really would be a lot better if I had somebody to play this with who'd actually be trying.

But instead, I'm gonna make another trip to Ladylake to hopefully gain another level, alongside better weapons. Current sword is a Caliburnus because that has an Arte Attack boost and the Adamantine Sword doesn't.

Just be prepared for a really scathing full review when I'm finished. Really, the best thing about this game? The music.

I almost posted this in the depression topic. For serious. This is going to be a dark and brutal read, so... yeah. Forgive the introspection. I tried to go light on it.

Joker (2019)
Directed by: Todd Phillips
Written by: Todd Phillips & Scott Silver
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Robert de Niro, Zazie Beetz, Frances Conroy
Previous status: Never seen

"I just hope my death makes more sense than my life."

Damn, this one hit really close to home. I'm no murdering psycho, but some of Arthur Fleck's traits align closely with my own, and I'm trying my best to reject turning into an incel but... that's what society has already labeled me. And there's really nothing I can do about that. Because, as this movie shows, you tend to become what you're labeled. That and, well, people suck. That's a lesson I've learned time and time again.

Firstly, I found this movie difficult to place in the timeline - it certainly was before the 90s based on the tech and the smoking indoors, but based on the psychiatric medications it couldn't be too far before the 90s. I looked it up and it said 1981, which makes sense in the Nolan trilogy timeline (so Batman would be ~34 y/o in Batman Begins, which makes sense). From the start, it's evident that Arthur Fleck (Phoenix) is insane. He even has a card that explains his fits of laughter, but not everyone is sympathetic toward his mental health issues. This is evident when three bullies throw him on the floor of a subway and start kicking him, only to all be shot dead because Arthur had a gun on him. This was 100% in self-defense and, if witnessed, would be wholly justified. Honestly, Arthur should've just shot one guy in the leg - non-lethal damage that would get the others to back off and panic. Evidence found on his clothing would corroborate him being kicked. No 90s fancy forensics needed. It was great to see those thugs get theirs - more people need to stand up for themselves, and that's something I am working on. Just, y'know, without a gun.

There are other things I relate to. Arthur's fantastical illusions of his neighbor Sophie (Beetz), for instance, were something to make him feel loved, to feel needed, to have someone to kiss to decompress - I speak from experience, because I need that. I dream of what I lack, what I need, and completely understand. That said him following her in the creepy way he did (which was actuality) was not cool - he should've, y'know, talked to her, asked her out, etc. Because her coming to his door was a fantasy of his, as was her involvement everywhere else after that until he intruded upon her apartment and creeped her out. I had thought she was going to die, and her illusive self did in a way. Then she went poof and Arthur forgot all about her... more on that later.

There's also Robert de Niro's character, late-night talk show host Murray Phillips, who's good at his job. Makes the jokes and is very, very good at improv, as evidenced when he calls Arthur to come on down the first time. Arthur's "So Bad It's Good" stand-up routine got a lot of hits too, and Murray was fully aware of who it was. I wonder if that mockery was meant to help further Arthur's career - we all know that covfefe drives up ratings. If the pundits are all talking about how controversial X is, people are gonna check it out.

Arthur's mom is just as mental as he is - and she's been spinning this huge lie for him his entire life when she had abused him as a young lad, one she'd adopted off the street. She had lied to him that he was her son and an illegitimate heir to the Wayne fortune, which Thomas Wayne quickly denies when confronted. He's the one who started the tailspin, which ended up claiming his life and that of his wife, leaving a 9 y/o Bruce to inherit it all. Joe Chill saw them and killed them, exacting revenge.

Really, Arthur is a fascinating central psychopath here, and his transformation into Joker is wholly understandable. This is pretty spot-on in how psycho killers come to be - and I know that in a parallel universe I may have transformed into that, but I'd never hurt anyone except in self-defense if I'm cornered. From this angle, the film is enjoyable at the same time it is off-putting. I wanted to love it, but part of me just couldn't because of how it made me feel sick in some ways. This really shook me in ways I'd rather not talk about.

Though let's be clear: I don't know what was real and what wasn't, because it all ended with him being questioned in Arkham, where he might've been after suffocating his psycho mother to death as revenge for lying to him. Or after he murdered Murray on live TV (woah!!!) instead of killing himself, because Murray dared call him "Arthur" and argue with him. (No way could this have happened today, because security checks are far tighter because psychos like Joker exist.) What all truly happened, and what was in his head? Because Sophie was an illusion, other things might've been too, much like Bateman in American Psycho. Only, unlike that one, this didn't end with a grinding halt. It ended with a "To Be Continued..." and a lot of anarchy in the streets. It was all for that payoff. It worked, but how well? IDK...

This movie really is a crossroads for me. It's probably going to require further interpretation and introspection later, and perhaps a rewatch at a time when I'm less unstable. This was a reminder of that, and it may help me in the end. I do not know. But, as a film, I feel like a 3.5/5 is the right way to go - fascinating character portrayal of the protagonist, but the rest of the cast lacks in the same complexity, and it lacks the "HOLY SHIT" mindfuck the thrillers I truly loved had. It still had a "WOAH" part of the ending (see above) but that was one moment, and not something that left me buzzing. In fact, the introspective shit is what's resonating, and that can either be really good or really bad.

@Zachnorn @Snake5555555555 you each get a new nomination!

Sara certainly is nice to look at. I will give her that. Sucked to see her go first from Ua, though that tribe was a train wreck so...

Guessing someone from Big Brother next, no idea who...

Got back to Ladylake. Took me long enough. This is such a slog. If gaining a couple levels and upgrading some equipment doesn't do the trick, I may just put myself out of my misery and lower the difficulty even though that will make the final boss too easy.

Casablanca (1942)
Directed by: Michael Curtiz
Written by: Julius Epstein, Philip Epstein, Howard Koch, Murray Burnett, Joan Alison
Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains
Previous status: Clips only

"Here's Lookin' At You, Kid."

To say this film is "art" would be an understatement. Seriously, this is easily one of the most revolutionary movies ever made - there's a lot more to it than just a romantic love triangle, because there's ALSO the war triangle on top of that, and even further there's the fact that the film opens as if it's being put into a time capsule - which was certainly possible given how the bad guys could still have won the war in 1942, before Mussolini's execution.

Let's get the negatives out of the way first. These are mostly technical, or related to the film's age. The dramatic music is overused really early in the movie, after which it dissipates in favor of Sam's piano (I'm reading that Sam was actually a drummer, not a pianist) - a good thing, if you ask me. There's the incomprehensible wailing from the bar singer later on, and I attribute that to poor song recording that's not easily remasterable. And I still don't know what the hell Ilsa's hat in the bazaar scene was - it was like an upside-down bowl on her head, and as B8's "resident hat fetish guy" I have to mention it (her hat at the airport scene was MUCH more flattering). All of these nitpicks are the only things that come to mind, and are really only issues because of the age of the movie. It dates this, but it's honestly a good thing that it does, because this makes it clear that this actually happened during the war itself. It's very minimal how any of this impacts my enjoyment.

But OH MY GOSH this was great for a movie older than my parents. Like... seriously. The characters were fantastically written and acted - Humphrey Bogart was very convincing as Rick when he was plastered, all while still being understandable. Rick got drunk quickly since he hadn't been drinking for a while, until his old flame showed up. Prioritizing the nightclub was his business, but he wasn't afraid to commit fraud to help people in need out, such as the Bulgarian 19 y/o who needed to flee with her husband getting money through a rigged roulette wheel. Yes, he had a cynical, snarky exterior, but that was because Ilsa had left him. This makes him a complex character alone, and her return caused all the feels to come back, and he was blatantly a damaged man. This kind of felt like a thriller, in a way, because of how his games all built up to the ending, which I'll get to soon.

Ilsa was also very complex, caught in the middle of a love triangle she never intended to get into. She had thought her husband, Lazlow (Henreid), had been killed when escaping the Nazis, but he'd in fact survived and that was just fascist bullshit spread to incite fear. So while she was banging Rick, her husband was getting away, and she felt the need to start anew and didn't want Rick to know of her history. Don't blame her. When she found out that Lazlow was alive and coming back, she left Rick a Dear John letter as he was fleeing Paris to wait for Lazlow's return, which was delivered in the rain, smudging - beautiful symbolism, if you ask me. He didn't know any of it until she came back into his life. Lazlow figured it out pretty quickly, that there was a connection between the two. Also worth noting: This movie may be in black and white (which really helps with the tone and the time), but DAMN, Ingrid Bergman is gorgeous. Look at that face!

Captain Renault (Rains) was a weasel, sure, playing both sides and trying to preserve himself. He was sympathetic to the French cause, as a holdover from the pre-Vichy days. He was making deals with both Rick and the bad guys, and got roped into things he didn't want to do, like shutting the club down after Mr. Bad Guy Major Strasser told him to (simply because the French national anthem drowned out the Germans').

The Nazis in this movie are absolutely horrific people, talking about how they're going to take over the world, and what it'd be like when they invade NYC. They tell Lazlow "What an honor it would be to serve the Third Reich" - the same people who'd imprisoned him! Like WTF, are you mad? They act like everyone should respect their national anthem when they don't respect anybody else's. To get respect, you gotta give respect. They're just horrendous, and I presume this is how they actually behaved. Which is why they make for good villains in a movie. Always have, always will. Fuck the Nazis.

The last act of the movie is absolutely thrilling. To get the travel papers that will let her get to America, Ilsa brings a gun to threaten Rick with, and he calls her bluff. She can't do it, and they reconnect... romantically, if just for one night. She tells him everything, but her husband shows up and Rick has her escorted away. Lazlow tells him he's trying to escape from himself, knowing what's going on. Rick devises a scheme to get everybody what they want - he tells Renault that he can set up Lazlow's arrest with the documents, then Rick and Ilsa can head to NYC via Lisbon. Knowing that Renault probably blabbed to Strasser since he was being watched, Rick pulls a gun on Renault and forces his aid. Renault calls the airport and Strasser eavesdrops. Rick helps Ilsa leave with Lazlow, saying she'd regret it if she stayed with him.

