Lurker > AutumnCrow

Feels like theres no one in the world I really connect with. Anyone with whom I can maintain a personal relationship without using a job or a hobby as a proxy for intimacy.

Nobody seems to be interested in the things that interest me. And likewise, I cant bring myself to care about a lot of things that might make it easier for me to integrate with the rest of society. Theres an impasse.

Ive sort of made peace with this fact, but it does get lonely at times. Theres not anyone who I can really share anything with. So I make do with niche internet boards, but thats not a replacement for friendship.

Idk. Just ranting. Im not in a bad place right now, just feeling melancholy
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http://i.imgtc.com/3WWprql.mp4

Houston posted...

Are you not liking your job? Is that a source of your depression? Are you depressed because of anything particular? Or you are just depressed even though things are going great for you?

Its a couple of factors, but the unifying theme is that nothing I can do helps me accomplish what I need to be able to do. Multiple attempts to better my position are met with failure. And my physical and mental health slow what progress there is to an unbearably painful pace, to the point that it seems Ill never get out of my current situation.

I do have a few good things though. And Im not in danger of destitution or anything. But it all seems so hopeless.
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http://i.imgtc.com/3WWprql.mp4

ArchiePeck posted...

Depression is an illness. Illnesses require treatment from a medical professional. Go and seek it.

I actually did. I have a counselor appointment coming up in addition to my psychiatrist.

Every time I see a counselor it doesnt help. I dont know why, but none have made me feel any better, and none have told me anything I didnt already know or think of. Im going again out of sheer desperation though.
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http://i.imgtc.com/3WWprql.mp4

Alt engaged

I feel like my body and mind are deteriorating. Im losing the energy and motivation to do anything.

Im at work and took my lunch break an hour into my shift because I just cant bring myself to do much

Thinking about quitting, citing health, and trying for unemployment insurance. Maybe if Im lucky, Ill be able to get over this before I get another job. (If eligible, Id be required to apply to three or four jobs per week. Might take a while, who knows)

I dont know.

No point to this topic. Just venting.
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http://i.imgtc.com/3WWprql.mp4