For whatever reason, Strasser drives up alone, acting all cocky. And guess what? THE BAD GUY ACTUALLY DIES! Rick shoots Strasser as he makes a phone call and produces his own gun, because unlike Ilsa trying to force Rick to pass the papers, he has the cajones to do it. That, and, well, Ilsa would never kill Rick, and Rick absolutely would kill a bad guy. Strasser was a piece of shit. He got what he deserved.

Really, this is a cinematic masterpiece, one that doesn't tie itself to any one genre, one carried by good characters that are well-acted and memorable storylines. 5/5, Gold, nothing else would suffice.

I'll let my friends know my thoughts tomorrow, since it's getting late. (I texted them that I was watching)

Tried to fight the final boss, but unfortunately the second form doesn't seem possible on my current difficulty without grinding a few levels. Great. Just great. Plan is to fight my way back to Ladylake, stay at the inn and upgrade weapons and such, then warp back. I'm not going to just lower the difficulty on the final boss. I'm not cheap, because that would be a hollow victory (and an easy one, since difficulty imbalance is one of this game's numerous flaws).

Made it to The Staircase.

Zaveid seems to think he's dying here. Something with Siegfried, same as Dezel. He's trying to hit on the ladies again since he wants to die happy, but Edna is still calling him a moron (even whacking him with her parasol when he asks Rose if she'd be his vessel).

I hope I can finally put this piece of work behind me. This game has been a slog to get through. And next time (Arise), I'm just going to play on normal difficulty so I don't take ages. But I have a few games to play before that one...

Ratatouille (2007)
Directed by: Brad Bird
Written by: Jan Pinkava, Brad Bird, Jim Capobianco
Starring: Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano, Ian Holm, Janeane Garofalo, Peter O'Toole, Brian Dennehy
Previous status: Saw ages ago

"A great artist can come from anywhere."

When the quote is something like that, you know I really enjoyed it. Because this was art, plain and simple. I'm sure you'll like that, @MetalmindStats (I've moved this nomination of yours to Wall-E per your earlier request).

First, let's talk about the animation. Some of the settings looked so realistic that it was hard to tell that they were CGI (the models, of course, looked nothing close to realistic, but that's an artistic choice). This is particularly evident in the cottage interior when the old lady is shooting at Remy and Emile with her gunbrella, and the ceiling cracks, as well as the Paris skyline. It's pretty remarkable since just six years earlier, with Monsters Inc. having settings that looked good, but still computer-generated.

Next, the characters are pretty standard fare, but that works for what this is. Remy, the rat protagonist, is a mad scientist chef as indicated by the scene where he utilizes lightning to cook. This is furthered by how he treats his stew as an experiment, but I don't understand how that produced such a good taste since so many ingredients (including everything that was already in there) makes the taste more convoluted. The more complicated the recipe, the harder it is to discern what you're tasting. I think the goal was chaotic animation, for whatever reason. This was unneeded due to the chaos that happened right before it just getting to the pot, and made it hard to believe that nobody noticed.

Linguini is a believable nerdy character who gets roped into something and has no idea how to act when under pressure, on account of tensing up in those situations (likely from being treated poorly or ignored). He also does amusing things like put Remy in his jewel case (here I thought hidden immunity idols in there were gross enough), followed by punching himself in the head a la Jack from Fight Club. Colette exists as a love interest, but a talented cook nonetheless and someone who quickly establishes that you do NOT make her angry. She also was put in here due to the sincere lack of female characters, since she's really the ONLY who has actual lines that aren't idle background chatter - namely to call out the misogyny in fancy restaurants, and I think she helped push the envelope in making things more inclusive. It's like Gusteau's motto: "Anyone can cook." And also like he said, "Your only limit is your soul." You can do what you put your mind to. I need to cook more - I'm not bad at it, and can get better.

One thing I particularly liked was that there was a hell of a lot of conflict here, even before Skinner was established as the villain. There was the Remy/Django conflict, with Remy wanting to be a chef, to push the envelope for rats, to be accepted while Django just wanted to steal to adjust his expectations to what the rest of the worlds sees. This is really the only commentary in the movie, which otherwise focuses on enjoyment. There's the Linguini/Skinner conflict, which is shades of Bob Parr's awful manager in The Incredibles with a boss man with a serious Napoleon Complex and a stubborn streak. There's the Anton Ego/restaurant conflict, just knowing that he'll be back. There's Linguini/Colette's budding romance, which isn't exactly stable at first (and the first kiss is hilarious). Then Skinner tries to use truth serum to pump Linguini for info but all he gets is "Rat Patooty." And that's pretty much how it ends up for him the entire story. Deservedly so, for illegally trying to hide the will so Linguini can't get the restaurant that he was supposed to inherit from his father Gusteau (seeing as the mitochondrial DNA matched). It's particularly nice when Remy takes that will to Linguini to claim his birthright and Skinner ends up swimming in the Seine after crashing his moped.

Linguini passes out drunk but this gets him laid, since Remy's basically using a video game controller for rats: Linguini's hair, and he's disguised by the toque. This produces most of the movie's funny moments, such as the ragdolling - this is far less hilarious than Monsters Inc. but it's still every bit as much of lighthearted fun since it's such a positive movie, meant to tell people that yes, you can do it, no matter what you were born as. Even in a snobby city like Paris, you can (Paris is the only part of France I've been to, and I didn't particularly like it - but the rest of France has a different reputation - I'm hoping to go to Monaco [yes that's an independent city-state], Lyon, Nice, and Strasbourg someday).

The climax is chaos again. After Linguini reveals Remy as the true chef, the staff all quits save for Colette, who comes back upon realizing that she's defiling her teacher's motto (helmetless on her moped, mind you). I didn't realize she didn't know who "Little Chef" was by that point, seeing as she and Linguini had been bangin' and she indicated that knowledge at the press conference (possibly a veiled penis joke). The rats taking over the kitchen is hilarious, but they tie the health inspector up so they don't get shut down immediately. Skinner comes in and gets tied up too (hilariously) as Remy prepares the titular Ratatouille for Anton Ego, whose dark exterior just shatters when he takes one bite and feels like a kid again, eating his mother's cooking after a bad day. This reminiscence gets me to recall watching this very movie on this very DVD with my own mother 12 years ago - this allegory was not lost on me. Though Gusteau's is closed down for the rat infestation, Linguini, Colette, and Remy open up a new restaurant where the rats can live upstairs, and Anton Ego can happily retire from being a pompous food critic and relax. A rat made him a better person, and he's the only one aware of what the "unexpected source" was.

This was a really good movie, all things considered. It's the right mix of funny, drama, conflict, artistry (the song is nice too), messaging, and heart. It's a clear 5/5 for me. This is why Pixar had a monstrous reputation back in the day (Cars aside, practically everything they made was phenomenal for 15 years or so!). I don't feel bad giving this a gold, because it's the heartwarming kind of thing I needed, just like Fight Club was the kick in the ass to go alongside it.

Next one will probably be tomorrow, but I gotta play some Zesty first to finish that.

Maniac64 posted...

I don't think I've used noms yet so let's put in The Usual Suspects

I don't own that one, but it looks like you can watch it on Amazon Prime, so if anyone else wants to second this, I will add it! (IIRC, I saw it at PrePlayed but decided against it because of a certain dickwad starring in it).

Will be back in a little to recap the one I'm about to watch...

Fight Club (1999)
Directed by: David Fincher
Written by: Chuck Palahniuk; adapted by Jim Uhls
Starring: Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf
Previous status: May have seen back in 2008, but IDK

"The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club."

I'll be breaking that rule right now, thank you very much.

What. A. Ride. Like seriously. I went from feelings of ambivalence, to loving it, to having no idea what the fuck I was watching, to loving it again, to STILL processing all this. Like what the hell was that twist? Like... FOR REAL?

tbh, I should've seen it coming when he beat himself up in his boss's office, playing mind games with mind control games, but I so did not see that coming. Dissociative identity disorder as a twist for a thriller's central psychopath, when ALL evidence until that point says otherwise, is just NUTS. Like... how did Tyler know about Jack, yet Jack didn't know about Tyler? I get that Jack was meant to be an unreliable narrator - that was established quickly with the time-skips, the cold open (which was easy to forget about fast), and him changing identities for each support group he went to. Cornelius be damned.

The honest truth of the matter is that this is what American Psycho was trying to be; from a film standpoint, it was based on a book much more adaptable into a movie, a movie that did not lose its identity with the loss of a first-person perspective. I think it's because Fight Club actually still has that narration, whereas American Psycho often carries it through conversation. Both movies have societal commentary, each about a different decade, but this one does it better, showing that being free from consumerism doesn't make you free in general - in fact, the guys who broke from it were instead enslaved to a different cause, a criminal one at that. By being zombies to vandalism, they're bound just the same as working for "the man" with the main difference being that office work is more disguised in its corruption instead of openly so.

My initial reaction to the shirtless guys was... not ideal, honestly. I'm not gay. I like looking at beautiful women, and often turn the other way when a shirtless dude comes out of a locker room shower. This is that kind of thing, but it quickly started to click as I recognized that the club itself was a way for Jack to fight his insomnia, to give him a sense of purpose, a way to release his emotions similarly to crying about guys who were castrated because of cancer. In fact....
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/1/6/AAR0ZFAAD76I.jpg

Yup, it got me to realize I could be taking out aggression by punching something, instead of ventilating it through my mouth, instead of crying about things like being alone. This, however, is a material good I am examining, which feels contradictory to the point the movie is making about what I will refer to as, to reference Brad Pitt's completely different yet still just-as-brilliant performance from Burn After Reading, "shit." Pitt's Tyler says "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." and he's certainly correct about that, but we're only free to do anything because we've lost everything. We can still put our minds forward to do things while still having shit, like Jack does with quitting his job and utilizing a severance package for the betterment of Fight Club. I don't work right now, and I don't feel free. I feel bored, because I lack the money to do stuff, and am thus frugal. But it's the point about trying to be in control, and to just let go, that makes sense to me. I have too much anger and depression pent up inside me. I need to let it all out. I need to stop trying to control the things I can't. Not gonna resort to Project Mayhem, though, as that'll land me in jail. The cops won't be in on it like they were here.

But right now I am still buzzing about what was real, and what wasn't. Did Jack/Tyler actually go without sleep? How did he manage to be in two places at once? How did he start a club by beating himself up? How did Meat Loaf's Bob Paulsen not recognize "Cornelius" as Tyler? Why did Tyler blow up what was essentially his own condo (a twist I 100% saw coming pretty quickly)? How were the two selves able to communicate if they were the same person? How did Jack get in control of the gun from Tyler? How did the gun kill Tyler but not Jack? How insane was this guy? Like seriously. I have a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and his two selves are aware of each other, and it feels like he's eerily able to change at will.

That mindfuck brilliance aside (I really oughta read the book; the only Palahniuk I've read is Snuff, which was back in college right after it came out... yes they made me read a porn book in my Cont Lit class), there are a lot of little details here, like the breath in "The Cave" and all the dark effects to make the movie reflect its tone. Lots of nice special effects, and funny little details like Jack's head hitting the ticket button in the parking garage fight. And soap made from human fat sold to humans to use on their skin, which was a hilarious point about material goods. You really don't have to spend $30 for a bar of soap if you can get one for $3 that does its job.

Really, this was a fun watch. I enjoyed the hell out of this ride, and am still stunned by that plot twist. I also like how it wasn't right at the end of the film, and there was time for it to unravel. And I really found myself identifying with Jack quite a bit (though not always). I really can't give this anything but a 5/5, and, even if there were bits I hated, make it gold. I'll be coming back to this. Though IDK about reading the book if I know the twist.

@Snake5555555555 @junk_funk you each get a new nomination!

Next one should be Thursday. Not sure what yet.

Took out Rose, though had to use an All-Divide (Rose did not use her Mystic Arte). Dark Toitolez is still too much, though, but I did get him under half HP before he started using stronger attacks.

No real comments. Just fluff after the Rose fight, but she did learn a new Mystic Arte that's pretty cool! Will try that elusive fight again after clearing a path to Heldalf. Should get another two levels and some additional equipment drops by then (I already got some in the forest on my way back - the obscene cost of fast travel has made me use it only one way).

Robazoid posted...

I mostly nominated it because Max from the video game Life is Strange thinks its one of the best sci-fi films ever made

Yup, she's got a valid opinion there, from the technical viewpoint of how it's gorgeous and engaging to watch. Life Is Strange is awesome too, of course. Well... the first one and its prequel, anyway. Haven't played True Colors yet, but LIS2 sucked.

It really was a technical marvel when it came out, and one bit of the ending managed to stick with me all these years when the main guy says he finally believes, right before sacrificing himself. It wasn't super amazing or anything, but I think it gets too much flak just because people blame it for killing the old Square.

That was the best part of the ending. Can see why it stuck with you! And you're probably right that it gets flak because it flopped and took parts of Square down with it, and those people weren't fond of the Square/Enix merger. This doesn't change that it's a technical marvel and I really think it should've 100% been the visual baseline for sci-fi movies until Avatar came out. I can't think of anything else that compares from a visual/technical standpoint. But sadly, since this one failed financially... (I'm surprised nobody else gave this model a chance for a non-Final Fantasy movie tbh). Thanks for nominating it btw!

I do plan on watching one more tomorrow (today now, technically). Wanna try to get 5 in this week, as well as finishing Zestiria so that project can be done with. Which means I should be able to watch more regularly too since I won't be recapping any game-playing.

"Comedy-thriller" is a pretty apt description. It builds up just like a thriller, but it's all for laughs. Not really a kind of movie you see very much.

And now, on a completely different note...

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
Directed by: Hironobu Sakaguchi
Written by: Hironobu Sakaguchi, Al Reinert, Jeff Vintar
Starring: Ming-Na Wen, Alec Baldwin, James Woods, Donald Sutherland, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames
Previous status: Never seen

"I thought we weren't supposed to say the S-word."

No, not shit. "Spirits." Because JRPG. This really feels like a JRPG in movie form, highly condensed to fit the two-hour runtime. Which means the story isn't as rich and deep as it would've been as a game. Really, the writing here was nothing special, but the movie compensates for it by being a technical marvel - ESPECIALLY for 2001 (like wtf, this was when the PS2 was new, for fuck's sake!) - and having the good world-building you expect from a Final Fantasy game. That's really the gist of it. You don't need to read on from here if you don't care.

The world-building is basically the Phantoms have inhabited the Earth (odd that a JRPG-based story is actually set in OUR world) and rendered it uninhabitable for humans, because they eat human's spirits upon contact. The Phantoms are aliens who are lost souls, mistaken for attackers - but they'd inadvertently been jettisoned from the destruction of their own planet, landing on Earth with a huge impact, killing them all. Protagonist Dr. Aki Ross (Wen) is determined to send them to the Farplane by gathering eight spirits alongside her mentor, this Final Fantasy's Cid (Sutherland). It sounds like standard JRPG stuff, which it is, but it's GOOD JRPG stuff.

The plot has a stereotypical megalomaniac villain bent on destroying the world, an inhumane traitor, a standard trigger-happy military baddie named General Hein (Woods). It's incredibly one-dimensional - stupid, stubborn, and unrelenting, stepping on anyone who gets in its way. Its comeuppance isn't as satisfying as it could've been, largely because it got its way and almost actually destroyed the planet (though thinking it was being a hero), then simply blew up with its beloved cannon. No boss fight with the bastard, even though he destroyed the city by allowing the Phantoms in for no reason. He wanted to prove a point, but he ended up proving a completely different one instead. Whoops! I do hope that Aki set the record straight and made it clear that he was the one who almost caused the planet to blow up while the Council was on it. Why Keith David was okay with letting him fire that cannon is beyond me.

You also can't not mention how many JRPG cliches are in here. A romance between the two leads, Aki and Grey (Baldwin). They sure argue like a couple! "Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality" stuff. Sacrifice (honestly, it would've hit me harder if Ryan, Jane, and Neil had a little more story to them). Evil wins, then suddenly doesn't. The plot necessitating a necessity that was in fact only necessary because it was necessary (Grey sacrificing himself to the spirits to send all the aliens). You all have played JRPGs before. You know what I mean. These are used because they actually work... well, some of them. The "...and then a miracle occurs..." part I could've done without. I did mistakenly conclude that Aki was gonna die in the Tucson sequence. Was surprised that it wasn't her giving herself up.

So the story's nothing special. The characters really aren't either. But, back to the good, the character design is absurdly detailed, and it's incredible how this actually came together - it's just that it was a wee bit too expensive for what it was, and this caused it to lose significant money at the box office, which thus made it so this is a standalone. Dr. Aki Ross was supposed to appear in more movies - at least the character model was, and trust me, she looks real. The other characters are less remarkable, save for Hein, but the animation and environments make up for it. It's true cinematic marvel that so happens to have words and some semblance of a story, and that's really the best way to sum this up. I can't give this anything but a 3/5 for that reason - there's nothing story-wise to make me itch to come back, but if I wanna watch some cinema porn, this one is definitely an option.

@Robazoid @Mobilezoid not sure which account I should be tagging here, but I thought I would. If you wanna nominate something else, feel free!

Time to go into overdrive to make it up to you guys. Plan was to watch two shorter movies tonight

Burn After Reading (2008)
Written & Directed by: Joel & Ethan Coen
Starring: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton
Previous status: Never seen

"I thought... you might be worried... about the security... of your shit."

It has been a long time since I laughed like that. That one line was so perfectly delivered and equally perfectly staged. This not only shows the Coen Brothers' genius (this is the third of theirs I've seen, after True Grit and Big Lebowski) but also how good Brad Pitt was in this role, the dumb jock who only ever wears his personal trainer uniform (unclear why that's a polo, but still). Really, everyone was great - and they felt typecast. And that's because they were. The Coens wrote these roles for their stars, and it shows. George Clooney womanizing the middle-aged feels very apropos given how many ladies that age love the guy.

The first thing I must note is that the movie drops us RIGHT into things. We first get to see Ozzy Cox (Malkovich) getting demoted, which leads him to quit his job as an intelligence analyst. And later, Frances' McDormand's character Linda is getting examined for plastic surgery (why she'd need that, I do not know), and that's our intro package for her. You have to watch closely to understand who's who at first but it works fine in the end, when things come together nicely. This may have just been 90 minutes, but it was a GOOD 90 minutes. So many moving parts of what can feel like a conspiracy to most of these dimwits just interlock perfectly to make a beautiful mess.

Ozzy's wife, Katie (Swinton), is both a doctor and a criminal; wanting divorce from Ozzy to be with Harry (Clooney), who's also seeing at least three other women, including his wife, who's ALSO cheating on him, who... you get the point. Because she sucks, Katie changes the locks so Ozzy can't get his stuff and empties his bank account under the logic that "it's her money, too." When it was HIS account, and she stole from him. Why a doctor would need to become a thief, I do not know. Sadly, she never gets her comeuppance - really, the only thing is Harry leaving her because she's such a Karen. I really liked how he called her ass out - she deserves to be alone.

The best part after the "security of your shit" phone call (my goodness, that was AMAZING) was probably Chad (Pitt) breaking in to the Cox house to spy music, thinking he could steal more files even though what he has hasn't amounted to much. Chad and Linda had tried to fence the DVD-R with Cox's memoir on it, thinking it was "serious intelligence shit," to the Russians, because you know darn well that Vlad would LOVE to get involved in this. Other characters are confused but I am not, but this was 2008. This was before Vlad started nosing his way into our elections (FUCK VLAD!). Still, there's a CIA spy who redirects the DVD, even though it doesn't have anything of value to the government on it. It's just a memoir and financial records of Ozzy and Katie, which Katie is using to embezzle because, again, she sucks. Katie is a crafty crook, mind you, and she's running circles around the idiots surrounding her. I presume this is indicative that to get ahead, you gotta get dirty.

But with the break-in, Ocean's 11 this is not: Both Chad and Harry are idiots (in the "League of Morons" as Ozzy put it), and because for whatever asinine reason he chose to go upstairs and hide in the closet (when knew that Harry was wearing exercise clothes when he'd left), Chad ends up getting shot with Harry's finger and Harry's subsequent freak-out was amazing. Even though he's the one who killed the intruder, he's paranoid and freaking out (despite being a U.S. Marshal) and presuming he's being spied on (he really only is by a grunt working for his wife's divorce attorney). It all unravels when he learns that Linda, whom he's also fucking, was Chad's associate, and there's MORE spy-shit freakouts. There's also Ozzy killing the gym manager, Ted, with an axe for burglarizing his home, and the CIA spy murdering Ozzy for no reason thereafter. Like... hello? Clearly he's chasing out an intruder.

Really, this movie had a lot for just an hour and a half, with old people fucking (okay, late 40s, but still), money-grubbers, a brief car chase and a brief foot chase, dildo chairs (the fuck is the point of that?), conspiracies like it's a thriller... honestly, what genre is this? It has comedy. It has relationship drama. It has political commentary (kinda). It has interlocking pieces. It's really trapped in a zone that's not bound to any genre. The movie is enjoyable for that at times, but confusing at others. With it being difficult to place, there lacks a basis for comparison; it stands out as unique at the same time it's hard to discern if you're supposed to take anything from it. But it's enjoyable while it lasts, so for that, I'll give it a 4/5.

@BetrayedTangy @Snake5555555555 you each get another nomination! Keep the good ones coming!

And now, I'm gonna go watch another one. Hence the less detailed write-up. See yas soon!

Could be Omar for similar reasons to Hai. Could be... was it Chaddah who finished 6th or Tiffany? Definitely isn't Danny (that would be criminal). Could be someone with whom I'm less familiar, or just forgetting about.

These recent seasons are dumbed down to a point that they're unmemorable, probably to cater to the casual Ozzy worshiping stangirls.

I have played a little here and there, but this final dungeon is LONG. So no updates aside from that!

Should get an hour in this morning. That's about all the time I will have today. I have movies to catch up on too.

Edit: Oh yeah, forgot I didn't say that it should be incredibly obvious that Heldalf is fused with Velvet/Innominat, not Maotelus.

I was gonna but the day went longer than I thought and then I realized there was a volleyball match at night (we won the conference title!). Then there was another of those tonight....

Yeah, I know I'm making too many excuses. I'm gonna buck the Packer game tomorrow night since we're gonna lose and maybe try to watch two movies. I AM SORRY FOR ALL THIS!

Tonight. Been sick since coming back from the con. Finally feeling well enough to watch and understand a movie.

Gonna just give this a bump right now. I intend to play tomorrow. Anime con and all that.

FYI:
I am watching the Packer game tonight. Unless the Titans crush us, I won't be watching a movie.

I also have an anime con tomorrow through Sunday so I won't be getting any movies in until at least Monday. This applies to Zestiria as well.

Many apologies for not being as active in this as I would've liked. This last week has been weird.

red_sox_777 posted...

Also, Russia spent about a month "warning" the world that Ukraine was preparing to drop a nuclear weapon on themselves. They apparently believe we're really really dumb.

Like most communist dictatorships, Russia believes they are better than everyone else and thus can get away with anything. Do they honestly believe anyone is still buying their shit? Because by denying this misfire was their fault, they're making it look intentional as an act of desperation. If they pull this crap again, it wouldn't surprise me to see NATO get involved more directly. It's Russia that's desperate, not Ukraine, and if that desperation poses a risk to global security...

Just played an hour and have nothing to report. Killed another sub-boss monster (this game's equivalent to the beasts who unlocked Mystic Artes in Berseria, but instead they drop a useless weapon whose stats can't be improved, and thus serves no purpose even though it can be fused with anything) and saw a room with the crest of Innominat, which Sorry and Mikleo were unfamiliar with. Lailah knew, as of course did Zaveid and Edna. They didn't tell the full story, but it's too late in the game for a plot twist. Not that this game has had many of those.

I'm just ready to be done with this. But this version of the Throne is a maze and I have to figure out where I'm going. I also have an hour of equipment management to do, which is thankfully a much less common occurrence than in Berseria. I've let it go too long and now I have too much crap.

FigureOfSpeech posted...

a few quick questions. I can see from the spreadsheet what's been covered. Can't tell for sure what has been nominated yet and what hasn't, so looking for clarifications before I make my 5 (mostly to avoid redundancies, both direct and in case of genres/styles heavily nominated and queued already, would rather steer against those to nominate more variety :D)

Users who nominated are off of the right edge, after the rating column. Some users have done so privately. Nothing has more than two nominations, but I will pick anything with at least one.

Apologies for my recent lack of activity. Been going through shit and my dad's been in town so that's made things a little harder - I usually can't get started on stuff until 9 pm, so I just play Zestiria for an hour for that project, which is close to its conclusion.

The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Directed by: Mark Dindal
Written by: Chris Williams, Roger Allers, Matthew Jacobs, Mark Dindal, David Reynolds
Starring: David Spade, John Goodman, Eartha Kitt, Patrick Warburton
Previous status: Never seen

"Squeak squeakity squeak squeak"

This movie came out when I was reaching "that age." I was 12 y/o, sure, but I'd just been exposed to James Bond movies and that transformed my interests. This coincided with the end of the"Disney Renaissance - which this movie is considered "after" probably because of Dinosaur (I forgot that existed) preceding it. This was released as Disney was falling into a rut; AFAIK, only Lilo & Stitch during the eight-movie span after Fantasia 2000 is considered better? Maybe?

Going in, I know this movie adapts "The Emperor's New Clothes" into something goofy; we're talking llama instead of a nudist emperor. Clearly, with llamas and a name like Kuzco, this in Peru. The Disney silliness is at its best with its ridiculous opening - after the mopey rain bit - that feels like it's attempting to be "Prince Ali" meets "Be Our Guest." It's nowhere near as catchy as those, even though the animation is stunning. Despite the huge names on the soundtrack - Sting, Tom Jones, Eartha Kitt, and a young Rascal Flatts - the songs lack the same memorability as the Broadway-focused Renaissance era. This is because of the development hell this movie went through, causing Sting's penned songs to be dissociated from the project. The lack of the villain anthem was quite damaging.

Kuzco shows himself to be a dick by insulting several women chosen as potential brides for him. He terminates his advisor Yzma for no reason. He asks Pacha (who sounds exactly like Sulley, because that's the "John Goodman Disney voice" apparently) for assistance... only to unwittingly be told his village is going to be destroyed for Kuzco's summer resort. He's a judgmental prick, and I'm quickly awaiting his humbling. I am rooting for Yzma at this point, as Kuzco feels like he's the villain. Yzma and Kronk, her henchman, get this entrance like spy movie scientists. Ridiculous and humorous, particularly the part where there's a trap door lever for no reason.

Yzma's plan to murder Kuzco gets him turned into a llama, which is worse if you think about it: Kuzco has to live his life as a llama, on the outside looking in to how he used to live, ruing that he's a piece of shit. His reaction to being llamafied is pure schadenfreude, especially since Llama Kuzco proves he's still an ass. Okay, llamas and asses are different, but he's still an ass. The panthers nearly eating him for breakfast is foiled by Pacha imitating Tarzan for no reason, in a GREAT Disney cross-reference. Pacha questions his actions when Kuzco insists on building his stupid resort in place of Pacha's village, but Pacha handles it well by giving him an ultimatum. Yzma takes over the kingdom and nobody really feels sad about Kuzco's passing. I don't feel bad for him. Not at all. I do feel bad for Pacha taking a beating as a result of Kuzco being awful.

It's funny when Kronk talks to the squirrel, because that's cheeky and unexpected. It's not funny when Yzma is running from the locusts in the background, because that's been done a thousand times, another thousand if you count every bad guy in a mask on Scooby-Doo. It's funny when Llama Kuzco dresses as Pacha's wife. It's funny when Yzma shows up at the table next to Pacha, in the ironic sense. It's funny when the chef quits on Kronk of all people and Kronk just takes over, and the revolving door where Kronk is too daft to notice is great, particularly how they don't realize they're next to each other. It's not funny how Kuzco wants to go to his death, only to quickly overhear that Yzma poisoned him, as that's too convenient. I don't know if that was meant to be funny but Kuzco sucks, and he deserves the moping in the rain. He's a total Aaron who literally says "bUt It'S aLl AbOuT mE!!!!1!!" His reactions are funnier than anything that happens to him, really.

Having unexpected company, Mrs. Pacha and the kids clearly see through Yzma's bullshit. The Mrs. sees her husband in the window telling her that Yzma is his enemy, so the family springs a booby trap upon Yzma. This is amusing, but remind me why I'm supposed to enjoy her suffering... because Kuzco is her enemy? I don't follow. The intentional plot hole of Yzma returning to the palace first wasn't overly funny (a joke without a punchline), but boy did I like it, because I find myself to be unsympathetic to Kuzco. He's not a very complex anti-hero - he's someone abhorrent that I'm rooting to lose. The amount of payoff in this climax in the lab - how Kuzco knew about it is beyond me - is great. The lever, the lab coats, the Kronk angel and devil, the potions, the cliff-walking... this was great. I'm a fan of that payoff, as you guys know by now. I'm not a fan of some other things, namely Pacha going from 60 potions to 5 for no reason, the lack of urgency, or the repetition of Yzma taking the potion, it falling to a ledge, and then A MIRACLE OCCURS. The satire became a little too much, but I LOVED the trampoline, given how the Renaissance movies had numerous villains who fell to their deaths.

Kuzco develops a sense of humor, and makes amends for his prior misdeeds, acting as if he's a completely changed man. He shows this by wanting to build his Kuzcotopia elsewhere... apparently? I don't buy that he's changed, though he seems to be living a more humble life in his summers, in a way that shows like Undercover Boss want to make us believe changes people. It doesn't.

Reading up on the development hell, I note how this movie is in an identity crisis, much like Disney itself at the time. They wanted the 00s to "not be like the 90s" - forgetting IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT! The reason the Renaissance was so great was because there were these magical singalong songs with equally beautiful animations to accompany them, making for an engaging product infinitely rewatchable by elementary schoolers. This is not that. This is filled with the slapstick gags that were often relegated to one or two sequences in those superior Disney outings, but lacks the same soul. It's a simple movie that suffers from a lack of rewatchability; if you've seen the gags and know what happens, there's no reason to revisit.

For this reason - and how I found myself rooting against Kuzco - I can't say I LOVED this movie. There were gags I laughed at and the payoffs were enjoyable, but it's not overly memorable. The hugely downgraded soundtrack didn't serve this movie well, though Sting had the ending changed because Kuzco was originally going to just build Kuzcotopia on another hill. If that had stayed, I'd have hated it, because it would've justified my dislike of Kuzco. If you're rooting for the villain, the movie didn't do something right. In this case, it's that they made the supposed hero the least likable character. Pacha is fine and I feel for the guy getting caught up in this, but he kept trusting Kuzco for no reason. Yzma wanted to dispose of the jerk of an Emperor for the good of everyone, and I can't for the life of me understand why I was supposed to root for him over her. I'll give this one a 3 because it was still fun, but it's not as remarkable as other Disney ventures. Still glad I watched it, but it's "a funny little thing I watched once" instead of a cinematic marvel.

@Johnbobb @hylianknight3 you each get a new nomination!

Just trying to finish things up as much as I can. It's not going that fast. The monsters here are tough, including sub-bosses and the like.

Symone was pretty weak and Sorry just left her there crying for whatever reason, instead of finishing the job. Not totally sure why. She was spouting bullshit and I was just yadda-yadda-yaddaing that corny dialogue. None of it made sense since it all felt forced, so I just blew it off and promptly forgot.

I eventually get to the Empyrean's Throne - now branded with Artorius's name, since this was his folly - and it's now suspended over a huge pool of malevolence. The ground near the entrance is gone. This doesn't even feel like the same place! I presume this was the doing of sealing Innominat and giving Maotelus the power instead, plus the other Empyreans shifting the land and such. All this said, the monsters are still strong and the place is still sprawling, and the paths still feel the same even though they're suspended in the air.

I didn't get very far in the Throne but that's for another time. I did try the two boss fights again and still failed. Welp.

Actually went and watched this one, and certainly will again once it's dubbed.

Holy fuck. That had to be one of the craziest endings they could've come up with. I LOVED how it cut to Pikachu waking up, not remembering what he'd done. The IMPACT! THIS is what the last 25 years have been building up to: This one, final defining moment. There is literally nowhere they can go with Ash from here, and the flashbacks to everyone Ash had traveled with, and all his Pokemon... what else could that have meant?

Yeah, it's too low for those clowns. Sure, the edit didn't want us to root for them, because that would have been a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions given how they were technically first out twice, but I still find them to be affable guys who would've been rootable in a season in which they did better. I also find it amusing how they came back only to be eliminated first again. Would've had them probably 20 spots higher, even though I didn't watch the entirety of their season. (Cayla & Raquel are probably my #1 from that bunch)

Guessing someone polarizing like Shan or Drea is next, but I am not totally sure who. Lots of possibilities.

Last night: Played another crucible with Rose and Zaveid. Went into the temple - you know, the one where the game started. It's tough in here but there are only three enemy types... and one coward named Symone. She's throwing illusions at us, including copies of ourselves that fall to Mystic Artes pretty easily.

The first of these illusions might have been real: Mikleo's mother, Muse, was fighting off a bunch of thugs, including one of the Hyland higher-ups (I don't remember who was who and they were such irrelevant characters, save for Maltran, that I never needed to - but this was probably Fartlow) and is the only one left alive. She insists she go fight off Heldalf or something and talks about the kids she left with Zenrus (Gramps, who this temple was built to worship by a people of older times who considered him Zeus) being raised to be... who she's talking to. She doesn't seem to recognize her own child and nephew are 18 years older and right in front of her, and she disappears to die since her staff is left behind, which Mikleo can equip even though it's weaker than most of what I have. This was meant to be emotional and it was, but there's nothing to hold onto. It would have been better to explain how she was still alive, because that just came out of nowhere, hence why I immediately presumed this was one of those illusions conjured by Symone even though this was before the game told me she was there. It would have been better had Muse been in a role like that of Mayvin (in addition to him) and operating under a different name, only for him to reveal who she really was later. They would add significant emotional impact to this scene and not get me to dismiss it as Symone fucking with us to generate malevolence. This reeks of the fake Aball.

I hit midway and, after a skit that makes absolutely no sense due to the poor dialogue, notice that there are suddenly more sidequests. One is putting a bow on Alisha's story. This guy, a liaison trying to keep the peace - is pushing her around for "assistance" of some kind. Implied sexual. Alisha is too nice to be a strong decision maker, and he calls her out for this. He asks what kind of leader acts like that and isn't at least somewhat of an asshole. He's got a point, really. Alisha might not be cut out for this, and she's still holding onto "a knight's kindness serves the people" even though she doubts Maltran was doing anything other than spouting whatever bullshit sounded good at the time. This is also true - there's nothing more selfless than self-sacrifice for the greater good, so long as it really is the greater good. War is not typically one of those things, unless you're smiting terrorists who don't hesitate to murder civilians en masse.

I leave Ladylake and, after changing a tire on a wagon for somebody, Rose suddenly turns on me and kills me. I'm not joking. This was apparently just a "training session" but I still have to win, and she gained six levels of of nowhere. This is dumb, and not a fun dumb like the Yuri/Flynn "sparring match" from Vesperia. I try the Toitolez fight instead and though I don't need the All-Divide right away, he still slaughters me. I'll need to go kill Symone and gain a few more levels (including for equipment) before I have any hope in either fight.

Yeah, Abraham was a pretty whatever first boot despite his arrogance reigning over the tribe. The "shut up, I'm in charge here" alpha male jerk had been done much better in the past.

Jackson really was sketchy with the whole lithium thing. Deliberately withholding that information until the alternates left was a dick move, even for someone who seems like such a nice guy.

Guessing Jackson's tribemate Morya next, because she was pretty forgettable in her two episodes. I don't know who else it could be but I haven't watched Tough As Nails yet.

I had a meltdown earlier today. I am thankful that I did not have to choose a movie to fit my mood. It's like I said about these fixed-date movies: I like it when the choice has been made for me. And that helped me feel better.

V for Vendetta (2006)
Directed by: James McTeigue
Written by: The Wachowskis, David Lloyd, [recanted]
Starring: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea, John Hurt
Previous status: Saw 2019ish

"No more tricks, no more lies, only the truth."

This is one of the few movies on THE LIST I already "caught up" with seeing, and I remember it pretty well. Some Matrix action (because Wachowskis), the dystopian near future, Evey's head getting regrettably shaved (Natalie Portman looks better with the long hair, but she's hot regardless), and Evey pulling the lever despite having the detective guy point his gun at her. I tend to remember things well until I haven't seen them for years, but the film is fixed date to today.

It starts out with "Remember, remember, the 5th of November." With V adding "The Gunpowder Treason, the Gunpowder plot, we cannot let the treason be forgot." Or something poetic to that effect. It's awesome. So are all the V-words he uses. So is the flashback to the actual Guy Fawkes being executed for treason for threatening to blow up Parliament (the old building, which didn't explode for another 229 years). And so is how he blows up the Old Bailey set to the 1812 Overture to get everybody to take him seriously. V is awesome.

The movie is set in London after the Nazis have seized power - under the name "Norse Fire" - and have suppressed rights, including free speech, free religion, free sexuality - practically everything the actual Nazis did. They use the press to disseminate fake news that the public continues to question, to the ignorance of the powers that be. This is all fantastically established setting. It's easy to understand what's going on, and it's easy to see that the negative press covfefe is used for fearmongering - much like pretty much ANY real-world "news outlet" tries to do. Don't just say ONE of them does it - one certain side always tries to paint these things to look like the other side, while the other just denies how bad they are. Not naming which is which. This is VERY clearly commentary on the press feeding lies to the people to protect "government interests" - and boy does that ring true.

Not getting into too many details here, since I've realized just how verbose my recent reviews have gotten (which could be turning people off), but the government created V through abuse, so they deserve what he became. V is a fantastic character and a real brilliant strategist - he'd planned everything to a T, except for the part where a detective held him at gunpoint and it took reinforcements with pepper spray - Evey - to dispatch him. He saved her life, so she saved his in return, and thus he took her in and used her as bait to help assassinate a pedophile bishop who had a certain fondness for teenage girls. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

There's funny shit like Gordon's late night mock interview with "the Fuhrer" (which got him executed, even though it certainly incited the public to agree) and V's execution of that pinhead in the shower. There's scary shit like V replicating what the bad guys had done to his friend Valerie, who was only imprisoned for being a lesbian (geez, why do they care so much who she fucks? Like seriously, so long as she respects others' sexuality, they should respect hers) by shaving Evey's head and torturing her, only to reveal the put-up job that was to numb her to her fears. She's like me. I don't really feel afraid of anything and have simple apathy toward the world. Nobody likes me. Nothing scares me. But nothing gives me joy, either. Even if I did love this movie... again. But I digress. Maybe it's a mask. Maybe I've been so concerned with being fake that I've forgotten who I really am. But I'll leave the deep statements with just that.

The best part is how it all comes together, how everything is a coincidence and how there are so many layers to every little detail - it was a master strategist's web woven. There are little payoff parts like The Count of Monte Cristo (I haven't seen it jsyk), the jukebox ("revolutions" and "dances" being paired sounds like Hamilton, lol) and V's burned hands being revealed to be from Larkhill. There are huge payoff parts like the 1812 Overture being played at both the destruction of the Old Bailey and that of Parliament a year later, and Evey talking to Chief Inspector Finch (who agreed the country needs hope, especially after he uncovered the crimes his comrades had committed) similarly to how V had talked to her the first time. Finch was the one uncovering all the coincidences that just lined up too perfectly. V had manipulated everything to his advantage, outplaying Finch every step of the way until Creedy's men killed him (but not before all of them died first, of course, in that epic fight scene right after herr Fuhrer was executed). V was always a step ahead, erasing every lead Finch could possibly find and brilliantly distracting him. Finch at least saw that V was dead right before Evey gave him a good ol' Viking funeral, putting him on board the train with explosives on it (yes, a "Viking Funeral" can refer to something other than a boat), heading straight for the blocked tunnel under Parliament to go BOOM and take Big Ben with it (RIP).

My only issues with this are quite minor. I am not quite sure how Evey seemed to have access to clothes that fit her at all times in the movie - it doesn't really make sense, but it's a small cosmetic thing that ultimately doesn't matter much. I also think the V/Evey love story could be better conveyed - clearly, he fell in love with her at first sight, because she reminded him of Valerie but was, y'know, straight, and this was affirmed when she took out that detective that had him at gunpoint. This really only percolated toward the end, and felt kind of weird when looking back to all the torture. What was going to happen if she did squeal? How long did that last for? That took up a good portion of the year between the two bombings, but again, that timeline thing is minor - it's left up to imagination, and I believe that was the intent of the Wachowskis. It's not problematic in the slightest, just fuel for thought.

Overall, the message here is to not believe the negative press covfefe, because it's totalitarian and trying to push an agenda - it was just used to a ridiculous extent in the movie, which is what the US is certainly trending toward. Suppression of truth is adjacent to suppression of rights. Morons think they know things, but they really don't. And we need to band together to rise up against the negative press covfefe, against tyranny, against single-party terrorism, and against suppression of rights. This movie rings more true than ever and both the Wachowskis and David Lloyd (and that other guy, who does not want his name associated with this movie in any way) had insane foresight. It rings true, it's fun to watch, and it's a superbly crafted thriller narrative... oh, and Natalie Portman's always amazing to look at (especially the first half of the movie), plus she's a fantastic actress. Hugo Weaving does an excellent job as V, conveying his mystique and intelligence in an interesting way - even though we never really did see him without the mask. Still... 5/5, gold.

This went longer than I intended, whoops! You can tell I liked it a LOT.

@Snake5555555555 you get a new nomination! (Thanks for nominating it so it had to be watched today because of its fixed date)

Surprise! Sometimes something new drops and you just can't wait to watch it. Tonight is one of those nights.

Please note this won't be common as I seldom see movies at release. Also note this will be heavily spoiler tagged - it's too new to have them unlabeled.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)
Directed by: Eric Appel
Written by: Weird Al Yankovic, Eric Appel
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Evan Rachel Wood, Rainn Wilson
Previous status: N/A (?!)

"Let's get weird, boys!"

The first trailer for this movie came out over a decade ago as a joke. People wanted it to be real, and with films like Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocket Man taking unique icons of music and telling their stories in a slightly exaggerated way, it felt like the perfect time to put money into something fully exaggerated about a unique icon of music. Who better for that than Weird Al? Roku wanted to attract attention to their own channel and they've certainly succeeded. My understanding is that this movie starts out as mostly truthful, but becomes more and more a parody of biopics as it goes on.

It opens with Al being revived in a hospital by Lin-Manuel Miranda - not like a surgeon or anything - and then flashes back to Al's life. Starting when he was about 10 y/o and dealing with psychologically abusive parents trying to force a lifestyle upon him, refusing to accept him for who he was. This, of course, got him to rebel more strongly. I'd think this is rooted in reality, but exaggerated. Taking "Amazing Grace" and making it about grape juice at that age... well, it's Weird Al. His parents are cruel, telling him to fall in line and stop being himself outright. A few weeks later, an accordion salesman shows up and Al's dad assaults the guy. After sending the dad for a walk, his mom buys the accordion anyway, so long as Al practices in secret; I think she's afraid of her husband and toes the line. I already doubt what I'd heard is accurate: This reeks of pastiche from the start. That HAD to be exaggerated. A "polka party" in Lynwood, CA getting ambushed by the LAPD is ridiculous enough, and I don't think Al's actual dad was an asshole since Al said his parents' death was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

Did "My Bologna" really come out of spontaneous coincidence? Public bathroom recording studios... too shitty to be real. The same-day mega-hit thing... the subtle hilarity Al's known for. Al himself - the REAL Al - is a record suit who is quite the hardass, and his character's brother is an asshole who lays into Al, the way young Al probably felt. Al's character then gives the character Al some advice, leading to character Al's bar performance (after the goth punk band who rejected him got literally murdered) where his roommates abruptly start performing with him. Because of the bologna's first name, I had a feeling they were meant to be Steve Jay, Bermuda Schwartz, and Jim West. Dr. Demento so happened to be there. (In real life, it was Jay Levey, an up-and-comer back then who is STILL Al's manager.) Demento offers to take Al under his wing, and gives him the moniker "Weird Al." (side note: Amazing how Dr. Demento is still doing his shtick after 50 years!) Also parody: After Jack Black asks the crowd, John Deacon suggests Al parody his song "Another One Bites the Dust" on the spot, so Al busts out "Another One Rides the Bus" and then shuts down the idea of performing with Freddie Mercury. It's hilarious how this is just mocking Bohemian Rhapsody. Al just KNEW the notes and rhythm! Clearly false, but it's funny.

Complete falsities continue. Then, Dr. Demento in a bathtub gives Al LSD and Al sees a hellscape, and the "Lucy" is an angelic Demento. This sequence is absurd and hilarious (mocking "God told me to start a music career!" types), and somehow all this turns into "Eat It" before MJ does it, which gets Al a record deal after he'd already released a record. In the 80s. Lots of plot holes, but they're intentional. This is Weird Al. And MJ's apparently parodying Weird Al instead XD. Madonna shows up to come onto Al - in reality, she asked a mutual friend if Jay Levey said anything about "Like a Surgeon" and said friend asked Levey who then asked Al who then wrote it, but said he'd never again take parody ideas from original artists. More falsity: Al never had a mansion to glorify his ego. And he certainly never fucked Madonna or went on a date with her. This is young Al's fantasies manifested.

Daniel Radcliffe is fantastic pitching a conniption in the restaurant; the dysregulation looks real, and Madonna's seeming apathy veiled with attempt to care is perfectly embodied by Evan Rachel Wood. It's like she said: This satire of Madonna is a total sociopath. A drunk Al shows up at soundcheck, and Demento says Madonna's a bad influence... in front of her. She hands Al his car keys, and he gets in a head-on collision with a Mack truck, returning us to the Lin-Manuel Miranda cold opening that gives him the idea for "Like a Surgeon." He goes to perform it, with a very... gay performance. I couldn't look. I went back to look at that pretty chick from the T-Mobile commercial that had played multiple times (I took a screenshot). A completely plastered, shirtless Al refuses to sing "Eat It" and insults the audience. He keeps imbibing and is arrested on stage by Miami police.

As Al explains to Madonna how he's a trainwreck, she is abruptly divanapped, and the chefs are somehow in on it. A legit knife fight sequence ensues, where Al kills or seriously injures everyone who comes at him. The thugs yell that they're working for legendary drug lord Pablo Escobar. It's a trap. Cut to: Al, in camo, kills two commando goons in a jungle. Even more absurd and fantastical! He takes the goons' rifle and threatens Escobar and his entourage. Apparently Madonna was bait to get Al to come perform at Escobar's birthday party. Escobar dares call "Eat It" a Michael Jackson parody and Al subsequently kills everyone in the room, save for Escobar and Madonna. Escobar shoots him, not realizing that Al's platinum CD necklace serves as body armor, which he then uses as a ninja star to split the boss's head. After Madonna suggests taking over the cartel, Al realizes she is indeed a greedy sociopath, and she admits their relationship was just business. He leaves her there, but not before she shoots at him. Luckily, she's a bad shot.

For no apparent reason, Al's career is stymied, so he shows up at his dad's factory workplace. His dad inquires why he's there and admits he was wrong - a complete U-turn, particularly the Hawaiian undershirt. In reality, I'd guess Al's parents didn't support his career until he made it, since they had their insecurities. His dad says he'd grown up in an Amish Paradise but was kicked out for playing the accordion, so Al's accordion caused of baggage to resurface, and he didn't want Al to experience the same failure. This is a time warp of a decade: Al's rut was broken by Nirvana, not Coolio. Al's dad also scribbled lyrics to "Amish Paradise." Which Al performs live. And then Dr. Demento offers... adult adoption...? Uh. Al then wins an award and some commando comes in with a sniper rifle and... nobody says anything. He's working for Madonna, and... BLAM! Shocking ending. Hilariously shocking. Real pics ensue in the credits, followed by some very fake ones. Post-credits, Madonna tries to offer a rose at Al's grave (he "ate it"), but a hand comes out of the dirt and grabs her. Fade.

This movie gets a Weird Al/5. From someone who got his autograph after a show... that's a 5. Well-acted, finely written, actually decent production value, and brilliant parody in the Weird Al fashion. Gold.

See ya tomorrow for V!

charmander6000 posted...

Yeah, the fact that Cinderace is still active leaves me to believe Ash loses. Only way I see him winning is if Leon returns Charizard right away and then Pikachu somehow grabs two wins.

Yeah, accurate analysis. They gotta know the last two HAVE to be Leon's Charizard vs. Pikachu, regardless of who wins. I wouldn't like Pikachu losing to Cinderace because that feels like an afterthought. Unless of course Pikachu takes Cinderace down with him, so the battle results in a tie. That would reek of Tobias in Sinnoh, when after Sceptile KOed his signature Darkrai, Pikachu kamikazed the hacked Latios (with the difference being Tobias won outright since he had four left). I didn't like that, either, but in that case Darkrai HAD to be KOed first because of Tobias's MO. Leon's is different, so that would be even worse.

New topic for yas, put all Amazing Race comments in there:
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/80219472

And yes, I'm making fun of The Real Love Boat with that topic title, xD

This shows just how ridiculous advantages are. I can't follow who gave what to who and I have a headache. It just went by in a blur.

Pokewars posted...

How many seasons before people understand it's NEVER a good idea to tell anyone about knowledge is power?

Given the precedence of idols, at least 10. It's an awful advantage and everyone found out about it again QUICK here. Part of it was that they knew there was a good chance it had to be that. The fact that James made it clear he went for that advantage, however, was probably the greater folly. This let everyone defend their advantages.

Also Jesse is a nitwit for thinking of blindsiding Noelle now. He would significantly reduce his options. He should reduce Karla's before reducing his own so willingly. If Noelle goes, I'm not going to watch any longer. But thank GOODNESS Cody seems to have shut that down.

Blaziken posted...

Jesus Christ these sob stories...

I think he was Hubicking. I can't think of any other explanation.

I hope that "challenge moment" is good for Noelle's chances... and not for Sami's.

Minor updates only. Killed a dragon knight in the basin, by where I fought the dragon itself. Apparently it hated us or something. Found Katz Village - it hasn't changed at all in 1000 years, and the Katz even mention the Berseria visit ("Maotelus" specifically). I die against the vigilante Toitolez there... yeah, not trying that again for a while. I instead start clearing crucible fights - took care of Rose's and Edna's. Also found something at the end of the Earth Temple (I'll check the others later). All these fights were easy, though the latter crucible was longer since Edna is slow (I'd love controlling her if she were faster). Only one to go...

I think that's all I have to report.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Dawn of the Dead (Snyder Cut) (2004)
Directed by: Zack Snyder
Written by: James Gunn
Starring: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Jake Weber
Previous status: Never seen

"Hell is overflowing."

Oddly, that wasn't Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson, whom I'd first thought it was. Grainy TV effects can do that. No, that was a guy from the original movie, the George Romero version.

Before they took over the DCEU, Zack Snyder and James Gunn were making zombie movies together, back when they were frat boys. And frankly... aside from the ending, I really can't tell much of a difference between this one and Shaun of the Dead, its complementary release. There's comedy and romance in this one, too; the romance is even more overt, and... pretty much everything else is the same kind of thing. The humor in this one kinda dies off just the same, but doesn't resurface like it does in Shaun.

Gotta mention this early that the film is set in my home state of Wisconsin, namely south of Milwaukee (as implied by the radio mentioning Racine County, which I would think a script would leave in to pinpoint the location, as opposed to it meaning nothing in reality). I found it unusual that a gun shop was near Milwaukee Mitchell airport - the general area to which I'm referring, as that's more Waukesha. There's also whatever "Fort Pastor" is (doesn't actually exist) and... islands in Lake Michigan? Uh, what? Those are all to the north!

What may explain all this is that it was filmed in Toronto, which doesn't exactly double that well - it certainly didn't feel right to me, but I stopped caring when they were inside the mall (which apparently was slated for demolition, but they delayed it to film this). The mall was gorgeously built (just like the brilliant makeup - like that had to take half the budget alone), and certainly had a lot of things one could find helpful - not to mention fresh clothing for whenever the old stuff got bloodied, as happened frequently. Why Ana spent so long in her pajamas, stained with the blood from her zombified husband, is beyond me. And then she changed outfits several times with stolen clothes. It's also odd that nobody but Tucker thought a hat might be useful. Keeps blood splatter out of your eyes and can be used as a shield if a zombie is gunning for your neck. Just feed it to the zombie, run, and get another one later.

Snyder said his cut this time was "more personal and more gory" - I can't imagine how much more was added, since this movie wasn't as gory as I was expecting it to be. The casualties, however, were numerous; in fact, everybody dies. I don't really know if I like that ending or not, but I'm leaning "not." I'd have much preferred an ambiguous fate to it being very apparent that they all got cornered in an inescapable situation. This is why I prefer Shaun's ending; it was unexpected, and it was funny. This was neither. It was grim, it was bleak, and it was dry.

Even so, this movie was pretty much what I expected it to be: People shooting zombies. Or lighting them afire, because zombies are weak to fire. That's something often exploited: Either blow their brains out, since they don't have that much left up there, or light them on fire, since their decaying skin is highly flammable. It was dark. It was violent. And it was sad, too, but despite Snyder's statement that there was more character development in his cut, I felt that was a weakness of the movie. Ana's husband became a zombie, then she got away from him and never saw him or thought of him again. It's also weird how she was suddenly fighting him off just hours after they were fucking in the shower - how did she know he'd turned? How did she think a zombie outbreak was immediately possible? Was it the kid, Vivian, who was bloodied that got her to think something was wrong? It doesn't really make sense. She didn't operate like a normal person in regards to that, and he was forgotten halfway through the movie when she hooked up with Best Buy TV Guy Michael. Ana also took the pulse of that dead woman, forgetting that she could suddenly reanimate.

Her behavior wasn't the only one who was weird. Nicole's freak-out and pursuit of Chips the dog was odd. She'd had the dog a day and suddenly felt like he was worth risking her life for in a zombie apocalypse. I think the problem was the writing: This was back when Snyder and Gunn were young and dumb, long before the latter got canceled for such shit. He redeemed his image, sure, but I still think he's a douche, even if I enjoy Guardians of the Galaxy and am interested in what he'll do with DC. I don't think he'll any good for the female characters, though that's already a shitshow given how the second Wonder Woman movie was atrocious and another is played by a vicious harpy who shits on beds and lies on the witness stand. But I'm getting off topic. It's Halloween, I can talk about costumes, yes? My point is that the female characters here don't seem to be written well. The guys are also mostly generic, though Kenneth is great - Ving Rhames (whom I last saw as Marcellus in Pulp Fiction). I lol'd at his whiteboard sign chess match with Andy (who met such an unfortunate fate, as someone who shares his name). CJ was, however, the most interesting character; he was such an ass, and his stoolie Bart followed his example. And then he started warming up to people once they told him he needed to not be an ass, or he dies. And he died anyway - as a hero who blew himself and a couple dozen zombies to bits with one of his propane tank grenades. It was awesome.

A few rapid-fire notes here:

• It's also weird how they just knew what boat was Steve's, since Steve was very much dead by then. Like... did he give them every nauseating detail in case anything happened to him?
• Andre, a criminal and Kenneth, a cop, came together - but may or may not have realized that it didn't really matter what they were anymore now that they had to survive off the land. Things changed fast. It's anarchy, and that was indicated when CJ got locked up and everyone did whatever the hell they wanted. Including Kenneth.
• Andre and Luda breeding a zombie babby was... yeah. Shooting the little imp had to be traumatizing.
• Why didn't they think to use the sewer earlier, when Andy needed food? There had to be a way to get the food to his door, get back into the sewer, close the grate, and not attract the zombies.
• Glen and Monica's deaths felt very forced, since it made no sense why Glen was wielding a chainsaw at that point.
• It was weird how, early in the movie, the two groups just magically found each other without having encountered much in the way of zombies.
• Watching the "Special report" they missed... what the hell is "the Heartland" and who the hell says that around here? Do your research, guys!
• Michael giving himself up wasn't too saddening to me, since he was pretty generic. Just "generic Prince Charming" type of guy

So, in the end, this was pretty much not too different from Shaun. I liked some things more about that one and other things better about this one. I think Shaun had better characters and a better ending. This one had better fights/action and art direction (including makeup). The art direction matters a lot in a zombie movie for sure, but I think that because Shaun is better written, I have to give it a slight edge, and give this one a 3/5 also. It's not exactly my thing, but it was a good mood movie for Halloween.

@BetrayedTangy you get a new nomination!

Next movie will probably be either tomorrow or Friday (not sure what yet). And then V for Vendetta on Saturday because November 5th, its fixed date thanks to Guy Fawkes. (write-up for that may be Sunday morning jsyk)

Mirage shows she's charmed by Bobnd (okay, yeah, that wasn't funny, sorry - but this is why she's a Bond Girl: She betrays the Big Bad upon realizing he is bad) after he refuses to choke her after grabbing her by accident, and she recognizes it's not because he's weak: It's because he's a good guy. He could never kill someone who isn't trying to kill him. She comes in later to free him... followed immediately by Helen, who catches Bob embracing Mirage to thank her for the freedom. She completely misunderstood, but thankfully let this go once Mirage helps them procure an "aircraft" and informs them where her boss is headed (this is after Violet epically frees everyone by abusing her force field to nullify the shock absorbers, something Syndrome couldn't have planned for). She really is on their side, since she's wanted to get away from Syndrome and his advances, since he's an immoral superhero serial killer who is bent on making himself into the greatest hero there ever was. There's a layer here: Syndrome went around killing superheroes for funsies so he could kill Mr. Incredible later. But the reverse wasn't true - Mr. Incredible wasn't going to kill Syndrome's secretary and supposed lover because his beef wasn't with her. It was with Syndrome. (It's also never explained how her name is Mirage or what her powers are, but that's a question for another day.)

The climax is FUN. Syndrome, despite his genius with inventions, is a moron. He taught his robot to learn from an opponent but forgot to make himself an exception; the robot quickly picked up the remote as a threat and shot it off his arm, knocking him out in the process as the Incredibles (despite Bob and Helen having a fight now of all times, because dysfunctional sitcom family) + Uncle Frozone (despite Mrs. Frozone's true to life attempts to get him to come to dinner) took care of the robot old-school style. Everyone was appreciative, and superheroes had their day once more... and Syndrome wasn't a part of it. BACKFIRE! Love it.

Syndrome apparently knows where the Parrs live so he goes to relieve their sitter, "Mozart makes babies smarter" girl (hilarious), and surprises them with a force ray. He's about to abduct Jack-Jack the baby to be his sidekick, spreading lies as he grows older, but Jack-Jack has a few powers, as the babysitter had discovered. One of them is an ability to sense malice, it seems. He can tell that Buddy isn't his buddy. He can also change his molecular composition, so he becomes a fireball, a metal version of himself, and a little imp in a short span of time. This leads Syndrome to have a fit mid-air and accidentally kick one of his hover boots off. Jack-Jack falls and Helen saves him, then Bob throws the spy car as a weapon (that's okay, Q Branch can always fix that) and knocks the plane off balance, leading to more payoff: Syndrome, having chosen a cape as part of his attire, gets caught in the suction of the plane engine, much like a different superhero had in Edna's "No capes" rant. The engine tears him to shreds, and the world breathes a sigh of relief that they won't have to experience a fake superhero, one the government was putting the kibosh on anyway as a con man.

After this, there's a quick array of closure: Dash finally tries out for track, but is unable to know how fast he's supposed to go without tipping people off to his mutant powers. Violet finally gets asked out by the boy she has a crush on, in large part because she "looks different" thanks to the headband and a huge boost of confidence she got from having both eyes able to see at once... and from killing many of Syndrome's thugs before they got her, probably. And then, a supervillain finally decides to come out of hiding: The Underminer, who's the Big Bad in a follow-up video game, since they didn't make a sequel to this movie for far too long. Something which I'll be watching eventually.

Honestly, this is Pixar perfection. There's a great Big Bad in Syndrome, and Mirage is a great character as well. Edna Mode is awesome. Violet's great too. Bob's very real struggles with corporate nonsense shook me, and that's a good thing - it makes him relatable and likable. Frozone is Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson, minus the cussing. This entire cast is great! And, to add, gags like the cop telling Frozone to "freeze" only for him to get iced, or the thug who told Violet to "show yourself" like a certain Disney Princess, or the bubble gum kid witnessing Bob totaling the little car and later seeing Syndrome die before the plane crushed their house (but not them, because Violet) add a lot. And then the credits is awesome, a sort of "Mission Impossible meets comic books" sort of reel. Again, this is part spy movie (as Brad Bird has stated), and that's one of the reasons I love it. 5/5, gold. No surprise. Glad I watched this again!

@Zachnorn @MetalmindStats I have moved your nominations appropriately, to Incredibles 2 and Ratatouille, respectively. But I thought I'd tag you both anyway

The Incredibles (2004)
Written and directed by: Brad Bird
Starring: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee, Sarah Vowell, Spencer Fox, Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson
Previous status: Saw ages ago

"Every super hero has a secret identity."

When it first came out, I loved this movie, and it was my favorite Pixar movie, and still was in my head. I mean, it was Pixar tackling superheroes, and it was BEFORE there was another goddamn superhero movie every other month. Really, it was engaging, and I remember things like "No capes" - which pays off at the movie's end. Do I remember all the reasons why I loved it? Not quite.

But now I do.

This is like a cross between a spy movie and a superhero movie, and then it makes fun of itself on top of that. The end result is a thrill ride that knows when to be hilarious, knew when to be provocative, knew when to be fun, knew when to be action-packed, and knew when to call its shots. The balance between everything is quite perfect, as the action sequences are evenly spaced and planted among running gags (capes, seat belts, biggest fans, gum kid, etc.).

After a few incidents (that DB5-like spy car was awesome, by the way, particularly the ejector seat - though that predated Bond, I think? Also Bob and Helen got married with only superheroes as their audience.), superheroes get sued into oblivion, and the super villains probably go into hiding too for the same reason; this is probably why "Bomb Voyage" - a French-speaking mime who makes explosives - disappeared without a trace, and him not making a reappearance in any shape or form after that is unexplained. And that's really the end of my problems with this movie: It's never really explained what became of the supervillains during the time the government shut the superheroes down (how'd the lawyers get away with that?). There's also completely insignificant stuff that I'm not gonna talk about since there's no need to - it's insignificant.

After being forced into retirement, about 15 years later (I presume late 1960s) Bob has a truly awful boss that reeks of "corporate stooge." Bob feels like a soulless automaton and rebels against it by "faking" claim denials, then explaining how to beat the system. Boss doesn't like this. He doesn't care about happy customers, he's a money grubbing executive with a Napoleon complex. He goes on this rant about cogs and, boy, did that incense me. I've ranted many a time about how I'm being told I'm nothing but a cog and rebel against that. And, since the boss was complicit in a mugging in an alleyway, and also demeaning Bob, he throws the guy through a series of walls and puts him into a coma. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. Bob suddenly is much happier and healthier without a job to tie him down - GEE I WONDER WHY THAT IS. (Spoiler alert: I haven't had a job in a year, as of today, when I get let go by a shitty company that's since shuttered that shitty business. Just like with them, schadenfreude galore.)

This is among many "life" scenes. There's one where Dash gets sent to the principal's office, only for his teacher to be the one to get in trouble for using a camera to record students without their knowledge. Violet's got her first crush, and yet she's too shy to express herself - something that comes with her story once she somehow materializes a headband that can somehow also become invisible with her (this is unexplained, but still insignificant). Violet and Dash have a typical sibling rivalry made atypical by their superpowers escalating fights. Violet can knock him backwards with a force field when he tries to run at the speed of sound, then become invisible so he can't find her. She has a huge advantage in these but it's a total mess, a mess that continues once they realize it's Uncle Lucius at the door, who's in on the whole thing, being Frozone (I mean, it's Samuel L. Jackson being Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson, what more could you ask for?).

Frozone and Mr. Incredible are reliving their "glory days" and it doesn't go well in a certain burning building, but a Bond Girl named Mirage is monitoring them, and once Bob's let go from his job, she offers him a contract to "help recover some equipment" - for the government apparently, but it reeks of a trap. I'd forgotten about her, to be honest, but how could I? She's a Bond Girl! More on that bit later, but Bob disposes of a robot by making it annihilate itself, a crafty little thing nobody expected him to do. Her "employer" is most certainly not the government, but Bob doesn't raise any questions and just trusts her. This comes back to bite him, once he's summoned and her boss is revealed to be Buddy Pine, aka the former "Incrediboy" brat who interrupted Mr. Incredible's superhero business. The 8 y/o Buddy was traumatized by his hero being so cold to him, and became desperate to prove himself. He became a serial killer of superheroes, using Mirage to lure them into it, and she knew she couldn't betray him without getting killed since he made all kinds of crazy gadgets, including this "learning robot." I mean, he was a psychologically disturbed serial killer. Why go against him if you don't have help?

Bob visited Edna Mode on a whim to get his supersuit repaired (this is the "No capes" speech which has even more examples than I recalled), but she made new ones for him and the whole family, then tipped Helen off as to the truth about her husband. Edna's great, and this isn't the only Edna I've been saying this about, given Zestiria Edna is similarly snarky (though much younger in appearance) in all the right ways. Is that just what the name "Edna" entails or something? (Worth noting: Edna Mode is voiced by the director, Brad Bird, doing an impression - hilarious little factoid.)

But... Helen never noticed the missing supersuit for whatever reason, and it was seeing a stitch that tipped her off. She knew she had to go rescue him from some crisis because of what he'd gotten himself into, and the kids stowed away on the plane, which then blew up because Violet hadn't had enough practice making plane-sized force fields. Too much to ask. All this family drama feels so real, and it's quite fun how it's dispersed throughout the film and not squared away at the beginning. There's also clever combinations of superpowers, like ElastiGirl turning into a boat and Dash being the motor, or Dash running inside of one of Violet's force fields like a hamster in a ball. It's pretty nifty, and there's no shortage of it. Also cool: Dash causing two of the thousand goons to have their hovercrafts collide. BOOM!

(more - can't condense)

Nameless2000 posted...

posting "you mad, bro?" in 2022 is killing me

cool story bro

Just messing around :P

Underleveled posted...

The 10-11 hour is still considered primetime.

Ah. I was under the impression that 10-11 was the "extended" hour and that the 8-9 and 9-10 hours were the most "primetime" ones. I live in Central time so it's a little different, since the first hour is 7-8. A lot of people I know go to bed around 10ish, so that's why I said what I said. Perhaps it's different in other time zones.

But, yes, I'm glad that the Titanic-themed series sunk, because that way I might actually watch Amazing Race instead of getting distracted.

I haven't been feeling well until today, so I don't want to have to process thoughts (Zestiria is very much mindless at the point I'm at) and thus haven't watched anything. I'm sorry.

I'll try to do two tomorrow.

You mad, bro?

Also you were being very critical of someone without justification, so it's clear you don't know what you're talking about. And, since you won't let us change the subject and keep coming back with your negativity: Please leave this topic and don't come back. Thanks.